In shock

[stookiesackhouse]

Found out tonight that my DP of over three years bought a house with and has been living with another woman since Feb.They have been together for two years.

I only found out through my mum talking to her colleague and it turns out she knows DP.

He has been leading a double life. To split the time between us he has used his DF's cancer, his asthma, training courses, and his MH issues as excuses for why he needed to be away from home.

I am nearly 35, we had planned on having a family. However, our sex life was dire due to his MH which I was supporting him with.

I feel shell shocked and humiliated :-(

How awful. I found out 2 years into a relationship that my lovely partner had shacked up with a girl WITH THE SAME NAME AS ME. It was my friend that found out first and told me. It was devastating and humiliating at the time but I thank my lucky stars for the near miss.

Me too Izzy :-(

He was never violent, didn't take money from me.

It's quite a complex picture around his MH problems but now I am thinking they were mainly concocted :-(

Aw jeez, he's unfuckingbelieveable in every fucking way.

(((hugs))) honey, and have a to settle you after this horrendous shock to your system.

He's either psycho or, most probably given his level of calculated deceit, saner than you and I put together.

Even so, in my book he needs sectioning with a rusty cheesewire

Fuck. Just...Jesus fucking Christ. I have no idea what to say, other than you're a stronger woman than I!!!!

What can you do when you suffer the slings of outrageous fortune, honey?

You just gotta laugh. And one day, in the not too distant future, you'll find the laughs don't sound quite so hollow and he's revealed as the utter buffoon he is. Butt of all jokes, master of none.

hang on to emails and pictures though. You might need them in case you find yourself defending your position to an outraged wife.

Cheers, Sophy. It'll be my pleasure. Any volunteers to hold the other end of the wire - and don't all rush to hold him down 'cos I'm planning to string him up...

Omigod. Is it possible he's married the ow?

Thanks for support, it's helping :-)

He dropped on me tonight he has been diagnosed with multiple personality disorder. This is about the eighth MH he has landed on me and he claims, the reason behind his deceit.

I wish I was on laptop, would be able to write more coherently!

I told him he carried out this deceit with a completely sound mind. Fucking bastard :-(

Multiple pd? How many ows has he got?

Reason behind his deceit my arse. I so hope your dps gave his arse a good kicking.

My DF tried :-( but I stopped him. My DF is very gentle natured but was so livid.

He isn't married to her. And I was on the scene first. His DM confirmed that.

It's so weird but I will feel terrible ruining his new set up. I don't want to hurt him as pathetic as that sounds.

I really did love him. :-(

When I think about it tho, he has avoided having his photo taken as much as poss over the past year.

I do have some evidence though - a soppy note he left me a couple of days ago and a recent pic of me and him at a wedding where I was bridesmaid plus all the neighbours etc etc etc

You don't need 'evidence', honey. Unlike his, your word in this matter can be relied on as if it were gospel and if the ow doesn't rely on it, then more fool her.

It's so weird but I will feel terrible ruining his new set up. I don't want to hurt him as pathetic as that sounds.

I totally get that. I felt really really bad for the other Sophy, even though I was in a relationship first with him. I felt like I had been made into a OW completely unknown to me.

my ex did the photo avoidance thing too. Would go mental if he was tagged on facebook.

hang on to the 'evidence'.If nothing else, you can tell him you are posting it to her if he starts getting lairy about his half-a-house.

Izzy, evidence was exactly what I needed! (but obviously OP is a different story). Projecting. Sorry.

That happened to a very dear relative of mine, Sophy. Her dh ran off with her best friend who had the same christian name as my lovely relative.

It became something of a family joke that of course she didn't know what he was up to - if he'd called out the ow's name in bed his sleep, she wouldn't have thought anything of it.

I think the most hurtful thing has been the lack of sex - again I tried to support him with this and put my own needs last - because he said it was related to his issues.

All the while shagging OW :-(

The ow deserves to know. Maybe his folks would care to enlighten her? Or perhaps your folks could have a word with hers?

What's really needed here is a town crier or a van and a loudhailer... oyez, oyez, twunt alert...

yep. same joke here too :)

explained the confusion in his voice when I would call and say it's Sophy... and he would chat about something completely random for about 60 seconds and then say, "sorry, who am I speaking to?"

Head firmly in sand at the time. I saw nothing.

Could be he couldn't get it up with her either, stookie.

But you shouldn't worry about 'evidence' because when your head goes on the pillow at night your conscience is clear.

If you know the truth, it really doesn't matter what other people think.

I will tell her. I am going to make him sweat for a week first though.

I actually can't believe he bought a house with her. We have been talking about getting a house with a nice garden etc.

I will hit the sack now, took a sleeping tablet.

Night ladies.

Sleep well, honey - catch you later.

Keep strong.....get a good nights sleep