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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

please help me partner just attacked am in shock

258 replies

yummytummy · 20/04/2013 22:38

Unfortunately an ongoing thing had been taking steps to leave but things calmed down.

Just tried to talk about a fight we had yesterday I started v calm then he didn't like what I waz saying got agitated then pushed me onto sofa hard then pulled my legs and was dragging me around I tried to get him off and ripped his top then of course I am the crazy one and I started attacking him for no reason.

Then he said wd kill me if I phoned police kids are asleep he is refusing to leave what do I do plz help

OP posts:
changeforthebetter · 20/04/2013 23:26

Police 999

You are not wasting their time. If you are frightened to ring PM one of us your address and we will ring PLEASE!

KansasCityOctopus · 20/04/2013 23:26

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

auntmargaret · 20/04/2013 23:26

Please call the police. Your kids need their mum. You will all sleep more soundly when he is gone.

blackcurrants · 20/04/2013 23:29

if you call the police NOW, or PM someone on this thread and they call the police for you - then they will come and take him away, and you should be able to prevent him coming back for as long as it takes for you to get somewhere safe.

I would offer to call for you but I'm abroad so won't be as efficient. PM Changeforthebetter or Kansas who have just offered with your address and the police will show up without him knowing, and take him away.

QuintessentialOHara · 20/04/2013 23:29

Please call the police before this escalates.

RiaOverTheRainbow · 20/04/2013 23:29

You can text the police I think, if you'd feel safer not speaking out loud.

RhondaJean · 20/04/2013 23:30

Please please don't wait.

TeaMakesItAllPossible · 20/04/2013 23:33

Call the police now, especially if he is threatening to take the phone off you. Please.

KansasCityOctopus · 20/04/2013 23:36

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

maristella · 21/04/2013 00:07

Years ago I had to call the police with my attacker still in the house. I didn't speak when the call was answered so they put me straight through to police. Police asked me yes and no questions, and I made a small noise for yes. Call them now please xx

lisad123everybodydancenow · 21/04/2013 00:18

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

CalamityKate · 21/04/2013 00:23

Any chance you can surreptitiously ring 999 from a landline and then leave it off the hook? The police will trace the call and turn up.

My XDHs little boy rang 999 once just to see what would happen and didn't say a word. First we knew about it was the cops on the doorstep.

NorthernLurker · 21/04/2013 00:27

You are in danger. Your kids are in danger, you need to find a way to call 999 now. It is NOT too late to text friends in an emergency. It's never too late.

skyebluesapphire · 21/04/2013 00:32

Please call the police as soon as you can, if he is asleep. They will remove him from the house and put your number on a high risk list. Call Womens Aid too for help and advice

ThatVikRinA22 · 21/04/2013 00:40

while you have your phone. He will not kill you - he knows if police get invloved it will be bad for him.... - if kids are in bed the police will remove him - either arrest him, or if you dont want to make a complaint he would be moved to a friends or his parents - but out from under your feet for tonight.

has he or you been drinking?
whose house is it?

Original poster
yummytummy · 21/04/2013 01:59

Ok I rang police they just left took him straight away and just spent two hours doing statements. They were so good. Feel relieved and safe but worried what will happen tomorrow when he comes back. Am glad someone is at last protecting me thanku all for pushing me hope this is first step to freedom

OP posts:
Original poster
yummytummy · 21/04/2013 02:01

Is it bad to feel weirdly happy he has gone even though things are so messed up atm?

OP posts:
LuisGarcia · 21/04/2013 02:06

no

starflake · 21/04/2013 02:08

Try not let him back in now that you have him out. You can pack up his stuff and leave it somewhere for him to collect. No its not bad to feel happy. You are relived and a weight has been lifted, thats why you feel happy. Good on you for phoning them..... Dont let him back in now you have him out.

Cheddars · 21/04/2013 02:10

Has he attacked you before Op? Don't let him back in tomorrow.

ThatVikRinA22 · 21/04/2013 02:11

whose name is the house in OP?

its unlikely that he will be prevented from returning if this is the first offence if the house is in his name or joint names - on monday get a solicitors appointment. Stay strong.
if the house is in your name then you can refuse him entry and call police again if he starts being a prick.

Original poster
yummytummy · 21/04/2013 02:19

House is in joint names. They assured me he would be escorted back and not left to turn up full of anger. They will ring in am . Am still thinking wtf have I done and random stuff we were meant to take kids swimming in am what do I tell them.?

OP posts:
ThatVikRinA22 · 21/04/2013 02:25

he will calm down hopefully over night - he will be in a cell to stew so he can see the consequences of his anger and hopefully will shock him.

but use this momentum to get some help before this gets worse.
solicitor appt asap. dont tell him.
ring womens aid for advice.
the police should have details of local agencies that might be able to help - in our force we pass all domestic violence incidents on to the DV team who phone with follow up advice.

how old are teh kids?
just tell them daddy was being naughty so he had to go and stay at another house for the night in case he woke them up. can you still take them swimming on your own?
do you have any family support near by? might be an idea if you do to have someone around with you tomorrow....are you worried about how he will react when he gets back?

if he starts again - 999. police will be there within minutes if a DV is taking place when you phone.

yonisparechangemr · 21/04/2013 02:37

Op Confused don't let him back in for all the gold in the world, read your first post and ask yourself if you would ever let Dc take their partners back after that? (when they are old enough!)

xxx

Lueji · 21/04/2013 06:57

Not a goo idea to let him back in.

My guess is he'll turn up all apologetic, but it will soon change. It might not be today or tomorrow but soon.
Check his attitude carefully if you do allow him in.

Could you get someone in the house to be with you?

At least call WA and ask for advice on what to do now.

Please don't hold on for the house. Make sure you and the DC are safe first.