Bizarroville!! PoshBoys, Muppets, Surgeons, nurses, coffee addicts and RL - dating thread 27!

[lubeybooby]

Roll up roll up get yer dating chat here... all kinds of dating...

Online, RL, established, new, join in and blether away!

So I know this is a dating thread, but I'm watching return of the jedi on ITV and it just occurred to me. How do stormtroopers go to the toilet?

Duh! they wear nappies like fly boys. (everyone knows that)

Snoop - Very flattered but I think that would open a whole can of worms, very openly discussed from all sides, and it'd be doomed from the start :) Who would we have to complain to?

Also I realised I need to change my screen name. I chose it randomly but it occurred to me bantam = small and rooster = cockerel.

Unintentionally self-deprecating there. Or possibly deeply Freudian.

watch all crossed here too (except legs if Sirius is any cop)

I've a bit of a love/hate with cbt. Didn't like my counsellor that much (6 sessions via work - there's a limit to what you achieve in six sessions...) he asked me if my dad had sexually abused me on the 2nd session. . I think it's useful to have someone to chat things through with and gain perspective, but I don't necessarily think it's the absolute be all and end all. There's a lot you can do for yourself, but you need to be in the right place and have enough energy to actually see it through... It's a lot of lot of work.

Fingers and toes crossed for you watch - oh, and a hug too!

I'd already worked that bit out

But, frankly, your lack of stormtrooper knowledge has already cooled my ardour

fingers crossed for house tomorrow watch !

i second the councilling. tbh i could have done with some when my marriage broke up ( seeing as it was abusive)
i just needed to talk stuff through.
Ive got there myself, but its taken almost 4 years.....

my sister had councilling and it didnt help at all. i think it very much depends on who you get and if they are any good.
and if you want help.

i hope the house is ok.
i can see past most things, its literally round the corner. dd could stay in the same school ( so i would have to address the high school issue at some point in the future) i can afford the rent. it takes dogs. its slightly bigger than what im in now.
so the worse can be it needs paint. and has awful carpets or something.

im viewing it after work. so.... will let you know

Oh shit.

I got a reply.

'I'm sorry I haven't contacted you. I am feeling very low at the moment and that's why. I haven't met anyone else x'

right. so he feels bad. and that means he cant contact you and reply to your texts?

have you replied?
are you going to?

Hmm. 'feeling low' is no excuse for ignoring someone for days on end. He could have just said that

Whatever you do sponge, don't reply with anything like 'that's ok' because it isn't.

I haven't replied yet if at all

I wasnt expecting a reply, let alone one along those lines (if anything I was expecting more of a lost phone/been busy/ill/DC ill kind of thing).

I'm actually a bit lost for words.

Can I join? Just started dating after my ExDH and I finalised the divorce, he'd had an affair. I've just met a man, we've started dating, meeting etc; and I honestly feel so good about it. Been going four months now, so still early but definitely more serious. Sorry if I just posted in the middle of something!

me too!

that's a right arse of a message, it really is. I'm stumped.

Sponge - shit you must be going through the wringer right now.

What you've got to think is - do you want to be with someone who can make you feel this bad out of negligence? He made you feel great when with him, he made you feel shit without him when he went silent.

This is very very tough. Lots of people on here are going to say 'drop the wanker' I'm not - I'm going to say treat this as a lesson if you want to try and move forward (if that's the option here) - the rollercoaster here has huge peaks and troughs. Prepare for one if you're going to try for the other.

Everyone else - not contacting her for days is a shitty thing to do yes, and we all have our opinions. Can we wait for Sponge to ask for them please before jumping in with ours?

If he's properly low ie has depression or similar then it's quite possible that this is a valid reason. I have family with depression who won't answer phone/messages for days sometimes if they're down, just takes too much out of them. Not easy to have a relationship with someone like this, though.

Hello youwillobey - where did you meet him?

sponge it's just occured to me that the last person I got an arse of a message like that off was one of the biggest PITA heartaches I've ever experienced. We would have a great time and then he would vanish, but eventually text again with a message like that.

At one point he said he was 'going to the coast for a few days' to 'clear his head'

I later (6 months down the line) got it out of him that actually at that point in time, the real reason for his arsing about was that he was seeing his ex wifes best mate. And had been the whole time he was seeing me.

Sorry but because of that, it's ringing alarm bells.

snoop - it can't be nappies. They run around a lot, it would leak, and they'd go all rusty down their legs

and what OWW said too - if it's genuine depression that isn't exactly a great sign either.

sponge - i think uou have to think of yourself here. do you want to be with somone who can treat you like this? without explaining?
i mean, he could have just text that he was having a bad few days and would be in contact, couldnt he?

but, if you want to give him another chance, then you have to either accept that this is how he is and going forward itmight be very up and down, with you always waiting. OR, you decide thats not for you, and just leave it.

do you want to be with someone who can make you feel this bad out of negligence? He made you feel great when with him, he made you feel shit without him when he went silent.

I think, with the greatest love to sponge that is more about sponges attitude towards him, than his silence. I felt (hello! past tense.... great when I saw voldemort. I felt awful in the inevitable come-down of not seeing him - that was about me, not him.

I do maintain that our reactions to people are our reactions. We choose how we feel about the actions of others. That doesn't give them the excuse to act the cunt. That said.....

I absolutely second OWWs point. It is so, so difficult having any kind of relationship with people who suffer the lowest lows. I know. You want to be kind, you have to second guess when to back off, but worry that they don't know that you are thinking of them with affection. I am not saying kick someone to the curb if they are depressed. What I am saying is be careful and mindful of yourself.

What do you want to do sponge? Listen carefully to what he is telling you here and then do what is best for you.

bant. I note you got your opinion in before asking us to be mindful of ours... Just saying....

bant. They're catheterised. Although I have seen a few outside London comic-con with their helmets off having a fag. I doubt Lord Vader would be impressed.

I think I'd go with leaving it, as per watch's post above.

Thing is it's too early in proceedings to say something like 'sorry to hear that, however I can't see someone who thinks it's ok to ignore me, so if you fancy pulling your socks up we'll have another date, otherwise cheerybye tatah and farewell'

and it would be emotional suicide leading to months of being messed about to say 'ok then, no worries, let me know when you feel better'

so no option really other than to not reply at all or say 'ok, wishing you all the best. Bye'

Honestly I don't know yet what to make of it, let alone if he's being honest or not.

It might be all made up along the lines you say lubeyabout the guy you knew. In which case it's not a nice thing to lie about (in the same way I feel bad about ever saying the DC are ill if they're not if that makes sense). I couldn't have anything to do with someone who lied about something like that.

On the other hand I manage a chap who has been diagnosed with clinical depression. Absolutely lovely bloke, but some days he can't get out of bed. I know on those days he can't even speak to his DW, let alone anyone else.

I know so little about LC I can't say whether this is some form of depression (diagnosed or otherwise) or just a tryon. I do know he left a v successful job for a much less well paying one recently which could point towards the former, but may be entirely coincidental.

I'm on the fence tbh.

nah, you can't run with a catheter in, surely. (winces)

Maybe some form of shewee. Or just a hatch.