Support thread for survivors of childhood sexual abuse PART 3

[CailinDana]

The first two parts of this thread:
Part 1
Part 2

The purpose of these threads is to allow survivors of childhood sexual abuse, their partners, friends, or parents, to talk in a safe place about what they think and feel. Nothing is off limits or taboo, just say what you want to say.

x post. Hiya Plink. x

Promise this is my last post as definitely dont want to hijack but i suppose what i really wanted to know is if yu did identify with a character in a book at that age do you think any coping strategies illustrated there might have helped? Just wanted to clarifymy question. Or what if a book helped young children to idntify abuse as abuse, illustrated coping strategies and encuouraged them to tell a teacher or similar?

He's ok. He seems to be having one of his better months but I'll know more when he gets home from school shortly. He'll probably go straight to sleep and then I'll be up half the night with him. (It might seem mean of me to send him to school after treatment but his autism means any disruption in his routine can cause such problems and I do keep him off if he's really sick).

My daughter had a high temperature. It appears to be a throat infection. But I get panicky when any of them get ill.

Acuppa - I think it's opening a whole can of worms. I didn't like my Uncle Harry kissing me, or kissing my Grandad on the lips but they were not my abuser. If I had told the teacher, Lord knows what would have happened.

The only book I can remember identifying with at an early age is "Are you there God? It's Me Margaret" or some such thing.

I'm trying not to be negative. Just putting my thoughts down before I need to rush off.

Of course you do TOTU, that's totally understandable. I used to teach children with autism so I know how important routine can be. I'm glad he's doing well.

Acuppa I honestly think it would be very difficult to write a book like that. There would probably be uproar about it from parents if it was in any way explicit - even normal, straightforward sex education is a frowned upon by many parents. Technically inappropriate touching etc should be covered in PSHE in schools but often it isn't.

I remember identifying with the characters in "Flowers in the attic" by Virginia Andrews. The situation described in the book wasn't really similar to mine but the feeling of rejection and of coping with a very difficult situation really resonated with me as a child.

Ok, thank you.

Haha, I loved "Are you there god, it's me margaret", that's how I learnt about periods. And I loved "Flowers in the Attic". Then the Vampire ones "interview with a vampire" and then "Earths Children" and Michelle Pavers ones about the boy and wolf, crap can't remember but swear it's Totu!

Hi Totu, hope your DC's aren't too ill.

Hi Cailin, I'm good, going to be a horrendus mum and make doughnuts, DS had a run with twunt teacher yesterday so just waiting til he gets home.

What happened with your DS and the teacher Plink?

Can you email me some doughnuts, pleeeeease, pretty pleeease???

I love "Are you there god" and "Interview" too. Haven't read "Earth's Children" though.

Afternoon just back from session.

How'd it go dotty?

Fine called an end to it.

Why?

Just saw your post plinkpasta. Thats kind of you but i wouldnt want to intrude.

Feel I've gone as far as I can Cailin if it goes to court and I want more support can call her up again. But no matter what, if it does she wants to know the outcome.

When you say you've gone as far as you can, is that a positive thing?

With regard to a book all I can say is what others have said I was so young I don't remember when it started. As I've just said to my counseller sex education is the way forward teaching 5 year olds about body awareness and what is private is a good thing if it saves one child its worth it.

I've personally clashed over this many times on these boards.

Oh yes Cailin even she noticed how different I was I now feel I'm getting my life back and being realistic about how long the recovery will be. X

Totally agree with the sex education approach Dotty.

Earths children has rape in the 1st + 3rd books, 2nd book is basically literary porn, 7th book is crap but my DS got mine for £1, hardback, brandnew in a charity and was so proud it takes pride of place. They're where I got my from.

Michelle Pavers Chronicles of Ancient Darkness are a brilliant kids versionish, and Isabel Allendes kids trilogy, DS loved them about age 11. I love them still, easy reads but good.

Cailin, a complete misunderstanding and he's had an apology from twunt teacher, twunt teacher is infamous and brill teacher stepped in :)

for doughnut lovers www.channel4.com/4food/recipes/tv-show-recipes/the-fabulous-baker-brothers-recipes/sticky-sticks-with-chocolate-sauce-recipe

Hi everyone, new to this thread after being invited over by CailinDana

Just been catching up and wanted to say to IDont that what happened was totally abusive. He deliberately violated your physical and sexual boundaries, even if he never touched you. Whenever you have one of those dreams about no-one believing you, breathe deep for a couple of minutes when you wake up and think of all of us, totally believing you and supporting you.

Any normal person, hearing what your StepDad did, would have a totally natural response: 'Eww, what a disgusting creepy weirdo!'. And 'poor you'. No-one would laugh, unless they had mental problems.

This man subjected you to mental torture at a very young age and there is no need to minimise that, or feel you don't deserve support and compassion because you weren't physically abused.

Do talk to someone about whether you could give an anonymous tipoff re his computer. I don't see why not - the police have an anonymous tipoff phoneline, don't they?

Just Googled: Crimestoppers might be what you need.

Hi Berts [waves]

Hi Berts, how are you?

Hi berts x

Hi everyone,

Have name-changed and am dipping my toes into this thread. I have to say I was a little surprised to see all the banter....but in a nice way.

When I was a child, I was sexually abused by my uncle. I don't know how old I was exactly, around 5/6. He did some truly unspeakable things. He is a policeman. No one in my family knows. DH knows, but tbh I think he has just put it away out of his mind. I remember one time, sitting in the back of a grandparents car, they were in the front, and he was abusing me. It was dark. I didn't say anything to them, what could I have said? They are dead now.

I see my Uncle every now and again. I act like everything is normal. If I am in a room with him, I act like everything is normal. If I think about it now, it is like I am a witness, looking from the outside, and it makes me so angry. I actually can't get my head round that it happened to me.

He has a daughter, she is grown up now - but I was too much of a coward to say anything. I don't know if he did anything to her. I am too much of a coward to say anything to anyone.......

Can I ask something - how often do you all think about it?

Sorry to but in on the banter :)

I know the feeling of watching from outside and the feeling did it really happen. Accepting that it happened has been brilliant for me. I don't think about it at all really but I have ptsd so get intrusive recollections. I have to do a lot of grounding and ptsd stuff.

If someone has a similar name to me can I change to coffeahorlicks? :o yeah