DP's emotional affair with friends DP, now 'innocent' photos on fb

[MudAndGlitter]

Bit of background- shortly after I had DS, DP became very close to his best friends pregnant partner. There were texts, facebook messages and they spent most of their time alone together. We split up as he said he had fallen in love with her but maintains all that happened was a kiss. She denies the kiss. He moved out and went to stay with best friend and this woman. They all fell out, he moved back in with me and we went on to have DD.

For the past year or so he's been back to being friends with his best friend and of course this means the woman as well. I've told him it makes me uncomfortable yet he refuses not to reply to her texts, answer her calls or stop going round there. I thought I could deal with it as I don't have any right to say he can't talk to someone.
I've just been on facebook and this woman has uploaded recent pics of her and my DP larking around- her bent over whilst he pretends to shag her (fully clothed) and him picking her up, piggyback and one of her and her friend kissing him on the cheek whilst he grins like a cheshire cat.

I feel really humiliated by it and like he's completely taken the piss. I know its innocent but he knows how I feel about her and everything thats gone on before. He's currently asleep on the sofa whilst I debate emailing the photos to him with the subject- pack your bags now.

I'm completely over reacting aren't I?

Totally agree with because - pile his stuff in binbags, put it outside the door, send a text to tell him where it is and that if he tried to enter YOUR house, you will call the police.

Engough is enough, OP, you CAN'T be happy to be the brunt of their jokes and for them to be making a fool of you. Surely?

If you have a chain on the door I'd put it on so he can't let himself in. Since he knows he's not welcome back in the house.

He's got DS with him. So I'm wary of saying he's out for good until DS is home IYKWIM. I doubt he'd try anything stupid but I'm still a bit wary.

If he is out of the house and the house is in your name, do you have the cash to call out a locksmith now?

this is awful! even if he is not sleeping with her he is talking about you, giving her license to mock you publicly, dismissing your feelings and laughing about them with her etc etc etc

what a wanker! you can do so much better.

please don't say he's a great father - great fathers do not act like this.

No, I will do tomorrow I'm just waiting for my tax rebate cheque to clear! Can I change council locks does anyone know?
Also all of DSDs stuff is here and I'm not sure what to do with that.

Santa- he's not a great father. He's only recently started looking after DS on his own.

can you contact sd or her mum direct to sort out about stuff?

no i don't think you can change council locks without their consent and i doubt they'd give it tbh. you can lock from inside obviously though with chains etc and thank goodness you didn't put him on the tenancy! is there anyone you could get to go and get the keys off of him?

I'm going to speak to MIL tomorrow about it and see what she comes up with. We don't have a chain but I can move a unit in front of the door until I can go get a door chain.
DSD is 4.5 so I might ask MIL if she'll take her things. I don't want to look as though DSD isn't welcome though, I've been in her life since she was 4 months old.

Poor children. Both your ds and your dsd. What utter shit behaviour from him.

Does he not consider the effects his arse-ish behaviour has on any of his children?

Where does dsd live? With you or with her mum?

What does his best friend think of your DP and his wifes behaviour????

MIL? are you married?

Yes you can change council locks BTW and I think you should as soon as he is out of the house

DPs mum was a bit of a mouthful so I usually shorten it to MIL. Sorry!
DSD lives with her mum now but us until she was 2. She's due here this weekend.

Your OH is a knob, and the OW needs a good slap (metaphorically speaking of course, just so the thread doesn't get de-railed again). How the hell have you stopped yourself commenting? You are prob right not to, but I don't think I could resist. Why should she get away with being a stroppy bitch?

Is her profile public and open;););)

Take your time, choose your moment, get the kids sorted - change the locks and dump his stuff on bin bags on THEIR doorstep!
xx

Can you call his ex and say change of plan, you and him are over so she should make other arrangements?

QS is right Mud, call exP and tell her now that the plans have to be changed.

Call MIL and explain, perhaps she can have DSD.

What an awful situation for you, but I have to agree with the others on this one.

Chin up now, it's time to extricate yourself from this and move on. Good luck.

You can change council locks - they only require you to give them the keys to the place if and when you leave - they don't hold copies. It's not like they're allowed to waltz in at any time: it's your home unless you're formally evicted.

You could possibly even ask them to change the locks for you, but quicker to do it yourself.

I agree with TeeBee Now send him one saying 'Oops,, I don't know how that eroneous 'tonight' got in there.' Pack his bags, bolt the door, and don't let him back in. Simple!

While he is out with DS, pack his bags (nicely or just thrown into black sacks - entirely up to you hun). Sort DS out (bath, bed, whatever) and once little one is in bed, tell him it's time to go.

For the OW to be putting yet more pics on FB and clearly mocking you is seriously taking more than the piss

You are worth so much more than this

I wouldn't be happy with pictures of my dh pretend shagging another woman on facebook even before the emotional affair bit and I am of the laid back, nothing wrong with men and women being friends persuasion..

He is in the wrong, without question.

What I would do is put his stuff together, put it in the car and then go over to their house and collect your ds and leave his stuff there. Then get the locks changed in the morning.

One thing that concerns me though is the fact the best friend seems either oblivious or perfectly comfortable with the situation. Do you think that he's part of the equasion? is your dp possibly bisexual?

And he does seem to have a bit of a habbit of leaving relationships while partners are pregnant - if your sd lived with you from four months what happened with the ex?

He mocking you and his "friend" and you are both letting him.

You are not over-reacting AT ALL

Get rid.

Fast.

If DP's best friend isn't Bi, then he's seriously stupid, or gets off on his OH shagging another man?

Am so angry for you. You are handling this much better than I ever could.

OMG what a bastard!!! and her aswell.

Does her DP know about the pics on FB? Does he know about the 'in love' bit too? if not id be very well informing him about her too.

As for your DP the tenancy is in your name, kick him out.

good gravy! you are not over reacting. if my DP told me he was in love with someone else, him never seeing her again/contacting her would be a condition of working on the relationship and letting him move back in.

But this is insult to injury. He really doesn't appear to care how you feel. As others have said, i would pack his bags and tell him to fuck off.

what a cock! poor you. good luck.

OP

Are you going to finally bin this inadequate man ?

Or carry on being "outraged" at his piss-taking of you (and doing nothing) ?