Support thread for survivors of childhood sexual abuse PART 5

[CailinDana]

Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Part 4

The purpose of these threads is to allow survivors of childhood sexual abuse, their partners, friends, or parents, to talk in a safe place about what they think and feel. Nothing is off limits or taboo, just say what you want to say.

Bloody hell though so much to read, nothing to offer that hasn't been said. All very tombli ((hugs)) can sympathise with those awful feelings too.

What's a billy bookcase or am I missing something :o

Cailin, mmm I'm thinking my next move should be a winning lottery ticket watch it be a £5

I think I just have a more positive and unweighted outlook so if I can do it anyone can, x

It's from Ikea Mashed. We have one, but I certainly didn't put it together!

have only been to ikea a few times antiques shopper mostly

Good on you Dotty, I've an old radio I'm trying to modernise, girl power and all that :o

This is the first time I've seen the royal wedding, I was too ill last year.

Oo mashed my DH works for the lottery! Fix it for you!

It's from Ikea I do all the DIY/gardening and house built DD2's wardrobe, chest of drawers and bedside chest got DS's chest of drawers to do tomorrow same as hers.

I have really poor grip in my hands so I find things like putting furniture together really hard. It pisses me off.

Offred, ooo can ya :o

Dotty, you could build dolls houses and furniture.

Cailin I have raynauds thanks to me using to many power tools winter's a nightmare can't do anything without pain gets me down.

I am banned off ladders by 'h' as I've fell of them to much.

I like that kind of thing and gardening. Stops my brain thinking. Deciding whether to listen to angry music or have a booze out in the garden with the fairy lights on and the rain.

Cailin, me too double jointed

Offred, angry music and fairy lights in the garden!

I screamed the lyrics to "make me want to die" at my mother last year

Mashed that's quite funny in a weird way. I can imaging me doing that. DH would have to steal you a cheque, you may or may not be able to cash it.

Offred, oh it was hilarious but horrible, I'd just been called mental 1 too many times and lost it, I think I was doing the "teen" stage :o

:o at the uncashable check

I've done similar with my parents but was a teen

I think I could afford to do it more often tbh. Keep myself too controlled.

Any even small show of emotion was treated with utter contempt in my family. All three of us girls rarely had any outbursts, there was no point.

Thats where I'm aiming, cool, sophisticated expression of emotions. I'm getting there slowly. Half my problem is she ridicules or belittles everything I say so by saying song lyrics I know the words are liked and respected by other people. I get worried a bit about copying people but in an emotional explosion is the safest way to remember someone somewhere thinks the way I do and is liked so I might be liked by someone and that someone else knows the same kind of pain.

We grew up in a family where you weren't allowed an opinion remember my dad having a go at DD1 aged about 18 months/2 years for having her own mind and it was 'that ones got a mind of her own' the way it was said was full of disdain I stood up for her saying of course she had and had every right to.

Have bloody pins and needles in my hand now

cailin. Listening to tool "the grudge" having a small booze and pity party. DH friend been great, checking up, humouring.

I'd like to have had some more angry, have never been really.

Mine tried to be liberal but got angry/moralistic when you broke the rules you didn't know they had.

Cailin, I don't remember ever being allowed to show emotion, stiff upper lip, children should be seen and not heard, utter tosh and so damaging to the child. My sisters were allowed to sometimes, so they find it easier but both struggle as adults to fit in the family as individuals. My older sister has some sway with her husband but has to follow his ideas in the extended family.

My other sister, who I have difficulty with has been in contact this, I answered her texts but very breezy.

Offred, what a headfuck!

Dotty, I've heard that a few times too.