In shock

[stookiesackhouse]

Found out tonight that my DP of over three years bought a house with and has been living with another woman since Feb.They have been together for two years.

I only found out through my mum talking to her colleague and it turns out she knows DP.

He has been leading a double life. To split the time between us he has used his DF's cancer, his asthma, training courses, and his MH issues as excuses for why he needed to be away from home.

I am nearly 35, we had planned on having a family. However, our sex life was dire due to his MH which I was supporting him with.

I feel shell shocked and humiliated :-(

I'm so glad you have such an amazing mum to help you through this. I bet she's gotten really mama bear on this one!!!

Just set her loose on him in a padded room for a few hours.

What he's done is brutal.

One minute you're in the bubble believing that this man is your past, present, and future, and the next you're having to get your brain around the fact that he's played you like a violin for years.

Going cold turkey cleanses your body of drugs in the fastest possible time. Cleansing your mind of the desire for another fix takes considerably longer.

Your forthcoming holiday will be an opportunity for you to step out of the usual routine and please yourself for a while.

It may be scary to venture out alone but it will also be liberating.

You'll deal with this in your usual quietly efficient manner by taking it one day at a time.

He and his family have circled the wagons gone into damage limitation mode and appear to erroneously believe that bluff and bluster attack is the best form of defence. What a bunch of prize twats. All they've done is prove that the apple didn't fall far from the tree.

You have been painted 50 shades of black and your good name has no doubt been defamed in the process. I smell blood - and it sure ain't yours, honey.

They've declared war? No problem. We'll bring it on and I can assure you that you'll piss him out of the water with both hands tied behind your back.

Stuffed with lies horror stories about your demonic possessiveness backed up by his kin, the ow is trembling in her shoes for fear of physical attack from you thus giving him opportunity to act the part of St George vanquishing the dragon while protecting the fair maiden.

So we'll let her tremble and let them lie because revenge is always a dish best eaten cold.

We'll lull them into a false sense of security and let them think their hollow threats have seen you off. Give it a few weeks and we will go on the offensive in a clinically detached manner that will pull the rug from under their feet not give them a legal leg to stand on.

These twunts are tediously predictable and it will be my pleasure to assist you in despatching him to the hell he deserves.

For those who have been supporting me on this thread, I would just like to confirm I have had zero contact with xdp since the bombshell was dropped on me on Tuesday.

I think that is an important piece of information to give at this point.

I think his issues could be far more serious than I even realised :-(

The most obvious point is that his family raised him stookie and are more than likely to have a lot to do with why he is so messed up!

Oh also telling other people lies about you so that they will bother you counts as harassment btw and you may be able to have the police warn them not to get involved in harassing you on his behalf.

Hope you're ok OP. That last post clearly means events have taken another twist somehow.

Charlie, for a while I thought the cheating thread OP was my XDP and was painting me as the other woman. There are some scary similarities in there.

I nearly had a coronary. Turns out it isn't.

The irrefutable fact that you've had no contact with him since you discovered the extent of his duplicity on Tuesday is not in dispute here, nor should it be in rl.

It should be patently obvious to all that this immoral turd is also an abject coward who has no intention of providing any further explanation as to why he chose to callously and calculatedly deceive the woman who has loved and supported him for the past 3 years and who he led to believe that she was in a monogamous relationship with him.

n his frantic efforts to persuade the ow that he is enitrely blameless he will not scruple to defame you, but such is the way of those for whom lying is a lifestyle choice and who have no sensibility of the feelings of others.

Had it been she who'd discovered she'd been taken for a mug his relationship with you and thrown him out on his ear, he'd have trashed her good name in the same manner that he has undoubtedly rubbished yours.

On his own he's an ineffective piece of gobshite,, but the fact that he's got his family on board is indication that you should proceed with extreme caution because it's unlikely there will be any limit to the lies they are prepared to tell to keep him in the sinecure of his choice, namely, mortgaged to with the ow.

