please please help

[LouP19]

I have come home and my husband has moved out all of his belongings. Everything, even the garage is clear. He dropped me off after work and said he had to go and play cricket and needed some time on his own. I was distraught and said we needed to talk. Things haven't been right for a few weeks, he has denied somebody else.

All of his belongings are gone. I am shaking. No one knows where he has gone. Married 5 years, no kids. Please please help.

Look, no decisions need to be made right now. Get your health in order and just let the knowledge sink in for a while. Do NOT tell Chuntney at the moment.
What wil be, will be. See how you feel in a week or two.

We're going to need a new thread shortly. Any suggestions for a good title?

[House-keeping post: do we need a new thread when this gets to 1000 posts? Not sure of the etiquette?]

Ah you poor poor love - it never rains but it pours doesn't it?

Just don't rush into anything - you have talked a lot about having a baby on this thread. t may not be as you planned it but you have proved how strong you are and how much you can cope with.

don't tell cuntbadger anything until you've got your head a bit more sorted. Just take some time to think. If you want this baby you can do it, you don't need him. If you don't want the baby then that's for you to decide, but don't let it be just because of what he's done or fears of being alone. Sorry if that sounds insensitive. This is a massive shock, right on the heels of the biggest shock of your life. Take some time.
On a side note, there are ADs you can take in pg, don't know about valium and I was effectivel on zero calories mos of my pg, thanks to vomming them all up due to hyperemesis. If you want this baby you can do it, you just need to take some time, breathe.
Thinking about you. xx

x-post clam

I think the word "chutney" should definitely be involved.

It must have chutney in the title.

Lou, hope you get some reassurance from the Doc this afternoon.

Dear Lou,
Don't rush into any decisions, take time to consider all your options. You have been on an emotional rollercoaster for a week now, take some quiet time for yourself. Call work and tell them you are ill, and are taking time off.
Take care.

Very few people want to have a baby on their own. But an awful lot do it and they make a good fist of it. You don't need to decide any of this right now. Did the nurse tell you how far along you are?

I totally understand where your gut instinct is coming from tbh. But clam & rightfedup are right, unbelievably this is only one of the decisions on the ridiculously long list you're facing, and you don't have to decide anything right away. It's not (I think) quite as urgent as continuing to process the general shock of what happened last week, as that will equip you better to consider what to do about pregnancy.

I think I already mentioned, my xh left when I was pregnant. It wasn't the ideal start but it's turned out fine. Ds now 8, happy and healthy and I don't regret having him for a second. To be very honest, it's been a hell of a lot easier doing it by myself than tippy-toeing around xh's ego and mood-swings would have been. Try not to feel too responsible for what's happening in your body at the moment - I lost 2 babies whilst 'happily' (well, as far as I knew anyway!) married but ds was clearly a tough little bugger and nothing his father did was going to shake him out of me. In my experience, the babies who are going to make it, make it whatever. Look after yourself as well as you can and remember that that is all you can do - follow advice to the best of your ability - yes: work miracles - no.

Is it very wrong of me to admit to feeling a certain sense of smug satisfaction when chutney-man's smug little balloon is finally popped? Bless him, there he is, smugly imagining how you're just going to roll over, let him have 50% of everything (plus anything else he feels entitled to!) and quietly disappear when actually, he's just put himself right at the bottom of the queue as far as the finances are concerned.

You should have seem my xh's face when the judge told him to put up and shut up, the baby and I came first and he'd just have to lump it and bugger off with whatever was left AFTER we'd been provided for. Snigger!

Lou,

Hope you are being looked after.

"So long, Chutneyfucker, I'm preserving my dignity"

Am I the only one thinking Rightfedups post is a bit insensitive? The one with the new thread title suggestion?

Sorry but I think that's rather out of order and on that basis alone have reported

OMG Lou! My last post was posted after yours, but it cross posted, I hadnt read your post.

First - CONGRATULATIONS!! - and second - Im sure this must be a massive shock to you. Please just look after yourself, put the baby first. As others have stated, it puts a whole new light on everything.

Do not rush into any decisions about anything now. You need to talk to chocoraisin and I will hunt her down for you!

I thought a chemical pregnancy (hate that term, rather early loss) means the egg didn't attach and so a period happens, did you have a bleed at all?

Yes i thought that too Babylon, quite catty. Maybe it wasnt meant to sound that way but that's how I read it.

Oh Lou! What a rollercoaster you are on. I am just here to add my support and very best wishes

LouP19... It's been quite a week, and not even a week yet.
Take care, take your time. Just breathe.

Lou, good luck with whatever you decide. Personally I don't think I could go through with seeing chutneyfuck all the time due to custody of child etc and would want a clean break but that is just my pov. Good luck with talking to dr x

Is someone able to do a new thread and link them together? I haven't a bloody clue from my phone

I think it does need chutney somewhere in there, but let's be sensitive to Lou's circumstances too huh? X

First things first. Please don't make any decisions while your emotions are all over the place. This is shock after shock for you and you need weeks to process this.

You have been trying to get pregnant for how long? Months? Years? This is a GOOD thing - truly. Finally you're pregnant. What a miracle. This is your chance to be a mother.

Yes having a child without a husband there is tough but so so worth it. You have brilliant family support and to be honest I think you are a thousand times better off having a baby without that asshole in your life 24/7. What kind of a father would he have made? He was planning on leaving you those 2 days when you thought you were pregnant!!

I think in time you will come to see this as the most amazing gift. You finally get pregnant AND get rid of a selfish emotionally abusive cheating bastard all at the same time. Jackpot.

And do now remember you hold ALL the cards.

Lou, just read through this whole thread and OMG, you (and your Mum) are AMAZING.

I can't offer any advice above and beyong the incredible support MN has already shared, but I can add another 'wow, just... wow' at the total cuntery of your H. What a twat.

Chin up - don't let the bastard get you down!

Hello. We've had a lot of reports about this thread.

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