His mother should've swallowed

[LouP19]

Is this title too rude?!!!

I appreciate everyone warning caution. Trust me, I'm using this place to rant and rave and swear and all that,... at the moment I haven't done anything. And even if I do manage to locate him (with some first class help!) I might not necessarily do anything with that information just yet. But I would just like to know, that's all, instead of driving round looking for his car all the time,.... Just this knowledge will make me feel a bit more empowered.

All advice on here is very helpful - the calm, the practical, the hysterical, the funny, the 'been there done that', it's all amazing and I value all of it.

I'd say he has TRIED to work away at your self-confidence. He probably had you pretty muddled for a while. I remember that feeling so well - the fuzzy sense of not knowing which way is up any more, because of how someone who's supposed to love you is acting. We believe it for a bit because we're nice, and think that if someone is expressing a strong view about our behaviour they must have some sort of point.

But you have bounced back like a super-weeble! You'll still have shit days (especially Sundays, they are a complete sod if one's life is anything less than scintillating) and yes I think you're right that there will be a grieving process later. But it was so amazing to read that post about how you were not accepting a single iota of blame for anything. He HASN'T broken you. Not even close. You are way, way stronger than he will ever be.

NotGeoff enjoy the ravioli, for some reason it is the food of the gods for me at the moment. I'll probably never ever eat it again after this is over,....! That and Laughing Cow Triangles, which I am also shoving in like there's no tomorrow. I am eating, but not really eating meals. But popping lots of multivitamins.

I do tend to get stronger in the evening. Mornings are just awful though.

Going to sign off now for hopefully some shut eye. I just want to thank you all so much for your help. I keep seeing some familiar names on here popping up regularly and it makes me feel wonderfully supported!!

yes, like Madbus, i think it is wonderful that you have the confidence and clarity of thought amidst all this crap to realise that you are not to blame, your sense of worth will get you through this. i spent ages soul searching and blaming myself, before i arrived where you are. so well done. and the title is perfect. because she bloody well should have (swallowed, that is!).

Night Lou and sleep well darlin' x x x x

Lou

Just a thought about the back door lock.

First he has to find out that you changed it, which if he is going to phone and agree a time in advance he won't find out - cause you / mum / friend can be there to let him in.

Second you have to get the keys cut, they don't always work you know.

Third shall I go on?

What type of lock? Some are really cheap and easy to change.

Hope you sleep well and good luck for the solicitors

sleep well Lou.

I think the thread title will draw a lot of curious spectators I'm afraid. Saying that, I think those of us who have followed you since your original OP will know the story and continue to support you from afar.

HAHAHAHHAHAHAA!!

I love the thread title - the minute I saw it, I knew. Shuddered at the vile image, yes, but I knew.

Honestly. Chutney. Teaspoons. A sponge. Some sausages and chicken fillets (at a guess). And perhaps a lampshade?

Good flipping grief.

Listen. If I was in your situation I'd either change those locks, or, to err on the side of the law, add other ones. And an alarm. Get the denby to your parents. Save anything of importance and significance on the pc onto an external hard drive or a USB key and get those to your parents too. I would bet your bottom dollar that he'd try and take that next. Once you've saved all your bits - then delete, delete, delete. And empty the trash bin. And all the other traceable stuff on there. Maybe get yourself a little cheapy laptop - and keep it on you. Just thinking aloud really...

Babylon, you and your DH take care and be careful Am not really advocating the moochy whizzing about thing, but as long as you are safe and careful .... Don't get all 'Rogue Trader'-ish!!

Sleep tight Lou x

Babylon - you go, girl!! All the best and hope you get what you want with the minimum of effort. Am so pleased that you are taking DH with you. I know from experience how hard it is to watch, and drive safely.

Just logged on and saw your title thread - I knew it was you instantly ha ha!!!!
Just a hand hold to keep you going x

PMSL @ rogue-traderish!!!

Once I have shoehorned my leathers on, I'll look more like a beached whale than Melinda Messenger, except she does Cowboy Builders, not rogue traders

Anyway I digress!! I like the anonymity of the bike and the fact that we can sit right on the arse of chutney twunts car and he won't have a bloody clue

It's also making DH feel quite important too
Plus with the bike, chutney twunt won't be able to skip through traffic and lose us

Ooooh I'm a little nervous though, I know how much this will make a difference for Lou

Hehe found you all, love the title :)

Well done Lou - another supporter checking in to the new thread.

Sleep well.

Great title!

And good luck to B-PI may the MN force be with you

"He doesnt appear to want to "get at" Lou, but to get her to do what he wants which is to abort her baby and quietly disappear, while he helps himself to her belongings"

Where exactly did you get this from? I think you need to have a proper discussion about stuff.

portofino please don't try to derail another thread.

Either support lou or don't, but by Christ stop shredding everyone's posts

I have read all your threads and just wanted to say good luck, keep going you are fab!

Holy cow Ivana if it's like today I'll squeak when I walk

I hope you have blue tooth helmets so you can keep in touch with each other and have your handy set of sleuthing phrases.

Lou,
I have made a discovery.
His parents mention that your marriage started to fall apart at the end of last year. I think I know why.

oneworldonechutney.eventbrite.com

You didn't take him to this event, did you?

Sorry. But it made me smile.
Thinking about you loads. I have even been making up songs in my head about his twuntery.
I rarely use the word hate, but I hate your chuntering twunt Lou!

Hello Lou,
Love the thread title, knew it was you straight away, if anyone complains just change it to "snowball".

I think your new solicitor will just give you the standard reply about changing the locks. Don't rush into any major legal undertakings yet.

This coming week will really be about life changing decisions for you, so put Chutney and his parents to the back of your mind as much as possible, and focus on what you want and need. Don't make any instant decisions, look at all your options, for instance find out about financial support such as Tax Credits.

Your Mum sounds lovely and caring and I am sure will be a tower of strength for you in difficult days.

Take care, sleep well.

Babylon, I am hardly shredding anyones's posts - I am pointing out, yet again, that people should post based on the evidence rather than their emotions, As you have changed your name to BabylonPI and are planning to stalk Lou's stbhx, I guess it is too late in your case.