He said he bought tickets - he didn't

[yellowraincoat]

My partner is a journalist and he gets free tickets for stuff sometimes.

Yesterday we were meant to see Bruce Springsteen for my bday - I actually couldn't go as I was ill. He told me he'd bought the tickets, not got them for free - this is important to me, I don't think it's nice to give people free stuff for their birthday.

However, I've found out that, in fact, the tickets were free after all.

I'm upset. Upset that he lied, upset that he didn't actually buy me anything but just got it for free.

But maybe I'm over-reacting. I have BPD and I often don't have a clue what's normal behaviour.

So am I?

But his lying is not the only issue. You feel he made no effort and didn't want a freebie as a gift. My friend booked tickets for the concert online. It took about 2 minutes. So about the same as he took to email. The only difference is that he didn't pay.
I get you don't like lying. I get that he sounds like a twat. But in this situation i fail to see the issue. He might of lied, you don't remember what he he got you, its possible you got the wrong end of the stick and don't remember the conversation correctly. You got another present and the cake. So you got what you wanted.
On the other hand he may have not actually said they were free but not said they were paid for either. There seems to be alot of confusion.
Looking at your other post, i think you are making a big deal about this because you want to leave and feel you need a specific reason. You don't, you are not happy being with him. That's enough to leave.

QS - are you always this snappy with people who are upset?

You have just said yourself that you react to situations because you think they are worse than they are, is that so different from what I said.

I was trying to be supportive.

Not usually. I dont usually come across people who are totally unable to take anything on board.

That is a very new experience for me. Sorry.

I wont follow you to your other thread. So you can stop engaging with me here.

OK, honestly. Does it matter THAT much to people who's right, who's wrong? This is relationships. I wanted some support. Not people picking apart my thread and saying "well you said this, you said that".

I am having a crap time.

It upset me A LOT that he lied.

I'm going to the other thread. I'm sick of justifying myself to people who need to be in the right.

I also deliberately said people with bpd often do , rather than always do.

It seems to me that you are reading malice in people's replies where it was not intended .

OK, you're definitely in the right. Hiding this now.

Sorry you're having a crap time yellow.

I'd be upset too. I don't mind being given free/cheap stuff but he shouldn't have lied.

I am not trying to be in the right or to upset you. I do understand how bpd can feel and how it can place you in a dark place. I was trying to reassure you that on this occasion your dp may not have been trying to be cruel , however generally he sounds like a twat and therefore you are probably well rid.

I hope you start to feel a bit brighter soon and can start to make some positive decisions and can see a future without someone who clearly isn't good for you .

I've not read the whole thread, but are you sure he didn't pay for the tickets? I often have access to hospitality tickets through work contacts and you often have to make a generous donation to charity in exchange for the tickets - sometimes this charge is not much cheaper than face value, but you get cleaner loos and a nicer bar.

Maybe he did pay for those tickets to treat you to a nicer experience.

Aw Yellow I know it isn't the done thing but I have had a look at some of your old threads. Over a year ago things weren't right between you and your DP. Maybe now is the time to call it quits?

"I haven't read the whole thread" - Why not? I said I know he didn't pay for the tickets.

Because its over 200 posts long. I was trying to help. I apologise.

Maybe it wouldn't be so long if people stopped asking the same questions over and over.

Yellow, what you post is important even when looking for support. People can't support you when it isn't very clear what the issue is.
Tbh I think you are taking some posts the wrong way and coming across very angry.

nancerama he didn't pay for the tickets, OP has proof of that.

He lied. Yellow didn't demand the tickets for her birthday and then complain about them being freebies.

He could have presented the tickets at any time as a great freebie for both of them. Yellow explained that her birthday was near Christmas and she recieved a frame, a cake and tickets. So maybe the tickets were meant as a Christmas present not birthday? Irelevant really as what matters is he lied.

He may have lied to avoid an argument but when confronted he lied and was manipulative to someone who doubts themself and feels unable to ascertain if she is right to feel the way she does.

He left her in pain and moaned about fetching some medicine.

If I really wanted to see Springsteen and my DH got me some free tickets, bonus! But he would then say 'I got them for free so we can do XYZ with what they would've cost' or 'As I got the tickets for free, here is Bruce's new CD for you to get you in the mood' etc.

I have read a lot of posts by Yellow and her big thing she mentioned about her relationship was trust, there being lots of it. So if that has been dented by this, it has obviously shaken her.
I don't know why this became some pedantic AIBU thread.

Yellow, I'm sorry that it's all been such a horrid weekend for you. But I am, incidentally, really concerned about the cystitis. If you've had bleeding, you should get yourself an urgent drs appointment for tomorrow morning, with a urine sample. Over the counter stuff really doesn't work very well, and if you neglect this you could do yourself some damage. In my experience being stressed makes cysitis worse. Apologies if you were planning on doing this anyway, but I'm wincing in sympathy.

I'd have to be on my deathbed to miss Bruce.

But, they would have been like golddust, so perhaps he put a lot of effort into getting them?