Support thread for survivors of childhood sexual abuse PART 3

[CailinDana]

The first two parts of this thread:
Part 1
Part 2

The purpose of these threads is to allow survivors of childhood sexual abuse, their partners, friends, or parents, to talk in a safe place about what they think and feel. Nothing is off limits or taboo, just say what you want to say.

Hi Littlemiss, I have nightmares too, awful, how you doing?

Onno, councelling has really helped, just read the thread and agree it's the guy who's a twunt. Hope you can overcome the "freezing" it's awful.

Avalon, legs first after 5mins of laughing I won't mention the inflateable armband he got stuck on his head either managed to photo that through giggles

Littlemiss does she know what he did to you. X

For all thosr asking about counselling if you find a REALLY good one its fantastic otherwise it can make it even worse.

I should be gone. Can you make up some excuse littlemiss? I certainly wouldn't let him in my safe zone. If your gran wants to come round, is there anyway at all you can turn it so only she comes. Arrange to go girly shopping together first, that type of thing. Of course that may depend on how old your gran is and how she'll get about. Does her husband drive?

Dotty sorry you had a bad night, the nightmares are a pain x

Sorry to hear you're having a tough time sleeping dotty.

Littlemiss, I wouldn't let them into my home, if I had to see them I'd meet them somewhere neutral. Keep your safe place safe.

I wish everyone nightmare-free sleep tonight.

She knew and threw me out. I know i should cut contact but she is the only family i have. Parents are dead. I only have my dc. There are times i feel totally alone. i'm too ashamed to tell my friends and when i told my ex about six months into the relationship he told me i was disgusting and used goods. I've met a wonderful man since but i just can't tell him everything. He knows i was hurt and about my upbringing but i don't want this nightmare to touch him or my dc.
Sorry you are having nightmares too coffee

Sorry littlemiss I meant if she relies on her husband to drive her about there's very little chance of being able to just make some excuse up and keep him away IFYSWIM. Like Coffee says, meet somewhere neutral.

Littlemiss fwiw I don't think she's worth it I no longer have a mother because of what I've done your worth so much more than her your children and partner are your FAMILY not her (sorry) xx

They live in a different country and would have to stay at mine. my partner has offered me a place to stay but they would still be here. i'm not sure if i would ever feel safe here again. My home has always been my safe place. Not sure if i'm strong enough to let him invade it

Oh your gran knew Massive hugs.

Night Avalon

Littlemiss, what a twunt to say that to you. I don't have family except my DS, my family's around but don't want to know. Glad you have a good DH now, I can understand not wanting to tell them for hurting them. I do grounding techniques to help when I have nightmares but still difficult to deal with.

Avalon/Cailin shouldn't whine about not sleeping used to it but the last week slept more than I have since a child and nightmares/ bizarre dreams to do with abuse are back can't decide if its worth sleeping if that's the case.

What sort of relationship do you have with your grandmother littlemiss?

There are lots of cheap hotels around, make them stay there, say your place is too small, infested, stairs too steep, anything I'm really fussy about people in my safe place

Sorry but keep your family safe from him.

I speak to her once a month. Not seen her in five years. we have never talked about what happend. She told social services at the time that i had seduced her husband. now it's never mentioned. She makes me talk to him on phone all the time and if i don't want to she hangs up. i don't know if she is trying to punish me for it again. At 14 i lost my only home because of it and now if i don't play ball i lose her

the day i buried my biological mother was the last time he touched me. no one was around to protect me again. i didn't protect myself either. It makes me so angry that i'm a grown woman and still can't protect the little girl i was. He has seen my children twice and has never been alone with them. I kept them away as far as i could.

Littlemiss to be honest i think it's time to lose her. She is still abusing you.

Hunny can't you see she's punishing you for what he did, you lost her a long time ago your an adult now she can't make you do anything you don't want to you will never heal if you keep the contact up xx

How old where you when your mum died? X

I was 24. Found out i had a serious illness that same week. the stress of it all nearly destroyed me.

Darling i wish i could give you a big hug. You've been through so much.

Littlemiss, they do not deserve to have anything to do with you or your family. You are too good to have to even breathe the same air as them. She has to respect you or take a long walk.