Husband making friends with young women on facebook......

[Facebookisforlosers]

Long story short....

Husband been a dick in the past, never cheated that I know of but I wouldn't be surprised.
We're both 37.

He's new to facebook, emailling one old female friend pages lots of smileys and ggls.(it's fucking lols)
He's now made friends with a girl from work who is 23 and looks like a stripper, pages of photos in lipstick lesbian poses, tiny clothes, short skirts.....

I'm making no assumptions about this girl and think she woudn't be interested in H. But AIBU to think that a 37yr father of four, married, is a tad pathetic to request fb friendship with a woman who he barely works with?

Only read page 1 so far and I agree with proudnscary (as I frequently do, I am finding.)

How on earth is SHE sending any message?

Oh come on Squeaky, we all portray ourselves in a particular way.

I think it's churlish to assume that any objection to OP's DH's actions is borne of jealousy.

On the plus side, I have nearly completed my anti-feminist bingo card

I got two lines.

Eyes down

See op judging by your comments. It says more about you rather than her. If your husband is a shit. Show your disdain to him not her.

Fwiw, as I can see the clique circling. Ready to mock and bully people who have an opposing pov, as per. Again says a lot about the women posting.

I don't have anything against feminism or feminists. I do when it's used as an excuse to bully other women and basically chuck around bad words and judgement. Which is what is happening here.

Women being derogatory to a 23 yo they have never met. Hypocritical and nasty.

I haven't used one single bad word.

Not even 'cunt'. And I use that one a lot.

Who said I was talking about you? I'm talking about this thread as a whole, posters collectively.

But you implied that anyone who had talked about feminism was using it as an "excuse to bully other women and basically chuck around bad words and judgement. Which is what is happening here."

I talked about feminism and I haven't done that.

Quite a lot of people are bullying the OP who seems to be in a very difficult position with her husband.

Facebook forget about this young woman on Facebook. It looks to me like you are using your thoughts about her as a distraction from thinking about how bad your relationship is.

I'm intrigued to know how the OP seems to have access to so many people's FB accounts...her DH's, a colleagues, or is it all bullshit?

No I didn't imply that, I never said everyone.

The way other woman have discussed this girl is outrageous. They need to forget her, she has done wrong.

If he is a shit, he is a shit and op needs to address that.

Fwiw telling op she is bang out if order to talk about this girl in this manner, and encouraging others to do so. Is not bullying. How op describes this female. That is the language of a bully.

*done NO wrong.

Poppycock. The way I describe her gives people an accurate description of what she looks like not who she is. The point of which was to more directly pinpoint the reason for my DH's involvement and my disapproval.

I dont think DH having some one as a face book friend would worry me - though having said this I regularly point out to my daughter the importance of a) having only decent pictures of her on public view and b) deleting friends who look dodgy in their pictures.
The having only decent pictures on view bit is hard, as after every night out some wag puts up the photos on face book and if the name is tagged they then automatically show up on the profile and you cant untag them: you have to ask the person who tagged the photo to untag them.

Much more dangerous would be if your DH used facebook to chat to the aforesaid young lady. This would be the same as a private correspondence in my view and would be worrying and a reason to quietly go on his facebook when he leaves it open by mistake and delete her (all is fair in love and war), or else have an open conversation with him about what you would and wouldn't find acceptable on facebook. Alternatively you could have a row about it and clear the air that way, as during the row you could mention the debt and his other failings etc.

It's astounds me that there are so many on here making ridiculous comments such as your being "insecure" "homophobic" and "ageist." I know EXACTLY where you are coming from, and frankly I don't give rat's behind what any of those politically correct types think. What your husband did by adding that young woman is WRONG. And you feel the way you do because you KNOW that what he is doing is WRONG. Social media is now a platform for emotional/fantasy cheating, point blank and ~PERIOD~
Back in the day a person would have to actually go and see a person of interest, now it's just a click away. So easy.
Let's not forget about the "sugar babies" running around out there. Sugar babies are a result of politically correct a-holes who want to believe that life is a free for all and if you have any reservations or conversations then your a "place ridiculous judgement here."
It's inappropriate for him to have her on his Facebook. That's it, I said it and if the snowflakes in here don't like it TOO BAD.
If you have talked to your husband about this "friendship" and he retaliates, protects, or makes up excuses. Your intuition is correct, he's hiding how he feels about said relationship.
I can't say what's behind it, is it an office crush? Is it her flirting with him and giving him attention and he's responding? Is it he secretly likes to view her in a way that he doesn't see in the office? Is it that she makes him feel young and reckless? Is it an actual office affair?
The fact remains, he's YOUR husband. His job is to protect the institution of marriage, to be open, to help you feel safe, emotionally safe.
Snowflakes on here will disagree, in a very EMOTIONAL way. They get all negatively emotional and whiny about you having a negative feeling about something you are uncomfortable with in your marriage. Hypocrites.
Check his messenger. If you type in her name, any and all communications between them will pop up. Just ask him if you can have a look. Or, do like I did. Just pick up the phone and look. I didn't care what my husband thought of it. I found plenty of inappropriate material on my husband's phone enough times that I now know he is emotionally unfaithful, and ogles. yuk.
Men that hide their content from their wives are LIARS. The are deceptive. They live one way with you, and another way online.
It's disgusting.
I'm here to validate your feelings. Everyone else? Go have a sugar honey ice tea day. :)

9 year old zombie.

9 years from the dead, good point though domesticgypsie

I think if was a thread from today a lot more women would be telling her not to put up with the sleaze ball.

Zombie thread....However, what's he done wrong? He works with her, it's normal, so he's supposed to judge her from her facebook picture and only befriend women who are covered from their neck to their toes and over the age of 40? Ridiculous. Trust is another matter entirely, if you don't trust him then end it, if you do then what does it matter if he has a young woman on his facebook?