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Original poster

Just found a condom wrapper

582 replies

KissMyShineyRedA · 20/12/2011 14:54

I'm freaking out. As some of you know my DP went on a business trip. He borrowed my bag for hand luggage. I've just found the corner piece of a condom wrapper. I don't know what to do. I need to ask him face-to-face. Is there any way this could be innocent?! Help

OP posts:
Original poster
KissMyShineyRedA · 20/12/2011 14:59

Does anyone have a good link for signs of cheating. He has been taking his phone with him a lot, like to the toilet but I know he plays games on it.

I've NEVER had reason to not trust him. Hes not a 'ladies man' or flirty at all. I don't actually believe this and I'm not crying or anything because I think there must be a reasonable explanation

OP posts:
HairyNigel · 20/12/2011 15:00

Is there any back story to this, is he normally untrustworthy?

I can't see an innocent explanation but I'm guessing he'll be able to make one up.

fuzzynavel · 20/12/2011 15:00

How long have you had the bag?

Lovingfreedom · 20/12/2011 15:01

Probably not but get a bit more evidence before you talk to him - he'll deny it based on that alone and you'll end up believing him. Would put money on some juicy texts coming in this evening IF something happened. Wait for those before you confront him. Keep hold of the corner whatever you do, don't lose it! Good luck.

MudAndGlitter · 20/12/2011 15:01

You'll have to ask him and judge from the response. Or steal his phone and check it.

Blu · 20/12/2011 15:02

Are you sure it is from a condom wrapper, not one of those hand wipe towelettes they hand out on planes, for example?

HairyNigel · 20/12/2011 15:02

How possesive with his phone is he? I take mine to the loo with me but I'm careless with it the rest of the time as I have nothing to hide. What would he say if you asked to borrow his phone?

FatGoose · 20/12/2011 15:02

dont jump to conclusions
tell him what you found and ask him

then take it from there

wahwahwah · 20/12/2011 15:02

Just a corner. Could it be something else? I am thinking of soap or cream that you get in individual pouches that I take with me when I am Way for a few days.

windsorTides · 20/12/2011 15:04

FGS don't confront till you've checked that phone, otherwise you'll get some old bollocks about lending the bag to a mate while he was there, or that they thought it would be a blast to blow up a few condoms as 'christmas balloons'.

Act normal, be smart and don't blurt it out till you've found other evidence.

NotTheBlinkingGruffaloAgain · 20/12/2011 15:05

Is it out of the blue?
Give it a few weeks whilst he isn't aware you're suspicious so you can check his phone laptop/ bank statements I hope it's nothing. Smile

Lovingfreedom · 20/12/2011 15:06

I believe there is something called a 'posh w*nk' that involves using a condom and is apparently very popular and is a possible (innocent) explanation. Texts will tell you though.

Original poster
KissMyShineyRedA · 20/12/2011 15:07

It's definitely a durex wrapper, it has that on it.

I've had the bag for two years but ive never used it.

We don't use condoms.

He's not that possessive of his phone, he leaves it around sometimes but not often and the other day he left the room and came back for it.

OP posts:
Original poster
KissMyShineyRedA · 20/12/2011 15:09

What if I check his phone and there's nothing, what if he deletes dodgy messages straight away? Im shaking. We are moving in together in january

OP posts:
Original poster
KissMyShineyRedA · 20/12/2011 15:10

My sister suggested it may be a posh wank. I don't think he does that as he doesn't have any condoms at his house

OP posts:
HairyNigel · 20/12/2011 15:11

Just bide your time, don't let him know you suspect anything. It could be totally innocent, you never know.

I know it's hard but if you let him think you're none the wiser to anything, if he is up to something he will get lackse with it and let things slip. Then you will have your answer
x

Original poster
KissMyShineyRedA · 20/12/2011 15:11

I was surprised he wasn't very 'in the mood' when he got back. We hadn't had sex for two weeks so thought he would be, but we tried and he went floppy - sorry.

OP posts:
Mutt · 20/12/2011 15:12

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

madeupstuff · 20/12/2011 15:12

People always forget to delete their sent messages (assuming that they're recorded and dependant on 'phone / settings).

Just saying.

worldgonecrazy · 20/12/2011 15:12

I am pondering how it came to be in his bag? It does seem an odd thing to be there - if he was having an affair and using condoms it would most likely have ended up in the bin, or on the floor of the hotel room. I doubt that it would have ended up in your bag, especially if he was having an illicit affair.

It is probably nothing and there is an innocent explanation. (And that is coming from someone who usually presumes the worst in these situations.)

Is it definitely a condom wrapper?

GeriManda · 20/12/2011 15:13

Why would it be in the bag though?

windsorTides · 20/12/2011 15:13

I forgot to mention the 'posh wank' myth.

Check everywhere on the phone. Photos, the log and any phone bills if you can access them. Only when you've checked everything else, confront - but come on here before you do so!

Original poster
KissMyShineyRedA · 20/12/2011 15:15

Definately worldgonecrazy it says durex and I can see a bit of writing saying 'ubricated' and 'dom'

I'm wondering how it ended up there too if it was a one niggtnstand or something too.

He has an iPhone so messages are all looped together madeup

OP posts:
Mutt · 20/12/2011 15:16

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Lovingfreedom · 20/12/2011 15:16

Most people don't delete messages like that because they like to look back over them. They only start deleting them once they have been caught. Important not to let on that you suspect anything as it's much easier to find evidence before he suspects that you suspect (IYSWIM). Act as normal as you can. If there's nothing on the phone then that is a good sign - not 100% proof that nothing's gone on but better than if there are messages there. Don't confront just with the condom wrapper. Keep that for now.