Feeling uneasy regarding incident btwn DH & DS (10Months) - please tell me what you think

[StrangeButTrue]

I would really appreciate your thoughts on this.

A few weeks ago I asked DH to look after DS while I tidied up after tea. He went upstairs with DS, a few mins later I heard DS crying (distressed cry). As I was running up the stairs I heard DH repeatedly saying 'Bye Bye', I got to the top of the stairs - DS was shut in his bedroom, in the dark. DH said 'he's missing his daddy'.

I picked up & cuddled DS & told DH 'NO - he's not missing his daddy - he's bloody scared'
DH told me not to be so silly.

I can't shake off what happened. I would really like to hear what you think about this.

Fuck that's scary. Did he explain why he'd done it?.

Did he say why he did that?

Had he put DS in his cot or just in his room?

DaydreamDolly - no explanation, if anything, it was me who was at fault.

I ask the same question, why had he shut son in a dark room so quickly, no way he could have been ready for bed

I'm a bit confused - why did he put him in his bedroom? Was it a game? Was he punishing him? Was he trying to put him down to sleep? Or was he just being nasty? I think knowing why he did it would help me decide whether it was mad, bad or just a bit odd.

How old is your ds? Was your Dh putting him to bed? Otherwise why was he putting him in the dark? I'm confused.

What's your husband like generally? Kind or not?

TheresASpare - not in cot (not bed time),just in his room. DS is a very easy baby (I've been a mum for 22 years!!!) Only grizzly with his dad.

Why would he do that? How would your 'D'H feel if you put him in a dark room and locked the door (which is effectively what you're doing with a 10month old)?

sounds weird, and the fact that you have posted on here makes me think you know this isn't right.

It was only a few minutes after I had asked |DH to look after DS. Not bed time, just a bit of a play time while i tidied up.

Eh? So he placed the 10 month old into his bedroom- just plonked him on the floor or something? In the dark?

Sounds odd to me, and cruel. Is he normally like this with his DS?

How did your DH seem at the time- in a good mood? Angry? It sounds really weird, the only thing I can think of is that he was playing a kind of 'hide and seek'.

His dad is deliberately scaring him?

Words fail.

Does he think your DS doesn't seem to like him as much as you? Was putting him in a room on his own and letting him cry some kind of misguided attempt at making your DS 'want' him more? The comment about 'missing his daddy' sounds like he was trying to convince himself or you that DS needed him...

But worrying, yes. Very stupid and upsetting thing to do to the poor wee thing.

I'm trying to work it out.
.DS is very close to me - cries when I go out of the room, but is OK if he is with people he knows - his brothers, my mum. he only sees my mum once a week & if fine with her.

Was he planning to go back to him or just leave him in there?

Well have you questoined DH about it? Asked him why he did it? If he did it for kicks then his arse would be out if this were me.

I have to go out soon.

But - I think he was trying to scare him, I think DH is jealous of DS. that sounds mad, but that's what my instincts are saying. It was like a horrible game that I had interrupted. it was only for a few minutes. I feel guilty for putting DS in that situation.

Or am I just being OTT???

How long have you been with him and is he cruel with your other children?
I'd be extremely upset to put it mildly if it was me x

What is your DH like with your DS usually?

picnic - yes - i think thats what it was.

I hope you're not leaving Mr weird in charge whil you're out?

FWIW I don't think you're being OTT and you should trust your instincts.

What your (not so dear)h did would seem to be an deliberate act of cruelty and suspect that this is not the first time he's been unkind to your baby ds.