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Original poster

He said he bought tickets - he didn't

218 replies

yellowraincoat · 15/07/2012 13:20

My partner is a journalist and he gets free tickets for stuff sometimes.

Yesterday we were meant to see Bruce Springsteen for my bday - I actually couldn't go as I was ill. He told me he'd bought the tickets, not got them for free - this is important to me, I don't think it's nice to give people free stuff for their birthday.

However, I've found out that, in fact, the tickets were free after all.

I'm upset. Upset that he lied, upset that he didn't actually buy me anything but just got it for free.

But maybe I'm over-reacting. I have BPD and I often don't have a clue what's normal behaviour.

So am I?

OP posts:
CountvonViscount · 15/07/2012 13:41

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BobbiFleckman · 15/07/2012 13:41

and he's probably then had to come up with some nice story about that PR's worst act in return, or turn up at some terrible showcase and be positive about something awful. It's really not that simple. Those tickets were gold dust.

the main point however is that you say he lied - he didn't - you made a statement, and he didn't set it straight. It's not quite the same, and iti's not a big deal.

Original poster
yellowraincoat · 15/07/2012 13:43

Thanks Count. That's helpful. I do actaully have mental health problems as I said in the OP, so you're probably right. I am mad.

He lied last night. I asked him outright if he got them free and he got angry with me for suggesting that he had. Properly pissed off and I then felt so guilty and apologised loads. Now it turns out he was lying.

That's not a little thing to me.

OP posts:
PebblePots · 15/07/2012 13:43

Ok the medicine thing sucks & lying in bed :(

izzyizin · 15/07/2012 13:44

I'm so sorry you were ill and unable to go to one of the most coveted gigs of recent times, yr.

You said your birthday was months ago? What did your partner get for you, or do you for you, on the day?

Original poster
yellowraincoat · 15/07/2012 13:44

Bobbi, he didn't have to do any donkey work. I've seen the emails. Do you have tickets for this? Yes. Great, can you send them? Sure.

OP posts:
CuriousMama · 15/07/2012 13:44

I don't think it's the tickets though is it? People lie all the time. I hate it too as I'm not a liar,couldn't be if I tried.

Have you told him you may end it?

BobbiFleckman · 15/07/2012 13:46

you don't understand the chain of professional obligation and you seem upset that someone has clocked what you want, and gone and got it for you. Would you rather have had something hideous but really expensive like Ugg boots? the cash value doesn't matter,

Original poster
yellowraincoat · 15/07/2012 13:49

No I do Bobbi. I was a journalist myself, I understand perfectly well. Here there was no chain. He's friends with this PR which is probably how he got them.

He knows I hate getting free stuff. I'd rather not have had the tickets than had them free. That's not really the point here. He knows I don't want free things, I'd rather have a coffee and a piece of cake in Starbucks than have something for free. He knows that and I've said that here.

The point is he lied, got in a sulk when I asked if he lied and listened to me fall over myself apologising for accusing him of lying.

OP posts:
MooncupGoddess · 15/07/2012 13:49

My experience is that some people lie a lot, usually in minor ways, to save themselves hassle/get out of a tricky situation. These people are usually more tolerant of minor lying in other people.

Then there are those (like me) who hardly ever lie and find it intolerable in other people, because it means you can't trust the ground under your feet. If you're like this then being in a relationship with a Type 1 will destroy you.

As an aside, I seem to recall from other threads that your boyfriend is a bit of a twat, so maybe it's for the best that you've seen him in his true colours. I do feel for you, though.

Original poster
yellowraincoat · 15/07/2012 13:52

I can deal with minor lies from others. Not from him. He's always been honest to the point of bluntness, to the point of hurting me sometimes. So why lie over this?

He can be a twat. He never tidies. He is lazy. He is self-centred. But when things are good, they are so good.

I know I'll never love someone like him. I feel horrible. I know we're going to split up and I can't deal with it.

OP posts:
cocolepew · 15/07/2012 13:53

How was he going to keep the lie going if you were able to go? Surely you would know as soon as you got the hospitality stuff that they were free.

CuriousMama · 15/07/2012 13:53

Oh I used to think that about exdh, how on earth can I ever love someone like him? Ended up leaving him and am with dp, who I love far far more.

CuriousMama · 15/07/2012 13:54

I thought that cocolepew?

MooncupGoddess · 15/07/2012 13:54

X-posted. I do find this statement of yours a bit odd: ' I'd rather not have had the tickets than had them free.'

So you mean if he came home one day and said, 'Great news, I've got a couple of free tickets for the Springsteen gig, fancy coming?' you'd have said no? Or do you just mean that you wanted him to buy you something for your birthday as well as getting hold of free tickets?

Original poster
yellowraincoat · 15/07/2012 13:54

He tried to say he'd bought the tickets but then got hospitality through his work. But it's not true.

OP posts:
CountvonViscount · 15/07/2012 13:55

Oh god !! You're feckin fussy.

CuriousMama · 15/07/2012 13:55

I get free tickets from a friend, went to Springsteen with them and have been to other gigs etc.. surely you don't have a problem with that for yourself? I don't see why you would unless you're mega rich?

Original poster
yellowraincoat · 15/07/2012 13:56

No Mooncup. I mean that if he'd said "free tickets, let's go" of course i'd wanted to go.

If he said "here's your birthday, it's free tickets" then no, I wouldn't have wanted them.

I know that seems weird. We go to a lot of free stuff, and I am very grateful that he takes me. But I just don't want free stuff for my birthday/christmas especially free stuff dressed up as not free stuff.

OP posts:
Original poster
yellowraincoat · 15/07/2012 13:56

Count, if you can't be polite why don't you just not post?

OP posts:
CuriousMama · 15/07/2012 13:56

Oh right that's ok then Wink I did wonder.

Dprince · 15/07/2012 13:57

You would rather not have something because its free?
The effort he put in was getting in touch with the person and requesting the tickets. Rather than grabbing some chocs while he is the local shop.
This concert was the most coveted concerts in years. I honestly would not have cared how much/little or how dh had come by them if i were you.
going by your OP i would say he lied as he thought you would kick off.
If the others are right and you have posted about him before and he is a test, why do you need an excuse? Because that's what it sounds like, an excuse.

MooncupGoddess · 15/07/2012 13:58

That makes total sense, YR.

It is horrible ending relationships but it does sound like this guy is not for you in the long term.

CuriousMama · 15/07/2012 13:59

I know it's not AIBU is it?

Do you think couple counselling could help you both? Sounds like you could have something worth saving? He just sounds thoughtless to me? I couldn't be with someone like that myself but if you can get him to see this maybe he can change?

Dprince · 15/07/2012 13:59

If fact i bet he lied because he knew you would refuse to go if it was free and he knew you would enjoy it. So rather than you miss out he lied.