I thought of you when I read that thread too. (That OP is such an idiot.)

Am mostly lurking here but think you are fab, and hoping at this point after your last posts that you are ok.

Don't hesitate to involve police if you are worried for your safety.

Has something happened?

Nothing has happened. I just got into a flap thinking the OP confessing to cheating on here was my XDP but he wasn't.

Today I sent some more emails to XDP's family (ones I haven't already contacted). Tomorrow I am going to compose letter to ow.

Once that is delivered to her I am going to walk forward (with my shaky legs) and never look back :(

I am going to stay off work next week, get sorted for my holiday - and by the time I return I am hoping I feel a little better.

My life as I knew it was blown apart on Tuesday. It's still early days but I can see a tiny light at the end of the tunnel.

I am forcing myself to go out for a couple of drinks tonight with friends (even though I don't feel well but I think it might do me good) then I will stay at home (I have been at the 'rents since Tue) and spend some time with our my kitten.

Hope you are all enjoying a weekend in the sun :)

You are doing so well. Hope your holiday is just what the doctor ordered.

Thanks Math :-)

I've just read your thread, I think you are handling it all amazingly well and I really hope you enjoy your holiday.

Go Stookie... you keep your chin up.
Your handling this amazingly. Don't think I could have been as calm, I'd have spoken to the ow already !! Your a better person than me

i admire your strength and dignity Stookie, i hope you have a lovely holiday and i'm convinced that there is a lovely future ahead of you.

Delurkung to wish you a fab holiday

Just wanted to let you know you aren' t the only one...
I was with my ex for nearly 6 yrs, most of which it turned out he was in a relationship and living with someone else. It came to a head when she arrived on my doorstop, claiming she had just found out about me. We confronted him and he was pathetic. I left my relationship with over 30k of debt, mostly on credit cards in my name spent on a second card. It appears I paid for holidays to Canada skiing, new York too while i sat home lonely. I am only just clearing my debt nearly 8 years later but I Didn't let him ruin me. I am married with two small children and life is better than I ever thought it would be. Pm me if you want to chat.x

Bluefp, that is awful! :(

But great that you came good in the end! :)

I an feeling exhausted with it all today. But I will take you up on the pm offer when I am feeling a little stronger :) thanks so much.

ive got a galaxy. if he deleted them individually u cant get them if he jst deleted them from the screen where u see all msgs u should be able to get them back by creating a new msg to him ... i think... cos my old msgs reappear sometimes.

Anytime. Have a good rest. Very few of my friends know the truth and none of my family but I found it very therapeutic telling strangers what had happened. Mostly they were completely astounded, but I think it really helped me get it off my chest. At first I felt such a mug but gradually I came to realise that he was completely twisted, very clever and very systematic in his deception. I will explain all sometime! Have a lovely holiday.x

In the long run, OP, you'll see that this was all for the best, finding out the way you did: just imagine having kids with this weasel and then having to explain to the poor little mites at some point that "Daddy has gone to his other family."

Let this epic twat run off to his fancy piece, then, and wish her joy of him. Poor cow!

As for you, Dr Cailleach prescribes the traditional boatload of gin (or other spirit of your choice.) Then, a ceremonial garden bonfire of anything belonging to WeaselTwat that is still in your house is generally recommended - invite the neighbours and friends to dance around the burning mess and make a party of it.

Wishing you the best.

x

C

What a fucking cunt, OP. You are so much better off without him. Hope you have a lovely holiday.

My H left me for OW in June, after 15 years together. I had no inkling anything was up, so it was a complete bolt from the blue. I found out this weekend he will officially move in with her in October, but has actually been living with her since he left me. And he has the cheek to lie and say he was only seeing her for three months before he left me. Yeah, right.

Hi Stookie, just catching up.
You're doing so well. Stay strong and keep your head held high.
Hope you have a lovely holiday, take care xx