DP's emotional affair with friends DP, now 'innocent' photos on fb

[MudAndGlitter]

Bit of background- shortly after I had DS, DP became very close to his best friends pregnant partner. There were texts, facebook messages and they spent most of their time alone together. We split up as he said he had fallen in love with her but maintains all that happened was a kiss. She denies the kiss. He moved out and went to stay with best friend and this woman. They all fell out, he moved back in with me and we went on to have DD.

For the past year or so he's been back to being friends with his best friend and of course this means the woman as well. I've told him it makes me uncomfortable yet he refuses not to reply to her texts, answer her calls or stop going round there. I thought I could deal with it as I don't have any right to say he can't talk to someone.
I've just been on facebook and this woman has uploaded recent pics of her and my DP larking around- her bent over whilst he pretends to shag her (fully clothed) and him picking her up, piggyback and one of her and her friend kissing him on the cheek whilst he grins like a cheshire cat.

I feel really humiliated by it and like he's completely taken the piss. I know its innocent but he knows how I feel about her and everything thats gone on before. He's currently asleep on the sofa whilst I debate emailing the photos to him with the subject- pack your bags now.

I'm completely over reacting aren't I?

Beware OP - I feel this is the calm before the storm. He is acting very out of character from what you've told us. Either that or he is relieved you've ended it, save him having to. I would stop letting him in if I were you...I think he's up to something. Does he have access to your computer?

No he has no access to it. I'm torn between thinking he's relieved/planning something or trying to show me he's changed so I let him back.

I hope it will take a lot to convince you he's changed because he's treated you like shit so far. Stay strong - you deserve respect, he hasn't given you any.

Have you checked her FB in the last couple of days?

You know what I think?

I think he is so calm because he thinks he can have his cake and eat it.

I think he is pleased he is not at home as now has permission to see this woman as much as he likes. He can see her guilt free because horrible mud threw him out over something so innocent (being sarky by the way)

He then thinks because you forgave him last time you will do again whenever the fun ends this time around. He can snap his fingers and be welcomed with open arms.

So I think this suits him very well. Time off leaving you with all the responsibilities while he goes around doing his stupid shagging photos with her.then when that's over he can come back.

M&G, I am so impressed and proud of you for the action u have taken so far. Bravo. In my experience though they all get nasty when the relationship ends and u start calling the shots. If he locks you out and him and DCs in it may take weeks to resolve or at least days without your children til you get court orders.

M&G I am also really impressed by how well you are doing/coping but I do agree with Starwisher
I think he thinks he can do exactly as he wishes because you will always have him back. I hope you can continue the strength you have shown over the last few days and stick to your guns. Leopards don't change their spots and all that!
You know it will be hard and at times sit and cry wondering what the hell you have done - but take comfort in the fact that at the end of the day, you are the ones tucking your DC's into bed, kissing them goodnight and knowing you are looking after them as best you can - without having to have some sort of "mid-life crisis" in your 30's and that you are bigger and better than this. He has taken you for a complete prat mug in posting the pics on FB for all and sundry to see and speculate on what is still going on.
I wish you all the luck in the world and remember, all us here on MN are backing you all the way :)

Thank you. I did have a slight wobble yesterday but thinking about everything I'd never be able to look at him the same way again.
DCs still haven't noticed he's gone. I've been saying he's at work/gym but I'll explain properly once his furniture goes.

Dh is being a twat, and this woman is loving it. I would give him a choice, eithe rhe stops all contact with this woman (deletes and blocks her on facebook, does not reply to her texts, does not see her even in comapny of others etc), or he leaves. Why should you have uyou lif eunhappy. I would also downlaod the photos and make screenshots, incase you need them in a divorce.

sorry had not read entire post.
I think the only reason he is being calm is to try to show how unreasonable you are (you are not being unreasonable except in his mind), and he honestly thinks you will get back with him when you realise the errorof his ways. Tiem to start making this formal i.e with maintainence etc. I also suspect that his friend might be more chilly now he is single as he is much more of a threat.

Your dcs haven't noticed he's gone? That says it all Mud. You are all better off without him. You know you are better than this.

They have asked but assume he's at work. He's popped in too see them a few times so they don't really see a difference.

How's things Mud??