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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Relationships

please help me partner just attacked am in shock

258 replies

yummytummy · 20/04/2013 22:38

Unfortunately an ongoing thing had been taking steps to leave but things calmed down.

Just tried to talk about a fight we had yesterday I started v calm then he didn't like what I waz saying got agitated then pushed me onto sofa hard then pulled my legs and was dragging me around I tried to get him off and ripped his top then of course I am the crazy one and I started attacking him for no reason.

Then he said wd kill me if I phoned police kids are asleep he is refusing to leave what do I do plz help

OP posts:

Report

cjel · 02/05/2013 12:39

Morning yummy, How are the fish fingers? You OK?

Stellarella123 · 01/05/2013 19:29

How's it going?

Jux · 30/04/2013 09:28

(((hugs)))

Hang in there.

TeaMakesItAllPossible · 30/04/2013 09:14

I completely agree with all the other posters. Please don't worry about your children's diet at this point - there will be plenty of days, weeks and years to feed them what you want. Your energy is needed to get out of the relationship.

Are you able to get to the solicitors today?

blackcurrants · 29/04/2013 20:26

Many hugs from me!
This is a turbulent time - fishfingers and beans on toast for a few weeks, plus maybe a bit more telly than usual - is better for your DC than a childhood spent with an abusive father. You are doing brilliantly, be kind to your self and keep on keeping on!
(((hugs)))

turbochildren · 29/04/2013 16:57

just to add a hug from here too.
Fishfingers do not count as junk food! they are healthy! :)
We have cucumber to almost anything, it counts as "veg" and will sometimes be their 1-a-day...
How old are your children?
You just take your time, and when you are all yourself again I'm pretty sure you'll start noticing how lovely you are!
Constant abuse does not make anyone beautiful, but you'll blossom once you don't have to hear all this rubbish spouted at you!

extra hug.

yummytummy · 29/04/2013 15:06

Also hav totally lost appetite which is unlike me all clothes loose wd be great ordinarily but not now. But then I am constantly told I am fat and ugly so believe it now

OP posts:

yummytummy · 29/04/2013 15:04

Thankyou for hugs, hugs to all of you too. Its so nice to receive such kindness from here just dont have much in rl. Feel a bit affection starved! And kids are lovely but tiny so will endure my hugs then ask for more chocolate. Feel like have been letting them down a bit with fishfingers etc and more junky food than normal.

OP posts:

BabyHMummy · 29/04/2013 14:02

Hugs Huni Xxx

Lueji · 29/04/2013 13:51

Have a big hug anyway.

cjel · 29/04/2013 13:43

yummy - if i was near enough I would hug you.Can you ring womans aid. I still don't think he should be in you home after what he did. Can you get advice about ways of making him leave.? ask garage if they can lend you curtesy car for tomorrow, quite often they will have one even if its not the same as the one your used to?legal fees don't have to be paid yet and then only when you have had the work done. I paid a few hundred up front then bit more few months later as they do the work , so you don't have to think about that today.xx

yummytummy · 29/04/2013 13:00

hi just to say am ok-ish. just starting to feel really really depressed by it all. he is getting to me just by his presence and not done anything but the threat is always there. its just feeling on top of me atm. also my car has had to go to garage and may not be ready by tomorrow so may not be able to get to solicitor. its really crap. plus it will cost around £700 and had been trying to save for legal fees etc i will need soon. wish i had someone who could just hug me and look after me and sort it out.

OP posts:

turbochildren · 29/04/2013 12:35

Wondering the same as jux, are you ok Yummytummy?

Jux · 29/04/2013 11:50

Are you OK, yummytummy?

Stellarella123 · 28/04/2013 19:41

Hope all is ok today x

cjel · 28/04/2013 08:19

morning yummy. thinking about you this morning.hope you're ok?

skyebluesapphire · 28/04/2013 01:47

If he is violent and its on record, You can get an injunction against him to keep him away from the house whether he owns it or not . If you qualify for legal aid you can still get it in cases of DV. If he breaks the injunction then he will be arrested.

You can't change the locks on a joint mortgage but you may be able to if you have an injunction, you will need professional advice on that.

A girl i know has around four different injunctions against her violent ex as he tried to kidnap the kids.

NotSuchASmugMarriedNow · 27/04/2013 23:32

Hope the Op's OK

Lavenderhoney · 27/04/2013 21:05

Can you sleep in with the dc or take them somewhere til tues?
He sounds a total tool to expect you to go to a picnic(!) don't go, for all the excellent reasons listed on this thread.

Call the police if you can. In the loo, when he begins to get threatening. Don't wait.

chipmonkey · 27/04/2013 20:53

He put himself in jail! I cannnot believe they let him back in to your house!

BabyHMummy · 27/04/2013 20:37

She would be breaking the law to change the locks even if the police remove him

marriedinwhiteagain · 27/04/2013 19:51

Read my post BabyHMummy Police, Locksmith, in that order. OP where are your parents? Do you have anywhere else you could go; refuge even via the street if you have to?

BabyHMummy · 27/04/2013 19:39

marriedinwhite she can't change the locks. He is named as part owner and therefore has right of access. She cannot stop him being there unless the police or social services prevent it

Yummy ignore him. He ia trying reassert his power over you. Stay strong and if he starts with threats ring the police straight away

turbochildren · 27/04/2013 19:37

Yes, seconding Hissy. Of course he is upset he went to prison, and how awful this was for HIM. His family may think the same. But remember WHY he went to prison. Why was it again? oh, yes. He attacked you and threatened you. That is illegal, and he is now having to face the consequences of his behaviour, and he does not like that. It is not just you saying he shouldn't do it, it's the whole rest of society pointing out he is in the wrong. If he goes out for the evening, is there any way you can barricade the doors? put a polite notice on it to say he has to sleep elsewhere, and if he kicks up a fuss call the police and have him removed. I should think you are entitled to do that? I don't want to give wrong advice here, but hoping you stay safe and roll on Tuesday!

cjel · 27/04/2013 19:31

keep posting so you can realise its only alittle while and you won't be livling like this. as you say roll on tues. BUT you dont have to wait till then if you don't want to . you always have a choice. Don't let him get to youxx

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