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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

His mother should've swallowed

999 replies

LouP19 · 19/08/2012 21:11

Is this title too rude?!!!

I appreciate everyone warning caution. Trust me, I'm using this place to rant and rave and swear and all that,... at the moment I haven't done anything. And even if I do manage to locate him (with some first class help!) I might not necessarily do anything with that information just yet. But I would just like to know, that's all, instead of driving round looking for his car all the time,.... Just this knowledge will make me feel a bit more empowered.

All advice on here is very helpful - the calm, the practical, the hysterical, the funny, the 'been there done that', it's all amazing and I value all of it. Smile

OP posts:
RichTeaAreCrap · 21/08/2012 22:33

If a certain person disagrees with the post then please do us all a favour and leave it.

The OP has asked you to leave so why don't you? You are adding nothing at all to this thread apart from upsetting Lou.

Although you may think differently, you don't look big, or clever and are clearly lacking in attention of your own. Your posts read like a boring, broken record. If you have a point to make, report it to MNHQ rather than making your comments on here. You are acting like a teenage girl.

Mmmnotsure · 21/08/2012 22:33

Like everyone else, I have been thinking of you today. You are wise to tell us what you want: if you decide you don't want to discuss the pregnancy after this, then the posters on your thread should respect that decision.

I also think you have dealt with some of the posts (ok, poster) on here with extraordinarily good grace.

Finally, something that Pooh just said. I know you have been thinking about what lies ahead - who might lie ahead. The dating landscape will be different now from what it was back when you and your h got together. Assuming you would be interested in men of a similar age to you, after their mid-thirties many of them are likely to have children of their own already.

You have time to decide. I'm not an expert but I don't believe another few weeks will make much difference to the procedure.

I hope I am not posting out of turn. Take care.

Olympicnmix · 21/08/2012 22:33

You are very wise LouP and wishing you the best ((hug))

MNHQ
RebeccaMumsnet · 21/08/2012 22:34

Hi all,

Many thanks for all of the reports about this thread tonight.

Can we please ask folks to stop troll hunting on the thread.

We have no reason to believe that the OP is anything but genuine.
That said, we do advise all our members to be aware that not everyone on t'internet is who they say they are, and that, although we're awed daily by the astonishing support our members give each other through life's trickier twists and turns, we'd always caution anyone never to give more of themselves to another poster, emotionally or financially, than they can afford to spare.

You can read more on our Troll hunting policy here

tuckingfits · 21/08/2012 22:37

but I doubt it's Lou who is being reported surely,Rebecca? I know it wasn't Lou who I requested refrain or be restrained from posting on this thread. Surely there is only.one person who seems to doubting the OP? So she should naff off & stop reading if she thinks the OP is making it up...

FanOfSlippers · 21/08/2012 22:38

Portofino if you read this thread again at a later date, I don't think you'll feel positive about your posts. Particularly your most recent ones. I'm sure you're a much nicer person than they suggest.

Take a moment and ask yourself why this is all bothering you so much that you're continually attempting to derailing the thread. Who cares why someone thinks girls in X county use abortion as contraception in the context of this thread? It's irrelevant. Leave it all alone. You're right that there are people on this thread who seem to be enjoying the thrill of the OP's situation, and they should have a long think about what they're doing too.

But you just need to leave it alone .

  • OP, my very best wishes with everything. Your dignity is shining like a beacon through the haze of occasionally-strange comments in your threads.
RichTeaAreCrap · 21/08/2012 22:40

I doubt it was Lou tickingfits. There is only one poster who needs to leave this thread. I have seen similar behaviour on a few threads she has posted on.

A lot of people have reported her, despite her claims last night of all the pm's she has received Hmm to say she is right attention seeking more like

boredandrestless · 21/08/2012 22:40

Porto Shock [anger] Give it a rest!! The OP has told you that you are upsetting her and asked you not to post on her thread any more. Why not do that?

Lou I have just come across this thread, realised it wasn't the first and have read through what you have been going through. I am reeling just reading it but you are actually going through this and it must be an extremely stressful time (understatement of the year).

