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Original poster

To think Dh is totally out of order?

564 replies

Geordieminx · 05/03/2012 08:03

Wil try and be brief.

Trip to shopping centre yesterday lunch time. Dh who was been there as many times (dozens) as I have gets into wrong lane, starts stressing, I try and tell him (not very sympathetically) which lane, he gets cross, I apparently (not sure) spoke to him like crap.

Anyhoo, he tells me to fucking shut up, in front of ds (4). I tell him to apologise, he refuses. I get ds out of the car, and tell him to give me a ring once he has calmed down as ready to apologise for speaking to me like that. He tells me if I get out of the car he is going and I can make my own way home.

Thought he would calm down, things would be frosty but it would be ok. Only not. He didn't come back, rang him once, no answer.

So ds and I had to make our own way home. (didn't even have any house keys), bus then train then lift from friend, in the rain without any coats. We managed though.

He rocks home at 7.30, goes straight to bed and has made it clear he isn't speaking to me.

Argument aside I can't believe he just drove off and left us. Not quite sure what he expected us to do/get home/in. Thankfully my friend has a key.

Just seems like a total shit house thing to do, esp to a 4 year old who was totally aware of the situation and kept asking why daddy had left us, why he wouldn't come and get us Sad

Did I deserve it?

OP posts:
MummyDoIt · 05/03/2012 08:07

While it is extremely irritating to have someone criticize your driving, especially if you're already stressed over it, that is NO excuse for leaving you and your DS stranded. Massive, massive over-reaction. YADNBU!

HorribleDay · 05/03/2012 08:08

No you did not! What an immature arsehole. Does he often behave like a 3 year old having a tantrum?? Hope you're Ok now and this isn't a pattern of negative behaviour on his part.

Shutupanddrive · 05/03/2012 08:09

YANBU Angry, how old is he? 12?

fluffiphlox · 05/03/2012 08:12

You sound like a pair of hotheads, not much of an example for your child. Do you watch a lot of Eastenders?

QueenSconetta · 05/03/2012 08:12

YANBU. Shady behaviour to do that to you but wholly unacceptable to do it to your son.

BabyDubsEverywhere · 05/03/2012 08:12

No you didnt deserve it....but you both sound very immature imo.

sunnydelight · 05/03/2012 08:13

YANBU - he was way out of order, and childish and even if he wanted to be horrible to you the fact that he was happy for DS to share the fall out makes him a total arse.

Original poster
Geordieminx · 05/03/2012 08:14

I agree I shouldn't have critiqued his driving. It drives me bat shit then he doesn't read signs and expects me to navigate then kicks off when I try and tell him but that's not the point.

He'48. Probably won't speak to me for days now.

Feel very sorry for ds Sad

OP posts:
Original poster
Geordieminx · 05/03/2012 08:15

It was just a daft argument because he asked what lane and spoke in the wrong tone apparently. Sad

OP posts:
Shutupanddrive · 05/03/2012 08:16

The worst thing is he sill thinks you owe him an apology!! Shock

Shutupanddrive · 05/03/2012 08:16

Still

Calamityboo · 05/03/2012 08:17

Well you deserved it, people mess up sometimes, and get in the wrong lane sometimes, but ds definitely did not, he is an arse for doing that to ds!

Groovee · 05/03/2012 08:17

I think you were both as bad as one another.

buggyRunner · 05/03/2012 08:17

yanbu- I can understand him telling you to shut up and to an extent his initial reaction but to not pick you up and leave the two of you stranded.

he was being way out of order

ripsishere · 05/03/2012 08:21

Six of one, half a dozen of the other.
Out of interest, why weren't you driving?
I would add though, at his age he should be a bit more mature and consider your DS.

QueenSconetta · 05/03/2012 08:23

Tbh, the more I think about it, the more I think that behavior would be verging on a deal breaker for me :(

Original poster
Geordieminx · 05/03/2012 08:24

See the row I was out of order but I still don't see how a stupid disagreement over driving warrants ds and I being left, 20 miles away to make our own way home with no keys/coats (he knew). Don't think anyone deserves that, but then maybe I am too soft.

Yes, will be down to me to apologise. Always is. Sad

OP posts:
QueenSconetta · 05/03/2012 08:26

You are not too soft Geordie, a 4 year old left in early March with no coat? Nah. Bad form. What if you had had no money for fares home?

fluffiphlox · 05/03/2012 08:28

You're the one that got out of the car and laid down the challenge, which he took, and your child is stuck in the middle. Time to grow up for both of you, 48 or not

ChippingInNeedsCoffee · 05/03/2012 08:29

Blimey - I have no idea why you are getting a hard time. He was in the wrong lane, you told him which lane he needed - then he acted like a complete and utter idiot - firstly speaking to you like that (anyway, but especially with DS in the car), then leaving you there - I can't imagine being with someone who would do something so pathetic & nasty.

I hope you don't apologise to the manchild.

Original poster
Geordieminx · 05/03/2012 08:29

I had cards he knew that thankfully

OP posts:
QuietNinjaLamp · 05/03/2012 08:29

Don't apologise but when he's stopes sulking you need to have a chat about his reaction. Calmly. It's not on to leave you stranded.

Original poster
Geordieminx · 05/03/2012 08:31

I was trying to calm the situation and get ds away from it but I see tour point

OP posts:
QueenSconetta · 05/03/2012 08:33

I don't think you saying 'come find me when you can be civil' is comparable to him driving off, leaving you and not coming home til 7pm.

It would not have been ok for him to have hit you for speaking to him like that would it?

Whatmeworry · 05/03/2012 08:34

There is probably something leading up to this, eg whose idea was it to go shopping, ie was he doing you a favour? Driving somewhere with confusing lanes is hard, and the passenger doesnt always "get" all the other things you are watching, and IMO you did not read the cues well - but agree stranding a 4yo is not on.

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