please please help

[LouP19]

I have come home and my husband has moved out all of his belongings. Everything, even the garage is clear. He dropped me off after work and said he had to go and play cricket and needed some time on his own. I was distraught and said we needed to talk. Things haven't been right for a few weeks, he has denied somebody else.

All of his belongings are gone. I am shaking. No one knows where he has gone. Married 5 years, no kids. Please please help.

Oh my goodness how shocking! Have you tried calling? Call his family? Call your friends or family for support x

I am so sorry. What a massive shock after 5 years. Is there anyone who can sit with you, I don't think you should be alone.

Well Id be gobsmacked if he packed his bags to go to his mums.....sounds like he's had somewhere sorted for months, and someone.

I'm sorry. Get straight to a solicitor tomorrow if poss. Tie up ALL bank accounts now online if poss.

Oh no...so sorry

I am afraid you need to be prepared that there is somebody else as this came out of the blue. You are bound to be shocked - he has been planning this for a while so you will need time to process this.

Get real life support.

Don't stay there alone, please call someone in RL and go to their house - your mum, a friend, the neighbour, whatever you feel you can do. But do not sit in your empty house in shock - no matter how awful your relationship may or may not have have been recently, it is absolutely unforgivable of him to have behaved like this, and you did not deserve it! We'll hold your hand until you have someone in RL to do it for us :( HUG

You must be so shocked

Call someone to come around and be with you, mum, sibling or close friend?

He is streets ahead of you in having organised this. You need to get onto who ever you can tonight and everyone tomorrow if you share finances to protect what is yours plus everything else.

Look after yourself /hugs

What an absolute cowardly bastard

Thank you. He took the day off to 'paint the fence' but he has systematically cleared out everything. Yesterday I got a massive bunch of flowers and was told how special I was. I just don't know what to do. My Mum is here, I've spoken to his family who are appalled, but had no idea.

I cannot stop shaking.

Oh god sweety, how bloody awful.
I'm another who thinks it wise for you to call someone. Don't be alone right now, get some support if that's possible for you.

It sounds like he has decided he needs more than "some time on his own". A holdall with enough clothes for a few days would have sufficed, not all his stuff.

A few weeks, you say things haven't been right? what do you mean (of course if you want to tell) but the lovely ladies (and men) on here will be more help to you knowing the full story.
Try and stay calm and if you haven't done so already, try and call him. You deserve an explanation to this selfish and cowardly action.
Stay strong and I hope you get some answers xx

Can I add if things have not been good for a while and you have asked if there is another person...

Even though he said no please get to an STI clinic as soon as possible. Just in case.

Someone capable of looking you in the eyes every day while organising this and sending you a bunch of flowers, telling you how special you are is not going to find it hard to lie if they have met someone else!

He has been distant for the last 6 or so weeks, I've said that I felt like I wasn't a priority. And the more I asked about this the more he pushed me away. I had suspected someone else, but he has denied it. To be honest I'd be very doubtful if that 'someone else' would want ALL his shit (he has taken his life with him), am maybe thinking (hoping) he's rented a flat or something.

Totally in shock, I cannot tell you how I feel right now.

Have a sweet cup of tea for the shock. I'm so sorry, after 5 years you deserve an explanation

His mobiles are off. His parents have tried to call him. And last night he held me in bed and said he loved me.

Can you log onto your banks op? If they are joint report the cards stolen ASAP. Don't let him clear the money out too....

Joint bank account? Please get to it before he does

Did he seem depressed?

Oh you poor, poor woman. And what a cowardly dick this man is. I know you're in shock, and very upset, but please try and put yourself first now. Make sure you have lots of people around you, that you eat and sleep, and be prepared to learn some painful truths. But remember: you can and will get through this.

No joint bank account. Yesterday he asked me to pay for a joint holiday we'd got booked in Sept, so I transferred him my half. So he got money from me for a holiday he never intended to take. I can't stop shaking.

what a fucking arsehole!!

So sorry you are going through this Lou. But as he's taken all his stuff he must have a 'proper' place to take it to. I don't think he's dossing at a mates.

Not knowing why he left is the worst thing. He owes you an explination.
Be brave honey. Its going to be very painful, but trust that whatever happens you will end up on the right path.

I thought he was a complete and utter bastard before I read he's taken your money for a holiday he never intended to go on! The fucking arsehole!

Cowardly, awful, horrible excuse for a man. So sorry Lou.

I'm nearly 36, we were trying for a family. I'm devastated. How could he do this?