His mother should've swallowed

[LouP19]

Is this title too rude?!!!

I appreciate everyone warning caution. Trust me, I'm using this place to rant and rave and swear and all that,... at the moment I haven't done anything. And even if I do manage to locate him (with some first class help!) I might not necessarily do anything with that information just yet. But I would just like to know, that's all, instead of driving round looking for his car all the time,.... Just this knowledge will make me feel a bit more empowered.

All advice on here is very helpful - the calm, the practical, the hysterical, the funny, the 'been there done that', it's all amazing and I value all of it.

Hi Lou, glad I found your new thread. You are so strong and amazing, some of your comments on thread 3 are an example for all women.
Good luck will the new solicitor, locks etc, and good luck to Babylon PI too!

Love the new thread title! Lots of important and good things are going to happen in this one!

He's now texted me to say 'I need to speak to you'. He we go again,........ ARRRGGHHH!

He's panicking I'm going to keep the baby.

Ignore him a d concentrate on what you want to do for you

He needs to speak to you but you dont need to speak to him, so dont.

"Everything is in the hands of my legal team who I am sure will contact you in due course, do not contact me again."

Your thread title! It made me laugh and I KNEW it was you straight away

I agree with all the advice about locks and keys. So gad you are doing it, well done.

And I know how you feel about mornings. I just used to cry and be pathetic til about 2pm, then find my spark, and have to cram all the phone calls and emails into the last bit of the working day. It does pass though. It's been nearly a year and I wake up and drink as much tea as I like and watch the tv I like and its fine. You will smile in the mornings again, I promise.

You are being so brave, keep slogging on. And good luck with the new solicitor and with finding out the twunts address. Oh how I would love a picture of his face when he gets a solicitors letter, from you, at his Secret Chutney Club Hideout. Go BabylonPI

Much love Lou x

He's just texted again and said he wants to be at the scan. No prompting from me, he's just texted without me replying.

What a FUCKWIT. Jesus, he is something else. I am so so so so sorry about my appalling language, there is no excuse, I'm not normally like this. But he is screwed in the fucking head. WEIRDO,.......

Ignore!Please.

It will drive him nuts (GOOD) and he has no new information for you. This is the start of you being control. Enjoy ignoring him. The teaspoon thieving bucket of chutney weirdo.

He's panicking I'm going to keep the baby.

You bet he is! He's currently looking at supporting you and a baby until it turns at least 18 on top of the new little family he's creating with OW ... I'm sure it's giving him serious palpitations. He abandoned you in the hope you'd divorce him quickly and he could move on - you being pregnant as well is about as inconvenient for him as it could possibly be!

Just ignore his latest text. Does he know when/where you appt is? If so, I'd try and change the time if you can.

Morning Lou,
Love the thread title, I knew it'd be you as soon as I saw it!
New week, new locks, new solicitor. Excellent.
As far as "I need to speak to you" goes, phhht. Fuck him, let him stew.

Have a good day x x

Scan scmann. He doesn't get to decide, does he?

I'm with sky - please ignore the text. Whatever he wants to say to you, it can only be a headfuck. You don't need it, whatever it is. I am so looking forward to your being able to instruct your solicitor to send post to the address provided by BabylonPI. I hate your prick of a H, he has no right to make off with the property of the marriage even if he thinks he owns particular items. He is pathetic. Please just carry on doing things that are for your own good only.

Do not reply to the texts.

Stay in control

Cor LouP I wish I was 36 again. Still cannot quite believe what a twunt chutney is being. I wld defo get the locks changed for your peace of mind and worry about the consequences later, if and when he decides to make an issue of it. Can u change the date of the scan ? And second the making of a list of missing items

Ignore him and phone the hospital now to warn them you want him kept out of the building, god forbid he should turn up. Tell them you are being intimidated by him.

See if you can change the scan time, Lou. He knows when it is, doesn't he? So even if you say, no don't come, he could still turn up.

The way he just keeps dipping in and out of your life, without any empathy, is mind-boggling.

Hell no. Please change the time and date of your scan honey, you know that he will turn up, that's effectively what he is saying to you. The rotten entitled bastard. Just change the scan time and IGNORE. Please.

To go one step further - I think he is COUNTING on you aborting this baby to get him out of the horrible mess he's in. If you terminate he doesn't have to tell OW that you two were TTC or that you succeeded. And he won't have to support you or be financially responsible for you once the divorce has gone through. He probably accepts that you're in line for a financial settlement from him (because you work PT and he encouraged you to do so), but once he's paid you off he'll be high and dry.

Yep phone and change the appt and tell them why.....you do not want him there, he's just a headfuck and you don't need that at the moment.

Does he only know the date/time of the scan by reading your private letters? If he admits to this knowledge, then surely will work against him if he objects to you changing the locks?

Agree with ignoring him, he HATES that! And see if you can change scan appointment.....

I would hope that if you ring the hospital and explain why you need to change the scan time - STBXH stalking you - they would do their their best to accommodate a change. I have no idea actually, but I certainly hope they would. They should, surely?

Agree, change appointment and ignore text

Lou, take a taxi to the door of the hospital. He may be waiting for you in the car park or looking for your parents' car. Alert the hospital staff immediately so that he can be removed if necessary. Explain the risk he poses and ask if there is a private waiting area that you can use.

Morning Lou x
I'm another who.is finally delurking. I've read all your threads from the beginning. This one was easy to find! Love the title.

I've not written before because you get such great advice from everyone else and I've never really known what to say.

You are an inspiration. Your ex chunt really doesn't deserve you. This must all be agonizing for you but I bet in a year or two when you are happy with someone new who is not a chunt,.you'll be glad the chutney thief has gone.

I can't believe he wants to.infiltrate your scan. He really is a fucker. If he saw the letter do you think he will turn up? I know they won't let him into the room but even seeing him in that situation is terrible for you.

I think.I'd change my scan time and not reply to his text (I'd be so.tempted to give it to.him all guns blazing but clearly no contact rattles him.much more).

Sure the others will say better things than me but I wanted to let you know I'm thinking of you.

I also want to say good luck Babylon pi! X