My husband has been having an affair and is leaving me

[DaydreamDolly]

I can't believe I'm writing this. 2 DD's youngest 6 months. Been going on 2 yrs on and off. He loves her. I'm devastated. What am I going to do? He told me at 10pm so I haven't told anyone in RL yet.

It is so hard Dolly. I was married for 23 yrs. it's like rewriting my whole life sometimes. However... Hold firm, your equilibrium will return. The one constant in this is you, a decent person and one those DC need.
My life is sooooooo much better now. Seemed so hard to believe I'd ever say that when facing marital collapse but its true

Your ex is feeling sorry for himself. Expect childish behaviour trying to make you confess you only want him back and you can fix your marriage. Once he has extracted that reassuring news (so he knows he's got a) backup plan for if this relationship isn't quite what he wants b) ego stroked) he'll bugger off to be with her. Keep your dignity.

Hi Dolly

Just checking in to say good morning and hope you managed to get some sleep.

You're doing amazingly.

In the first few days after my dh left me I spent the whole time in tears and actually turned up at his work in floods with his favourite coffee from costa trying to get some glimmer of the old him back. He came out , took the coffee and went back in again without even speaking to me . I was a mug. But I was so upset. I just wanted something anything from him. He was like a stranger to me.

You will get through this and life will be better I promise.

I feel so sad this morning. Keep thinking of all the times he stayed out overnight and he was with her. All the lies. And all the while I was running around looking after the house and children, washing his pants and cooking his tea, not to mention the 3 times a week sex he expected. At least now I can get a rest.

Another supporter here who's lived through the same thing. Ignore ignore ignore is the best policy and Izzys advice is spot on. Don't engage as hard as it will be. I found focusing on the babies and doing stuff like my nails and even stepping up my beauty routine helped take my mind off it. Plus had the extra effect of boosting my confidence so the next time he saw me I was NOT a crying mess but somewhat polished!! Think it confused the hell out of him...good! It will get easier as the stronger you get. You're doing great

Shaking my poms in support for you over in Aus Dolly your doing an amazing job.

Coming to this very late, sorry OP what a dreadful shock. Lots of wise advice upthread and I am glad you have very good rl support too. Your husband's an idiot, 12 years down the pan and 2 of those a sham, your baby only 6 months' old. You are doing marvellously, keep that fighting spirit - "I am tip-top" was brilliant.

thinking of you sweetheart hope you're ok and have someone with you

Translation: "You see despite what I have just done to you and our children, I'm a decent, caring man".

Arrogant, patronising, self-obsessed and delusional...

"I'm tip top" is probably the best response! Sounds like you are well on the way to developing a very thick skin indeed, and you'll need it. Am so pleased you have lots of support in real life too.

Dolly prepare yourself for more of this kind of stuff - when this happened to a dear friend of mine he told her:

"You deserve someone who will love you the way I no longer can"

Translation: "Despite being a selfish bastard I have persuaded myself I have your best interests at heart."

Best of all..."I have done a bad thing but that doesn't make me a bad person..."

It wasn't long before he realised it wouldn't be quite as easy as he thought - that's the point where they start blaming you for everything, so be prepared.

Do bog off ,Nikki

Who would want to stay married to this arse Nikki?

You have been reported, "Nikki" you stupid mare

Yes I've reported it too - it's blatant advertising.

Problem solved OP, all you need to do is call Nikki

Presumably the advertised website is affiliated to the Samantha Brick School of How To Keep Your Man No Matter What The Personal Cost

have namechanged btw

have had a look at the website, what a load of crock

If you want to do some reading, you would be far better off with Shirley Glass.

you can find happiness but will not do so by listening to anyone on here

Including you

Oh, I'm going to get flamed for this big style and probably have my post deleted

Yep! Byeeee!

its captain fucking caveman.

its captain fucking caveman.

Since 10pm tonight e.g.? So, that's in the future? Wow!

But assuming you meant last night, that includes the crap you're posting, Nikki.

Hope you are doing ok dolly you are amazing!

It doesn't seem as if ANY responses, rubbbish or otherwise, have been posted here since 10pm tonight but prescience is a gift given to few

As for your anticipated flaming, judging from what you've contributed to date, to my mind it would be more appropriate if you lit the match you are grasping in your sticky mitt and disappeared in a puff of smoke.

Or perhaps it would be put to better use to shed some light on your motives for posting on the thread of a woman who has been treated exceptionally badly by her adulterous husband, who chose to begin an affair with another woman shortly after the birth of their first child and who continued that affair through the conception, gestation, and birth of their second child until, some 6 months later, he announced without prior warning he was leaving her for the ow the following day.

Under the circumstances, I doubt that the OP will gain a great deal by ensuring she is perfectly coiffed and fragrant at all times and turning herself into the equivalent of a hostess trolley decked out in stockings and suspenders to win back and retain the love of a man who doesn't know the meaning of the word.

Saveyourrelationship? Seems to me you're contravening the Trades Description Act as what you're peddling is give up hope all ye who take heed of utter twaddle.

What izzyizin said. All of it.
Hope you are coping ok today dolly. What have your friends got planned for tonight?