Support thread for survivors of childhood sexual abuse PART 5

[CailinDana]

Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Part 4

The purpose of these threads is to allow survivors of childhood sexual abuse, their partners, friends, or parents, to talk in a safe place about what they think and feel. Nothing is off limits or taboo, just say what you want to say.

You are entitled to them dotty.

Offred, has anything happened to bring it all to the surface.

Tombli, why do you wish you hadn't said no?

Good Dotty, sometimes takes a while but there's usually something :)

I have my old dolls house in the attic was originally going to make it mine and DD2's project to do up then I just wanted rid of anything from my childhood (only thing that was kept) now I'm not sure its just me being vindictive and evil.

Sorry should also clarify my story I suppose. Not abused as a child but directed here for support as in a mess. Long and difficult story. Was raped at 17 by a workmate, freaked out at work, got bullied for being a "prick tease" bullied out of work. Had periods of homelessness where I had survival sex and was raped + physically attacked by two more men, ended up in abusive relationship, refused sex xp raped me, I got pregnant and he left. Now married and about 6 years out of last abuse so not long.

I don't understand it Mashed. Something about getting affection or destroying the good things I have in my life. Those moments seem to be the only way I can connect. What goes through my head at the time is a sense of power. Kind of 'I know you want me' if that makes any sense. I hope that doesn't sound conceited, it isn't intended that way.

Mashed - yes the thread about being drunk. It helped clarify and crystallise things in my mind. Stupid, thought I was fine, thought it was a good thing.

Memory was me stood on a chair baking with my dad must of been about 4 at the time before I 'was trouble' even remember the little things like breaking eggs not a visual memory though.

Tombli- again I can sympathise and I think that kind of stuff is about taking the power back.

Offred, under 18 is a child still, legally, so prop your feet up and have some cake :)

What you went through was fucking horrendus and I'm so angry for you, what bastards.

However, you sound like you are in a stable part of your life and you may be in a safe enough place to process and move forward from the abuse.

Your family sounds lovely.

Will answer tombli separately.

Mashed you are so together! Don't know why I ever thought I was!

Offred I was actually told by DC involved in my case that now if I had gone to any HCP and told them what I did at 16/17 they would of been duty bound to report it as I was under 18 despite living in Scotland and the age of consent being 16 xxhugsxx

Tombli, it makes a lot of sense, have you tried inner child therapy?

I had a time like you describe, except I was the ultimate scream til I'm sick brat. Inner child therapy helped me to connect back with me as a child.

Does that make sense?

Offred, I wasn't on thread 1, Cailin and the other posters have really helped me as well as a good therapist.

Dotty, that sounds lovely.

In scottish law a person over 18 can't have sex with someone under 18. 16 to 18 years can have sex together though. The police are cracking down on it atm.

They can there's no age except underage laws unlawful sex under 16 and rape if under 13 just the abuse laws is getting tightened up. X

What sounds lovely the memory or project in 2 minds about that.

I've heard of inner child therapy Mashed but wouldn't know how to go about getting it in my area. As far as they're concerned, they have provided me with every kind of therapy they have available. I think I've had as many chances as I'm going to get.

Dotty, both memory and project.

Ds school had a big talk about it, the kids are concerned for when they pass 18 and their bf/gf's are under 18.

Offred, why do you think that clarifycation is a bad thing?

that thread was shite, I was even being prayed for to not get raped again because of my disregard about the threat of alcohol

Made me overconfident, now feel I have sabotaged.

Tombli, there's a website for self inner child therapy. I've got a link somewhere. might be a while :o

In what way overconfident and how have you sabotaged (I can't spell)

Thank you Mashed, and your spelling is fine x

Think it contributed to it jumping out and I think it jumping out in that way was not a good idea.

DD2 is 16 her bf is older than 18 I know he'd kill anyone that hurt her nit that she needs protecting halfpint may be little but she's a toughie x

I'm going to get some sleep now. Thsnks everyone xx