His mother should've swallowed

[LouP19]

Is this title too rude?!!!

I appreciate everyone warning caution. Trust me, I'm using this place to rant and rave and swear and all that,... at the moment I haven't done anything. And even if I do manage to locate him (with some first class help!) I might not necessarily do anything with that information just yet. But I would just like to know, that's all, instead of driving round looking for his car all the time,.... Just this knowledge will make me feel a bit more empowered.

All advice on here is very helpful - the calm, the practical, the hysterical, the funny, the 'been there done that', it's all amazing and I value all of it.

I've been following your story, and rooting for you every inch of the way.

Just delurking to say Best Fucking Thread Title Evah.

As you were...

Title is perfect.

On bad days, it will bring a smile to your face. :)

Lou I changed my locks when my Ex said he was coming to get the furniture and guess what..nothing happened..no police...no courts. Nothing and that was after he ranted about how I could not do that.

Do you honestly think he is going to waste money over something like that and if he does just give him a key right before it gets to court.

Look after your sanity and just get them changed.

Checking in - I like the title!!!

Hi LouP,

Like the new title.

Keep strong.

Good luck with next week.

I'd be inclined to change the lock then forget to give him a new key.

Haha that title

That title is so irresistible, we're going to get loads of new posters now saying "what? what's going on here? who's mother should've swallowed? why are you all talking about chutney?"

Delurking (having read all three earlier threads) to say the title is utterly perfect. Somehow I think the chutney muncher would be disgusted. which makes it even better.

Found you again -

'I just can't get out of my head his Mum's comment 'There have been problems in the marriage since late last year'. Well, yes!!! And I wonder why?!!!!!

The injustice of that comment is infuriating. It's such bollocks!'

Lou, in order to keep such maddening statements from driving you insane, you need to think up some mantra to repeat to yourself when they pop into your head. I had an awful time with exMIL's mind fuckery on a continuous loop in my brain for several weeks after one particular phone call, and the answer was not to ever engage her in any sort of conversation if she contacted me again - to keep all replies short and non-committal, not to ever contact her for any reason, and not to allow my mum to contact her. I also made a conscious effort to say to myself, 'I'm sorry she feels that way' when I found her words repeating themselves in my head.

The result was a final weird phone conversation where exMIL hinted that she was at death's door and that this would be the last time we spoke. I said, 'well, thank you for your call' at the end. I haven't heard from her since and it has been about five years now.

I'm in the "change the locks and forget to give him a spare" camp. Either that or tell him he will have to collect the spare from your parents house. I'm not sure he has the balls to face them

Just read the older thread - he took car washing bucket and sponge???

Hi lou love your title

Oh Ivana, how can you put that image in akk of our heads and then ask Lou if she's eating and drinking??

*all not akk!

Yes, scan Tuesday. Haven't even thought about that, and trying not to. Sorry if the title offends, don't want to do that.

My Mum said something interesting to me tonight. She said that over the last few months it was very clear that I didn't respect him anymore. Apparently the way I spoke about him I always sounded fed up and frustrated with him.

Hmmm, she's right of course. It has been clear I've been a low priority for a while and whenever he did do something with me I was constantly being told how good he was to me. He has really worked away at my self confidence over the last few months,......

Lou, love the thread title. Perhaps he took the bucket and sponge to clean himself up after smothering himself in chutney?

I thought of you when I went shopping yesterday as I bought some tinned (veggie) ravioli. I will toast you with it when I open it.

Agree that there is a wealth (or even a glut?) of advice here. You feel free to carry on ranting/swearing/imagining a world where a tomato can grow free from fear of being made into chutney.
:)

Found you . Love the title

You have retained your sense of humour throughout and been very strong and brave. It will get worse before it gets better, but the only way is up!

lou you sound stronger and braver by they day. I'm glad your house decorating day went well, and I hope your new bedding is snuggly.
I'm rubbish with advice but just wanted to say I think of you a lot (not in a stalker way, in a admiration way)

Bloody brilliant title. I had just turned laptop on and scanned threads, Almost choked on my coffee when l realised this was your new one LouP

Onwards and upwards

Just read about what your mum said about not respecting him. My mum said something similar that she remembers me making a comment about going out to a party and not wanting to stand in a corner with him all night. I said something like. - I've had enough of holding his hand all night, I'm going to talk to people and sod him"

He was irritating me and I didn't know why... , I was just fed up with him being so antisocial...

Good luck with the detective work, I hope that Bsbylon finds out something useful for you.

Yes good luck to BabylonPI tomorrow. Hopefully her findings will clarify things for you.

Thank you