The Dating Thread - episode 61

[lurkinglorna]

BOOM!

Lorna - I think being seen by one potential whilst snogging another one is a surefire loser, unless you're aiming for a threesome, which I guess you're not.

You can respond back and say well it's a bit early for exclusivity, but the guy sounds like a bit of a dick anyway.

Sardines and couscous sounds nice though

Django is the thread WAG now, high fives

OWW all sounds very exciting indeed!

OD is already upping my confidence Juliette/OWW. One realises not everyone is an utter narcissistic wanker and that there are many different types of people out there. And just being away from that destructive man is also helping.

He was terrified himself of aging so projected it onto me. For me mature people are not unattractive at all. In fact I rather like a nice silver fox and mature women imho can look fabulous. So I don't know why all the sh*t he gave me about 'getting old' got to me so much. I guess it's just when someone sets out to destroy another's confidence they can often achieve it! But he's gone thank god :D

Lorna you were SEEN by one date kissing the other!!!? Good grief. glad he didn't see the fingering incident LOL.

He sounds way too much hard work tbh.

OD seems to dent my confidence. I get horrible messages from pathetic people making comments about my looks.

ha ha yeah hostess contrary to impressions we're not in a grange hill episode, all "relatively sorted grown up looking people"! i think to be fair the kissing incident was witnessed when the european and i weren't dating.

trouble is there are limited "nice going out venues" in town, i'm a non driver so have to stick to city centre - never been seen kissing before, but have gone into "Cafe X" for a 1st meet to see someone I went out with six months ago sitting there

hostess older we get the sexier we feel

So which sites are the best? I'm just on POF at the moment.

Lorna at being seen. This is why you always keep multiples in separate towns streets.

Also, sorry for wittering on about myself, what do you do for babysitting? My only option really if I want to try harder and get out there is to use an agency, does anyone else pay £40 for a babysitter to go on a date that might stand you up anyway?

Checking in - back from hols in France with DD. Have seen a profile I like on POF so have messaged her (fingers crossed as I don't see many profiles I actually like). Hostess - cannot tell you how much I agree (having been described on this very thread as a Silver fox) - I was (and still am) being put down by ex (mother of DD) for being "old fart", boring etc because I've accepted how old I am and am not planning plastic surgery etc. As it goes, I find (natural) grey hair on a woman very very appealing, not least because it's so rare! I don't find much younger and/or plasticy women attractive at all. Ex is terrified of accepting she's getting old.

flojo

i'm a recent convert to POF - only went onto it to save some cash was a match.com girl before.

my thoughts:

• POF has a LOT more people, so i'm sticking with it. but i think you need to be harsher about filtering due to the volume of timewasters?

• match.com - i think i ran out of people i liked in my area after about 1 month on it?

• i think you get a "3 day trial" with match.com . the way to get this is sign up but don't pay, have a look round, and after about a few weeks you'll get an e-mail offering you the trial . be very careful with what card details you put in, as they can be funny about taking payment early on a "rolling contract" without getting permission - i used my holiday cashcard with no money on it to be safe!

• ps thus far my "haul" has been

• match.com on and off for 3 years, 2 really outstanding romances, a few ones that were promising, and loads of first dates that were "meh"

• pof thus far i think the calibre of men has been about the same but only on for about a month i think?

Flojo - POF seems to have the worst of the bunch, although apparently there are some good people on there too. It's got more people than other sites, so it takes a thick skin and a lot of needle-finding to discover them though.

OKC may work better where you live - it takes time to answer the questions but I've found their 'Match percentage' is vaguely correct, compared to POF or Match.com

You can create a free profile on Match and some profiles are set up so you can contact them for free if you like them. You still get affluent spuds and affluent dicks who can afford it, but you won't get the teenagers at least - at least not with a full profile who can contact you.

People making comments about you are just morons with an anger issue. I'd discard their opinions, or if you want to, copy the link to 'psychotherapy' or possibly 'oedipal complex' from wikipedia and just send them the link to that in reply. That should shut them up.

Ah ok, I will stick with POF.
dad you sound a rare breed!
wine even with the size issue. He actually said that? And still, you went there!

Flojo you get rude comments? ffs. Block the buggers. I have had the odd one from Tories (I specifically say on my profile that I am no fan of theirs) telling me what a silly girl I am. They get blocked.

POF I have had no real good from. One brief shag thing who turned out to be very dull. One bloke who only wanted to be friends (and still is one!) Have found OKC a bit better as Bant says. Lots of dates at least.

when I went on match I did find a boyfriend very quickly, didn't last because I was too messed up at the time.

dadfromuncle security in aging (which after should not be seen as a bad thing! It's a sign one has lived ffs.. but our society is bloody shallow) is a very attractive quality in both men and women. I feel my ex tried to destroy that in me entirely as he wanted me to be as insecure as he was... I'm trying to get that back and it is coming slowly!!

Yes wine I'm also jealous, small dick or not :D. the (very ) young man I slept with was NOT free with compliments and in fact I got a nasty text from him the next day. Other 21 year old flaked out on me.

Wine high fives!

Juliette yes, I am 50% and 50% at the whole tawdry situation.

DFU hi!

btw dadfromuncle as a bisexual woman I don't find much younger or plasticky women appealing at all either. Rather scary in fact. Would much rather a m or f silver fox with a gleam in his/her eye.

"I have had the odd one from Tories (I specifically say on my profile that I am no fan of theirs) telling me what a silly girl I am"

If they're Tories, they'll probably want you to message back and tell them they're "tewwibly nawty boys, and need a good spanking"

Right I think I might double my chances and join okc too

i had a date on Friday with someone i met rl. had already decided he wasn't the oneso wasn't nervous but actually he's really nice so now i am nervous.
saw him again today, went well again so just seeing how it goes but have made it clear im looking for a relationship and not just sex. is it ok to do that, worried im coming across as neurotic already but don't want to have my time wasted

aging

yeah this is an annoyance of mine. i think cause of ethnicity i often get told by dudes "you look like you're a lot younger than you are".

this is NOT a compliment, this is creepy. i want to date and have lovers who actually look their years and are happy with them.

Winefiend high five to your amazing Yoni!