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Original poster

Just found a condom wrapper

582 replies

KissMyShineyRedA · 20/12/2011 14:54

I'm freaking out. As some of you know my DP went on a business trip. He borrowed my bag for hand luggage. I've just found the corner piece of a condom wrapper. I don't know what to do. I need to ask him face-to-face. Is there any way this could be innocent?! Help

OP posts:
Bluebelle38 · 21/12/2011 21:26

Not all people go on the defensive when accused. Odd he would go out for food after something like this? No? Get head togther?

I dunno, it comes down to you hon and what you believe (and want to belive) but the end of a condom wrapper in a bag after a trip away... not normal, that's all I'll say.

Could have been accidently caught up in clothes after a night of whatever and being careless... I'm sorry, but him going off for food at a time like this is plain weird in my book when your relationship hangs in the balance.

Even if you told him to go, who would at a time like this?

I'm sorry :(

momnipotent · 21/12/2011 21:27

Now you're in a limbo that is even worse! You have no answers and, if he is up to something, he knows you 'know' so will be extra-careful.

Ugh. Could easily drive myself mad in that situation.

Saturdaynightsprout · 21/12/2011 21:28

What food has he gone to get? How long is he going to be? I've been here for the whole threat Kiss and it's starting to sound very fishy?

bigfatgypsy · 21/12/2011 21:30

I usually think that it's telling what a person doesn't say rather than what they do say, and when confronted with something they either clam up and dont say much, or talk far too much and ramble.

Unless of course they're telling the truth in which case they talk normally and genuinely. Which tbh does sound like the case here? I think you really have to spell it out how upset this has made you and he really needs to let you know that nothing's going on. Not just forget about it. Make sure he knows how you feel and ask him how he'd feel if it was the other way round.

Kyte · 21/12/2011 21:31

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Saturdaynightsprout · 21/12/2011 21:31

Why didn't you go with him?

Kyte · 21/12/2011 21:33

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Kyte · 21/12/2011 21:34

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
KissMyShineyRedA · 21/12/2011 21:34

It's much older.

He's just gone to pick up something from local chippy.

If I disappear it's because we're talking, I'm not avoiding the thread. This isn't over yet.

OP posts:
OldLadyKnowsSantaClaus · 21/12/2011 21:34

The bag had never been used, except for shoe storage.

befuzzled · 21/12/2011 21:35

did you use condomes in previous relationships when you had that bag?

Kyte · 21/12/2011 21:35

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PeppermintParsonsNose · 21/12/2011 21:36

Kiss don't worry about "typical endings"! You're not here to satisfy anyone's bloodlust. We want you to have a resolution, you must be feeling sick x

momnipotent · 21/12/2011 21:37

I don't think going for food is a bad sign either. Sometimes if DH and I are having an intense convo one of us will go out to pick up something to eat, just to give us both a chance to collect our thoughts. Of course, if he scrambled to take the phone with him so he could do some serious deleting, then that's a different thing...

pollyblue · 21/12/2011 21:37

So possibly, if the bag was under your bed for yonks, and open, the condom wrapper could've got into it that way?

DeckTheHugeWithBoughsOfManatee · 21/12/2011 21:37

OP, if you believe him then hide this thread now and get in with your relationship rather than speculating on the Internet with a bunch of randoms. All kinds of people will try to persuade you to doubt him otherwise.

I'm glad you confronted him and got a straight response. Hope it all works out ok for you Smile

Saturdaynightsprout · 21/12/2011 21:40

Put lots of vinegar on your chips. That'll help Xmas Grin

overmydeadbody · 21/12/2011 21:43

From what you've said so far Kiss things are sounding good. He's gone for food, nothing wrong with that, he's acting normal, he's calm and rational, not getting defensive or making light of it.

I'm sure you will talk loads tonight, go with your gut instinct, if it tells you he is being honest then he probably is.

I once found my sister's passport in the bottom of my bag that she borrowed years before and I had used many times since. She had reported the passport as missing and got a new one. I had emptied and loaded the bag loads of times before it slipped out of the lining where it had been hiding.

MollieO · 21/12/2011 21:43

I'd still want to see his phone...

HairyNigel · 21/12/2011 21:46

Maybe he does think he loves you and all that other stuff he spurted out, that still doesn't explain how the condom wrapper got there. You've said you both don't use condoms and that the bag was empty when you gave it to him, I think at one point you said you showed him the bars on the bottom of the bag?

I really cant see why he would have a posh wank, and if he had he surely would have admitted it when you questioned.
I don't see how a bit of condom wrapper would jump out the rubbish bag on the cleaning trolley and into the bottom of your bag.

I'm sorry Kiss, but I have cheated once before and when questioned by exP about it I lied through my teeth, calm as you like. I could look him in the eye and all that crap cos I thought I loved him and didn't want to hurt him Confused My point is, you do what you have to do when it comes to telling fibs. I would not believe him one bit.

I can see why you want to though and how it must be hard for you. It's so close to christmas and you're all excited about moving in together. Just at least spend a couple of days sleeping on it.

imaginethat · 21/12/2011 21:46

Oh I am pleased to read that you two have talked and that you are feeling relieved. I hope things just continue well for you both. Keep talking, keep being open, it's the best way x

calypso2008 · 21/12/2011 21:48

I believe him OP. If you do too, just let it go now. Look forward. You have been very strong and his reaction seems to me like he if totally telling the truth, now you have to decide to have faith in him or not, and stick to it. :)

StealthPolarBear · 21/12/2011 21:49

agree with DeckTheHuge. You've asked him, he's said he doesn't know, you believe him. If you have any doubt, follow that up, but if you don't - if you genuinely do believe him, then just forget this ever happened. I am right in thinking he's never given you any reason to suspect something like this before? The "how odd" reaction seems rightish for if he's not guilty of anything. And I know that if similar happened to me, I'd happily file it away as one of those weird things. Assuming DH had given me absolutely no other reason for doubting him.

SnowFunIntended · 21/12/2011 21:50

Could a colleague wanting to cause him trouble have slipped the wrapper in his bag?

HairyNigel · 21/12/2011 21:51

I'm not trying to bring a downer on you Kiss, I just know how easy it is to just go along with what you've been told to avoid any further drama. You seem so lovely and I dont want you to get hurt.