Bizarroville!! PoshBoys, Muppets, Surgeons, nurses, coffee addicts and RL - dating thread 27!

[lubeybooby]

Roll up roll up get yer dating chat here... all kinds of dating...

Online, RL, established, new, join in and blether away!

Sounds rather controlling/manipulative to me, tbh. Does your self esteem need his help Slightly?

What are you, slightlyconfused? Some sort of project?! Tell you what to wear and how to be...all with good intentions of course. Sounds controlling to me, sorry

Yes without a shadow of a doubt but not perhaps in the way he intends.

Watch, you will find somewhere, because there isn't another option. Totally shit to do that to you over the festive period stick an ad on gumtree in your area, wanted to rent ad, I found a few past houses that way. Things will be okay one way or another.

The clue to self esteem is in the word - self. You work on that yourself, not from other people. I would be telling him to take a hike but that's just me.

Confused - agree with rask, it does sound controlling. One surprise date is lovely but he should be asking you what you want to do. Also, all this after only a week. I don't like the sound of it

So....the Engineer lives really, really close (yay!), has asked to meet for coffee (yay!), and wants me to tell him something amazing about myself...(help??).

Sounds very controlling, slightly. Put your foot down now and don't just go along with it. Otherwise he'll prey on you.

I like a man to take the lead with wooing/chasing but that amount of instruction and demand is just wrong.

Thank you, you've all just confirmed what I have been thinking. I think if he's this bad in a week it will only get worse. Would it be wrong to go tomorrow anyway as I really really want to see the show?

Great news yoga but is that coffee or COFFEE?

Maybe its time to be a little more assertive then Slightly - why don't you decide on what to do for date 4 (and hopefully he'll agree without hesitation or attempting to control it himself) and say you'll take in turns to organise the dates. Its very nice receiving compliments but make sure he's not just doing it to get in your knickers good books!

Confused - I don't think it would be wrong to see him again but would probably be a good idea to speak up and see how he responds. It may be that he thought he was helping and will back off a little....but probably not.

And yes that is coffee not COFFEE as we haven't even met yet! Oh, he was also in the RAF. No idea if that's likely to be a good thing or not...
Meanwhile, i need to thing of something amazing to say about myself!

slightly - yeah that sounds really quite over the top.

Surprise dates are fine, but saying 'dress smart/casual' more specific than that is a bit of a red flag I think.

Saying 'we' will work on your self esteem is kind of patronising. Have you tried to respond with 'WE' will work on his condescension?

Confused, I agree with the others. I need to work on my self-esteem, and if I ever had a partner who would help me with that, then great. BUT I certainly wouldn't expect a partner to be suggesting it when I'd only known him for a week. Equally, I love surprise dates - but organising two so soon seems a bit OTT. And telling you what to wear seems a bit of a red flag (unless he means he's just going to tell you if the date's going to be, say, inside or outside). Perhaps go tomorrow if you really want to, but I'd be very wary and start taking control of things. Perhaps he's just trying to be nice ... but be careful.

Bant no I haven't but I'm stealing that one. By telling me what to wear I mean he told me to wear a dress tomorrowwhen I said I didn't own one he said this was the perfect reason to buy one then. To be fair when I said no he did say ok and to just dress smart.

Yoga your you that's amazing enough however if you'd rather not sound self centred have you got a party trick or have you done something your really proud of? What sort of a question is that anyway?

Surprise dates are fantastic but having no say over 4 out of 5 dates is too much. Hmm lots of food for thought.

Maybe he's going to do a Richard Gere and let you loose with his credit card on Rodeo Drive for Date 4 then

Rask I do believe that sounds like my idea of hell. In a bookshop though would be a different matter.

Well, I'm really proud of myself for surviving all the shit that's been thrown at me this last year but probably a bit soon to be dumping that on him. I could tell him about my tattoo which I'm feeling pretty awesome for having the courage to do and the fact that I drew it myself. Bant - male perspective pleeeassse?

Confused you said you didn't own a dress and he told you to buy one?

Hmm I wonder what he's got planned for you??

Slightly I agree it does seem a bit controlling. it may be he doesnt realise how he's coming across...I think you need to raise it with him and see what he says. I agree though you should be planning dates jointly or taking it in turns - LC decided on our last 2 dates (albeit with some input from me last night) and so has left it to me to sort out date 3 which fingers crossed will be him coming to my house tomorrow

Yoga I'm a bit lost on the tattoo thing myself. I don't have any, and I haven't gone out with anyone with any - obviously I have seen them though :)

Nurse has 7. She's only shown me one of them and said I'll have to find the rest myself in the future if things go well...

Some men love them, some not, but the fact that you designed it yourself is fairly cool. If you feel proud of it, which you should, then I think if he's a decent guy he'll be pretty damn impressed.

Sponge there'll be one or two of us (understatement) waiting for an update later tomorrow evening you realise...

Rask, I woke up at 3am last night and the first thing I did was check to see how Sponge's date had gone! I've seen so little action recently I have to live vicariously through the rest of you. (Though hopefully that may change soon!)

Surgeon sent another text asking 'busy?' So I said 'yes
Preparing for a meeting'

If he didn't want to know if I had dates then why ask?? And if he doesn't like it then its no loss to me if he loses interest

The fireman was really really skinny and a bit timid so I told him I didn't want to meet up again .. Date no 1 with candidate no 2 contracts manager tonight

watch I'm sure you'll get another place sorted

yoga when are you going for coffee??

Libby I'm in the 'these things happen when you least expect it' camp - GH and I got chatting in a very unplanned/unexpected way and then met up for a drink about 3 hours later! Actually my XH and I got together after I'd spent the entire evening suggesting girls he should ask for a dance (not knowing it was me he wanted to ask!) - that was the next 20 years of my life spoken for! Your next piece of the action could be just around the corner .

Aw shame about the fireman Kirsty. Hopefully date no 2 will be more appealing! Keep us posted.

I've said yes to coffee but haven't confirmed date & time yet (still communicating via POF and he's gone to work so I probably won't hear back til much later).