Whatever you decide regarding your pregnancy you will be supported by people on here and by your family and friends. How would you feel if you miscarried? You do not have to answer that on here - it's just a question for you to consider. It may help you figure out your gut feeling on the situation?

RichTeaAreCrap · 21/08/2012 22:40

Thanks Rebecca Smile

hattifattner · 21/08/2012 22:43

I think you need to separate your feelings about this baby from your feelings about your husband and his shennanigans.

Make your decision purely on whats right for you, not on how inconvenient it might be for him, and certainly not based on anything he says or does. You sound like you have family support should you choose to go along with this - equally, you may feel that career and independence is your path.

Think of a future with this child in it, think of a future without this child in it - which fits better? Which offers best scope for you to grow as a person? Dont let fear of the unknown draw you down a particular path.

SeymoreInOz · 21/08/2012 22:44

Lou, I'm so sorry you had such a bad experience today. You really are taking one blow after the other. BPAS is a good place to start.

You've got a bit of time on your side. I can understand why you would feel the need to speak to H about this, it's a huge decision to make on your own. But there's every chance when you do speak to him he will spout more manipulative, selfish, self absorbed rubbish. There are so many unknowns about the future, you could tie yourself in knots trying to work out what will happen if you make one decision or the other.

Take some time and go with your gut feeling. Whatever happens, it will be fine.

atosilis · 21/08/2012 22:46

MNHQ, have you got that message right?

BabylonPI · 21/08/2012 22:46

QuickLook so sorry Sad

OldLady you must have an iPhone as dodgy as mine Blush

Sucks clinic does indeed = such a clinic Blush

Twatty phone Sad

atosilis · 21/08/2012 22:47

Generic cut and paste job there I feel.

mysteriouslady · 21/08/2012 22:47

Its their standard reply to troll hunting, and its right, people should never get so involved they end up with their own fingers burned.

OldLadyKnowsNothing · 21/08/2012 22:50

Have an iPad, Babylon, but I switched off the autocorrect and now make my own fuck ups. Grin

atosilis · 21/08/2012 22:50

Not about the OP though, is it?

FairPhyllis · 21/08/2012 22:51

Hi Lou

I'm sorry you had such a rough day. It sounds grim. I don't really have any magic advice, but just wanted to say I was thinking of you today.

This thread is here solely for you to draw strength from. Please don't feel you have any obligation to answer any questions or even keep us updated. I know that any reasonable poster on here would hate for the thread to become a burden or a source of distress for you.

Hope you have had a nice evening cuddling your cats.

BabylonPI · 21/08/2012 22:52

OldLady

I make less fuch ups with autocorrect than if it was turned off Blush

BabylonPI · 21/08/2012 22:53

SIGH

fuch ups fuck ups!

mysteriouslady · 21/08/2012 22:53

The only bit about the OP is the bit where they say they have no reason to believe she is anything other than genuine, the rest is what HQ always say.

Houseofplain · 21/08/2012 22:54

Yes the message is right. Porto had done nothing but troll hunt since the off. Ohhhh so subtly. With digs, questions, nitpicking. But not out right calling troll. That's why they've posted that.

tuckingfits · 21/08/2012 22:54

I've only been on MN for a month or so,so I'm sorry if thus is a stupid question but is that a generic MNHQ message? There was one stating the same position on one of Lou's earlier threads which I.found odd.but accepted that some might be wary that Lou's life was disintegrating before her eyes. However,it seems very careless to.post a message enlightening the thread that Lou is genuine,when it hasn't been Lou causing the thread's attempted derailment & kerfuffle. Unless I've got it wrong about the MNHQ message...

OldLadyKnowsNothing · 21/08/2012 22:57

Yes, it's (all) the standard MN response to misdirected troll-hunting.

atosilis · 21/08/2012 22:57

I understand that message being about people suspecting that the OP is a troll. Never mind...

Horrible day Lou but hope tomorrow is better, then that tomorrow - ad infinitem.