Support thread for survivors of childhood sexual abuse PART 5

[CailinDana]

Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Part 4

The purpose of these threads is to allow survivors of childhood sexual abuse, their partners, friends, or parents, to talk in a safe place about what they think and feel. Nothing is off limits or taboo, just say what you want to say.

You reckon its just vindictiveness if I bin dollshouse then?

People normally keep childhood things to pass on to their children because they have good memories about them. Do you have good memories about the dollhouse?

I'm off to bed too, will put links up tomorrow, the one I was thinking of is now all hippy and you have to pay.

Offred, that happened to me, hit me all at once, not nice. Can you make a gp appointment, for a chat, referral, etc

Hope everyone sleeps ok, some gentle deep breathing helps.

Night, also going to bed. Can't trust the GP. Various reasons, things written all over my notes about hysteria.

Morning everyone,

Tombli, anyone interested,

inner child therapy

or

[http://www.pandys.org/articles/innerchild-html inner child article]]

There is hypnosis but I can't find the free one, I did it after doing the stuff recommended above, so if you work through them and want hypnosis stuff let me know.

I'm really pissed off at my mother again today humphy face

Offred my dad and I did it up when DD1 was 5 for her christmas she had it 6 months before DS wrecked it I used to play for hours with it but my childhood has few happy memories it's been darkened by what happened.

Don't even know if my girls will want it to be honest the only reason we where going to do it was because she's doing childcare.

Try again :o

inner child article

Offred, grr gp's, I was beyond hysterical when it hit me, can you see about rape crisis or even womens aid? And keep talking here, don't be alone, we've all been there.

Hope it goes ok with your councellor friend too, there's some stuff about self sabotage in the first link.

I'm in a crap mood today, need to pull my finger out put feel worthless. Oh well, mind you a swallow nearly flew in my window again :)

Dotty, could you burn it and get a lovely new untainted one? I know a few people who do dolls houses and they love it, there's so much you can do. It's a good idea.

Yes can't see why you wouldn't burn it if it makes you feel bad dotty unless you are keeping it to hurt yourself.

When I've found childhood stuff I've kept the stuff which makes me feel happy and got rid of the stuff with bad memories.

How are you this morning Offred?

I've got to go offline soon, am having a crisis with my hair though. For the first time ever it is past shoulder length and very "feminine" curly, it makes me feel awful and I want to shave it off, might just trim it later.

I'm in hitchcock's the birds this morning, thats a crow nearly in the window. Will have to look for something to warn them.

Bit better I think, holding it together. DH gone. Had bad dreams.

Would never burn it take it the dump maybe it's more of how long ago I got it christmas '76 my nieces had it in the 80's then it came back for DD1. Call me a bitch but I actually asked my mum last time I saw her if it was them or IT that bought it because I wasn't sure as I got a dolls crib that year as well and one was off him my sister confirmed where it came from as she went to the guys house with my dad.

Don't know maybe we could do it up to look totally different to the way it is have to have a good think about it and get this year over with first before making a rash decision that I might regret later.

You don't have to keep things because they are old if they upset you.

That's it as well all my childhood stuff has gone was made to even get rid of a bookcase full of books as well aged about 14 had every Enid Blyton book.

And I loved the dollshouse so think decision is made.

I'm influenced by my own prejudices there then! I haven't got anything from my childhood, my mum keeps things and I wish she wouldn't. When they kicked me out they threw out all my stuff but they still have baby clothes etc that they want me to use but I feel funny about.

Shared a house with my brother at 16/17 I came home from work at lots of my stuff had gone keyboard, games and typewriter they had a key their excuse was in case I sold the stuff as I had no right to they where all gifts including off other people so my property but that was my dad for you.

Only reason it still exists is it was in my dear sisters house until '95 otherwise it would of been gone my kids don't have much stuff left but that's their choice not mine.

Morning all.

Offred what age were you when your parents kicked you out? Why did it happen?

I hardly lived at home beyond 16. Had times when I went back, then they'd kick me out again. First time I think I left because I couldn't stand it. They were pushy middle class, wanted us to go to oxbridge, wouldn't acknowledge my depression "don't be stupid" or me being bullied at school, was very unhappy, they were a bit abusive, physically violent, they are catholic, they wouldn't allow me to not go to church.

One time dropped me off at work and told me not to come home. Was seeing xp and he had got his friend to beat him unconscious, I called ambulance, police came, I told them I didn't know who did it, my mum told me she couldn't live with someone who would lie to the police. I never went back after that.

Do you have any contact with them today?

Yes, a lot. We are quite close. That is the mad part! I've asserted myself about my childhood and we've moved forward although I won't be drawn on what happened during the times I was gone.

They are my family but they are difficult to deal with. I have recently stopped going round for Sunday dinner because my dad has volatile rages unpredictably at the children. He has a hoard and the children threaten it.

How is your relationship with them? How do you feel towards them?

Dotty - maybe you could make it very modern inside?