please help me partner just attacked am in shock

[yummytummy]

Unfortunately an ongoing thing had been taking steps to leave but things calmed down.

Just tried to talk about a fight we had yesterday I started v calm then he didn't like what I waz saying got agitated then pushed me onto sofa hard then pulled my legs and was dragging me around I tried to get him off and ripped his top then of course I am the crazy one and I started attacking him for no reason.

Then he said wd kill me if I phoned police kids are asleep he is refusing to leave what do I do plz help

[Hissy]

If you go to a picnic, connected to HIM, when you have a redflag on the house...

How seriously do you think your situation would be treated?

How do you think that will sound in COURT, if heaven forbid this plonker actually does hurt you or the DC to get to you?

What about if you tried for a non-mol order, and it comes out that you are WILLINGLY going to a family social event that is connected with him?

You have to think of the bigger picture here. You need to document EVERYTHING, make the Dr aware, the DV team aware, the HV, the school, your work if applicable. There must be evidence EVERYWHERE.

NO contact with anyone that could put you in reasonable contact with him.

Be smart. Play the long game. Nothing will happen to improve your chances if you undermine them by going along with things to comply with his wishes.

Any decent family would understand if you told them what had happened and why you sadly can't attend.

[Hissy]

"But if I dont I will be slagged off."

Let them. anyone who does this is a TWAT.

With an abusive partner, you have already been called all the names under the sun right, well a few more won't make much difference, will it?

LET them say what they like, says more about them than it does you.

In time, none of this will matter, look PAST all this and focus on where you want to be.

Don't go to the picnic.

[yummytummy]

Oh god hav been out most of day just got back in those few mins he has been so arsey its unreal really laying into me as I said didnt want to go picnic. So sick of him said it was better when he was away he said go then and stormed off. Feel like am going mental wish he wd just piss off somewhere. Has to squeeze in the abuse whenever he can obv has no intention of changing feel like stabbing him when he is asleep

[cjel]

If you really can't stand it and don't feel safe then ring the police or WA. You no longer have to tolerate feeling like this. Don't. do something now before he blows again.xx

[marriedinwhiteagain]

This seems to have been going on for a week. Don't really understand why. Decision, police, locksmith, solicitor. If you want your sanity and your freedom deal with it; if you don't then stay and suck it up. Apologies for the harshness but if you don't like his behaviour you are the only one who can do something about it. And he's a stinking arse by the way but you are facilitating the stink.

[Hissy]

Stay calm love, in time all this will fade into the distance.

focus on what you felt like when he WASN'T there... how much better that felt.

Put ALL your energy into preparing to get out. then go.

[yummytummy]

Ok trying to stay cool and ignore but its hard as jjust got the u put me in jail u dont know what I went through boofuckinghoo I dont care all about his pain he is just pissed off someone has called him on it. Hurry up tuesday.

[Hissy]

If he makes a move love, call the police and get him put BACK there.

Please? Stay focussed. If yopu are frightened, call the police. Every single time.

You are now compiling evidence.

Do it right, and you might get an occupation order.

[cjel]

keep posting so you can realise its only alittle while and you won't be livling like this. as you say roll on tues. BUT you dont have to wait till then if you don't want to . you always have a choice. Don't let him get to youxx

[turbochildren]

Yes, seconding Hissy. Of course he is upset he went to prison, and how awful this was for HIM. His family may think the same. But remember WHY he went to prison. Why was it again? oh, yes. He attacked you and threatened you. That is illegal, and he is now having to face the consequences of his behaviour, and he does not like that. It is not just you saying he shouldn't do it, it's the whole rest of society pointing out he is in the wrong. If he goes out for the evening, is there any way you can barricade the doors? put a polite notice on it to say he has to sleep elsewhere, and if he kicks up a fuss call the police and have him removed. I should think you are entitled to do that? I don't want to give wrong advice here, but hoping you stay safe and roll on Tuesday!

[BabyHMummy]

marriedinwhite she can't change the locks. He is named as part owner and therefore has right of access. She cannot stop him being there unless the police or social services prevent it

Yummy ignore him. He ia trying reassert his power over you. Stay strong and if he starts with threats ring the police straight away

[marriedinwhiteagain]

Read my post BabyHMummy Police, Locksmith, in that order. OP where are your parents? Do you have anywhere else you could go; refuge even via the street if you have to?

[BabyHMummy]

She would be breaking the law to change the locks even if the police remove him

[chipmonkey]

He put himself in jail! I cannnot believe they let him back in to your house!

[Lavenderhoney]

Can you sleep in with the dc or take them somewhere til tues?
He sounds a total tool to expect you to go to a picnic(!) don't go, for all the excellent reasons listed on this thread.

Call the police if you can. In the loo, when he begins to get threatening. Don't wait.

[NotSuchASmugMarriedNow]

Hope the Op's OK

[skyebluesapphire]

If he is violent and its on record, You can get an injunction against him to keep him away from the house whether he owns it or not . If you qualify for legal aid you can still get it in cases of DV. If he breaks the injunction then he will be arrested.

You can't change the locks on a joint mortgage but you may be able to if you have an injunction, you will need professional advice on that.

A girl i know has around four different injunctions against her violent ex as he tried to kidnap the kids.

[cjel]

morning yummy. thinking about you this morning.hope you're ok?

[Stellarella123]

Hope all is ok today x

[Jux]

Are you OK, yummytummy?

[turbochildren]

Wondering the same as jux, are you ok Yummytummy?

[yummytummy]

hi just to say am ok-ish. just starting to feel really really depressed by it all. he is getting to me just by his presence and not done anything but the threat is always there. its just feeling on top of me atm. also my car has had to go to garage and may not be ready by tomorrow so may not be able to get to solicitor. its really crap. plus it will cost around £700 and had been trying to save for legal fees etc i will need soon. wish i had someone who could just hug me and look after me and sort it out.

[cjel]

yummy - if i was near enough I would hug you.Can you ring womans aid. I still don't think he should be in you home after what he did. Can you get advice about ways of making him leave.? ask garage if they can lend you curtesy car for tomorrow, quite often they will have one even if its not the same as the one your used to?legal fees don't have to be paid yet and then only when you have had the work done. I paid a few hundred up front then bit more few months later as they do the work , so you don't have to think about that today.xx

[Lueji]

Have a big hug anyway.

[BabyHMummy]

Hugs Huni Xxx