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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Just found a condom wrapper

582 replies

KissMyShineyRedA · 20/12/2011 14:54

I'm freaking out. As some of you know my DP went on a business trip. He borrowed my bag for hand luggage. I've just found the corner piece of a condom wrapper. I don't know what to do. I need to ask him face-to-face. Is there any way this could be innocent?! Help

OP posts:
ohanotherone · 21/12/2011 20:36

Is slade playing????

Saturdaynightsprout · 21/12/2011 20:39

Shouldn't you be on the TOTP2 thread ohanotherone? Xmas Grin

makeyerowndamndinner · 21/12/2011 20:39

Another poster wishing you all the very best. Take care of yourself Kiss.

mumblecrumble · 21/12/2011 20:41

Thinking about you kiss.

Best of luck

ohanotherone · 21/12/2011 20:47

I've given my FWIW advice below and I have my glass held aloft Wine and Red has my full moral support.

ohanotherone · 21/12/2011 20:48

Sorry I meant kiss but was looking at the wine....I'll shut up now....

chocolateyclur · 21/12/2011 20:52

Good luck

RJRabbit · 21/12/2011 21:05

red ruby shoes what a lovely post

Good luck Kiss. I hope it's good news you come back with

Original poster
KissMyShineyRedA · 21/12/2011 21:10

Well. He came in and went to kiss me, I said I feel sick. He asked why. I asked when you went away did you share a room? No. I said well I found this.

As you all probably guessed, he says it's nothing to do with him. His reaction wasn't defensive or angry. He was like 'oh my god, how did that get in there, what an awful thing to find' then he laughed but not a har dee har laugh, more of a 'fuck this looks bad' laugh.

He said he has no idea. He was very sympathetic, saying how awful for me to find that and agreed he would've freaked out too if he found it.

I prodded him further, nothing. He said he's sorry but he has no answers as he didn't do anything.

He is convinced it was there before as it's such a small piece.

He was very convincing. I can smell a rat a mile off usually. But his reaction seemed very honest.

I knew this would happen.

OP posts:
LEttletownofBOFlehem · 21/12/2011 21:12

Hmm. Tricky.

befuzzled · 21/12/2011 21:12

hmmmm so how did you leave it?did he get angry that you would suspect him at all? Completely calm sounds abit suspicious to me, as does raging - somewhere in the middle may be good?

Bibbo · 21/12/2011 21:13

Oh dear.

Well, you know him. Am sure you can judge his reactions.

It isn't enough evidence on its own, is it.

momnipotent · 21/12/2011 21:14

You don't have to decide anything today, remember that.
What does your gut tell you?

ohanotherone · 21/12/2011 21:14

I'm sorry, you are none the wiser really. What is your gut instinct????

ripitupandstartagain · 21/12/2011 21:15

I think you'd know if he was lying. His body language would have given it away. I still don't believe it is necessarily dodgy.

PeppermintParsonsNose · 21/12/2011 21:15

Oh crap. As in oh crap to not getting a definitive one way or the other. Perhaps you'll have to tell him your thought processes, or some of them, and have another go. I would, but then I'm a dog with a bone with this sort of stuff.

eandz · 21/12/2011 21:15

is there anyway the housekeeping could have dropped it into the bag --the cleaning carts sometimes do drop trash and he could have put the bag near the door? (I am clutching at straws, but maybe benefit of the doubt until you have more conclusive evidence?)

Saturdaynightsprout · 21/12/2011 21:16

Has he gone already?

Original poster
KissMyShineyRedA · 21/12/2011 21:19

My gut believes him.

He said he loves me so much and we've got so much to look forward to as in going away, moving in together and he would never jeopardise that by doing something stupid.

He also said if he was to, he wouldn't have been able to keep it to himself and would've either told me or ended it.

OP posts:
Original poster
KissMyShineyRedA · 21/12/2011 21:19

He's gone to get food

OP posts:
Original poster
KissMyShineyRedA · 21/12/2011 21:21

I started crying as I was confused as I believe him but don't know how it got in there. He feels awful.

He maintained eye contact, didn't look guilty at all throughout, even when I asked him straight out

OP posts:
momnipotent · 21/12/2011 21:21

Next time he goes away on business, how do you think you might feel?

Original poster
KissMyShineyRedA · 21/12/2011 21:22

I don't know, I've always trusted him.

OP posts:
Doha · 21/12/2011 21:24

liar lair pants on fire

The piece of condom package just jumped into YOUR case all of a sudden. It was there from the start from when you last used your bag...

Something just doesn't sit right OP
Something smells fishy

Original poster
KissMyShineyRedA · 21/12/2011 21:25

Sorry guys, I know this is the typical ending of these threads. Man denies, woman believes yadda yadda

OP posts: