Support thread for survivors of childhood sexual abuse PART 5

[CailinDana]

Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Part 4

The purpose of these threads is to allow survivors of childhood sexual abuse, their partners, friends, or parents, to talk in a safe place about what they think and feel. Nothing is off limits or taboo, just say what you want to say.

Mashed, I think I saw on Kim and Aggie that if you dissolve a couple of denture cleaning tablets in some warm water and soak white lace it comes out sparkling.

I think DH is just tired and stressed out. He doesn't get angry or anything he just gets very quiet. He said last night that he feels lonely because he doesn't really have any friends here, which is a shame. He wants us to chat more, which I totally agree with, I think sometimes we get caught up staring at our screens and don't talk enough.

No it's cream and got a tea cup ring on it, I have coasters honest not a washing machine job then?

Sorry everyone.

Hatti, how are you doing?

Mashed give me a minute

washing a lace tablecloth

Hi hatti, yes to be expected

Ok, had a little kip, got a headache.

Cailin, I make sure we have tea time to chat every day, no tv etc, you could try a quiet time every day after the wee ones in bed.

Hatti, you don't have to face the world if you don't want to, it's ok to have me time.

Offred, hope your headache isn't too bad.

Cailin, Dotty, thankyou, I'm presuming because it's old it'll be white but dirty!

Just heard my mother is coming to visit us in July, she hasn't asked, has just told ds on facebook she'll be coming.

This is the facebook where she has a fake account for me!

Anyway, hows everyone else?

Aw crap, I fell for it again thats why my bloody sister was texting

Will you see her when she visits Mashed?

She coming to stay mashed?

Got to give her her stuff back, the stuff I'm storing, the photo albums full of him.

Am thinking up ways to get guilt money out of her but just feel so angry. How the fuck could she put those albums out in my home!

Mashed, please, you don't owe her anything. Nothing at all, please don't let her manipulate you using "normal rules of relationships" that's the foot in the door right there. Please decide what you are doing about the stuff and about her visit as though it were a vacuum where she didn't exist.

That's shit Mashed have you any moral support you can call on x

That's settled think I'll phone dr on monday just been to Asda and it was excruitiating kids screaming was agony even young lass on till asked if I was ok bad or what. Now thinking its been coming on for a couple of weeks but I thought it was sensory overload.

Yes, good plan dotty. X

No, she's not staying here, I'm presuming my aunts house as sisters don't have room.

She won't be coming in my home either, her stuffs in the shed outside.

She does own property in Edinburgh so she could stay there.

How are you feeling about her visit Mashed?

Dotty it's good to hear you're going to the doctor, I think that's a good call.

Offred, how's it going?

just curled up in the corner of my dust sheeted half painted room and bawled my eyes out.

Don't know Cailin, I know if I say what I'm feeling/how I'm doing she'll be "oh that's great I'm so proud of you" then "I'm of to see so and so but you can't come because your weird/mental/an embarrasment blah blah blah" all whilst pfb'ing my ds. Cba, just want to get the emotions out the way first.

Dotty, big hugs.

Hows everyone?

I'm grand. DH is being a big mope but at least he came downstairs about an hour ago and took over with DS so I'm upstairs chilling. I hope he'll be in better form later. He's perfectly entitled to be in a mood, I know, and I feel bad for reacting so badly.

Sorry to hear you're so upset Mashed. Could you just hand over the photos and then send her on her way?

At PIL's (lovely, family I never had) about to have some dinner. Dcs sleeping over, going out to pub. Just trying to put things to one side for now.

That sounds lovely Offred. I really hope you have a good time this evening.

Yes mashed hand over the photos and be done

Thanks cailin.

Yep :o good plan.

Have a good evening Offred.

Cailin, how do you think you reacted badly?

I'm not very sympathetic. If I'm not feeling great he makes me tea and tells me to go and have a rest, I just got annoyed at him. I did tell him to head home and have a rest in the end but when he came back down I was a bit snappy with him because he wanted to go back up and have a bath and I knew DS would get upset at him going away again (DS is extremely clingy around him, much more so than with me). I would rather he have just stayed upstairs and had his bath than coming down and upsetting DS. But I know he didn't do it deliberately.

He can just be such a mope when he's not feeling good, huffing and puffing with a hangdog expression. I think part of my irritation is to do with the fact that usually if I'm not feeling well I just soldier on whereas he shuts down.