Husband making friends with young women on facebook......

[Facebookisforlosers]

Long story short....

Husband been a dick in the past, never cheated that I know of but I wouldn't be surprised.
We're both 37.

He's new to facebook, emailling one old female friend pages lots of smileys and ggls.(it's fucking lols)
He's now made friends with a girl from work who is 23 and looks like a stripper, pages of photos in lipstick lesbian poses, tiny clothes, short skirts.....

I'm making no assumptions about this girl and think she woudn't be interested in H. But AIBU to think that a 37yr father of four, married, is a tad pathetic to request fb friendship with a woman who he barely works with?

I wonder what he's looking for, actually, from her friendship

Why is he looking for anything?

There are no rules to say that people can only be friends with others who are the same age as them, or act the same.

He works with her. They probably have mutual facebook friends.

I really would not see it as any big deal at all unless they were swapping flirty exchanges or behaving inappropriately, which from what has been posted, there is no evidence of this.

If my husband was to dictate to me who I could be friends with, he would soon get told to mind his own business. I have friends of all ages on my facebook, male and female, as does he.

I socialise with friends of all ages, from people in their 20's to people in their 60's, from all walks of life, backgrounds, different personalities. I find it quite interesting to have a broad range of friends, rather than compartmentalise my age and let it dictate who I should associate with.

Pure jealousy end of story, THAT is one reason women will NEVER be the same as men, we are wired differently.

So now we are discriminating against single people are we, or better looking people never mind just younger? what a joke, pure DOUBLE STANDARDS when it suits!!!!!

Funny you say that Manat. As my DH is not happy with me being friends with a couple of his male colleagues that have been here for dinner....

If he friended the whole office floor, or whole team that would be different but out of 100 employees he's chosen about 20. They're either quite close male colleagues or random young women.

I've only realised recently that Manat is a man, I thought it was a nod to the sea cow!!

my dh an make friends with whomever he likes

becuase i tell him daily how awesome I am and what a lucky bastard he is

nothing more off putting IMVHO than a clingy ' oh don't ever leave me' saddo type

if you tell them that you could leave any time, but you choose not too, ime, it makes the difference.

sure husband - you go off and fuck a 22 yr old stripper look alike - but be fully aware, i can do that also, and whilst you might like the idea of sticking your cock in young pussy, just remember,,,,,,i could get young cock in mine!

i tend to find partners and husbands dont think that you can have sex with other people too

so its best to remind them that your not trapped - this relationship is a choice.

and yes i hae been exactly that crude to dh

think that you can't have sex...

She says he has never cheated in the past that she knows of, and he hasnt actually done anything wrong here with this 23yo woman. I would be more concerned about the rekindling of a relationship with the woman from his past than frothing about a young women and snooping through her photos to insult her.

CBA, i think people get the point

I would certainly not be happy with my wife being over friendly with my male colleagues, although I am now retired , but I am not the one preaching about women be equal, homophobia being bad e.t.c. I just get on with life and accept people as they are although I may choose not to mix with certain types out of MY choice. I may have 'old fashioned' views, but who the hell or what minority has the right to force me to accept their un Christian way of life. I am all for live and let live but the way this forum has been infiltrated by minorities who seem to shout the loudest forcing their views on others makes me sick.

I think it makes your dh look a bit sleazy and I would respect my dh less if he did this. It reminds me of middle aged men in nightclubs pretending they like the music and trying to impress the young women (who secretly think they are a bit pathetic). There comes a point where you should stop trying so hard to be in with the 'in' crowd and 'cool' by association and just accept that you are a grown up, with kids of your own, and not a 22 year old singleton. Move on, instead of harking back to the glory days.

It's kind of sad if he doesn't appreciate the lovely life stage he's at now and hankers after the stage that is gone.

I'm not snooping through her photos they're on her profile page.

I'm not a saddo who pines for her DH, this is not a 'frightened he'll cheat and leave me' moment, this is a losing respect moment.

I remember being 23 and finding married men trying to fit in pretty pathetic, but I didn't have facebook then.....THANK GOD.

Karma....spot on.

I agree with custard, what is good for the goose e.t.c. My wife knows where her bread is buttered, she is damn lucky to have me, she could still be on the shelf (joke).

Anyway, where is the evidence of previous bad behaviour, typical women jumping to conclusions! Stinks of insecurity, why not get a gym membership and get toned, I am actually thinking of doing that myself

Go and give him a big hug and let him know you love him, I am going to do the same to my wife, we all need a hug and reassurance now and again!

He's the bloke who went out without me post babies, his fun was all without me. So those issues had subsided, but now he's losing weight and perhaps he's wanting to fit in with the single crowd again.

But this is more about being in the same place than scared of him leaving.

And if all that's keeping me here is commitment to this life in unity and we don't have unity then I'll have to rethink,. I can't respect someone that I'm with that I would have laughed at in my youth.

FFS Manat. It's not weird insecurities. My DH gets the better deal, I'm more attractive, intelligent, funny, friendly than him.

I think you deserve so much more than you seem to be getting here. It's really awful that he has all his fun without you. I'm not saying that couple should always be joined at the hip, but really your partner should want to be with you more than they want to be out with other people. Otherwise, they might as well stay single.

I truly hope that you've been having some fun over the years too, and not stuck at home with the dc while he carries on as if nothing has changed.

I think that respect is maybe more important than love. I would find it very hard to love someone that I had no respect for and lack of respect destroys any sexual attraction you had for a person (imo anyway).

It's one thing to be losing weight etc, to feel better about himself and be healthier - no one would take issue with that, but if he's doing it to be more attractive to other women and to fit in with single people, then that is a very real problem. It does sound as if he wants something very different to what he has.

37yrs old, could you be having a mid life crisis? I think you have deep rooted insecurity and are jealous that he seems to be getting on with life, maybe less snooping and 'thoughts' would help and start enjoying life 'together'. It's the weekend, why not suggest you go and have some fun together, go for a nice walk, watch a film, have a laugh reliving your youth, be daft, chill,out.

Good luck, life is short enough, there are women almost weekly who are told their husbands have been killed at war, go give him a big hug, they won't get that chance again! (from someone who has been to war and truly appreciates life)

Manathome, while you have a point about couples having fun together, from a personal pov, I would be more disposed to hugging a husband who was loyal to me, than one who seemed to be hankering after a different life.