Do any of you actually trust your husbands?

[Buckfollocks]

Just been reading some 'I think he's cheating on me/sleeping with escorts' threads and am wondering if (and how) any of you can actually trust your husbands?

The statistics are pretty daunting regarding number of men who have slept around, either with escorts or affair/one night stands.

How do youa ll get through it? I am having a relationship crisis on the trust front at the moment and would appreciate any advice......

TIA

That's not to say that I still wouldn't be utterly gobsmacked and devastated if he ever did cheat, because I don't believe he ever would. I just think you can never say never...hmm still not sure if I am explaining it well enough, I fear my eloquence is insufficient for this thread! :o

OK, I assume my partner won't shag around. It is in some ways a conscious decision, that assumption; but more a conscious decision about me, and my attitude, than him. (I used to be very, very jealous and insecure in every other relationship.)

He is a nice bloke. We live together. It's better, from all sorts of points of view, to make that assumption and work on that basis, as far as I am concerned.

I don't agree, Orm. You can't trust anyone 100% - you can't possibly know exactly what they'll do under all circumstances. If you (in the sense of "one", not you personally) are better off without anyone you can't trust 100%, you'll be better off but alone. You have to take a punt on people, within reason, accepting that there's a chance you'll be let down and hoping that you won't.

Trust is different from 100 per cent knowledge, though. Like I say, it is an informed assumption.

"I trust that the bridge I walk over every day won't break with me on it, but I can never trust it 100%...doesn't stop me crossng it though"

But that is the same thing. Trust isn't the same as knowledge. Trust is an essential to live your life if you don't want to live in debilitating fear and worry. I know my husband is a normal fallible human being. Logic dictates he could let me down. Trust demands that I carry on beleiving that he won't. What is the alternative? Spending my life waiting for him to do so?

"You have to take a punt on people, within reason, accepting that there's a chance you'll be let down and hoping that you won't."

That is the definition of trust. That precisely. Puting yourself on the line.

Mr Ruby who told Ruby he would be cheating on himself, is a ruby amongst pearls. He GETS IT.

Affairs are just plain destructive. We need to tell our sons this. And they actually destroy the person doing it. He loses who he is and becomes another person he doesn't even recognise. He loses integrity, his conscience, his values, his legacy, his reputation, and his self-respect.

And even if he dumps his spouse and blames her for everything, and continues his merry way, he loses his capacity for empathy and caring. All his next relationships will be poisoned by this hard heart, whether he knows it or not.

Betrayers become lesser human beings.

It is no longer fashionable to talk about God or the bible, but 'God' is another word for the integrity of the self/soul, and a lot of the holy books (whichever branch) are a distillation of thousands of years of the human experience. This is why they should be taken seriously and given respect.
Adultery breaks FIVE of the TEN commandments (on how to be a decent human being): lying, coveting, theft, [no other God but me] putting an addiction before integrity, betrayal.

in that case Orm, yes, I trust my DH. :o

He's never given me reason not to, even when we spent 5 years living apart.

I absolutely trust my DH. He is so amazing
I love him so much.

I trust my DH 100% I know he would never ever cheat on me. I could never be with someone I didn't completely trust.

Yes.

Just yes.

McKayz, that is the whole point. You trust someone until that dread day that you discover your reality is not what you thought it was...

So you don't change your trust. He or she breaks your trust. Orm's definition of trust is a good one.