Husband making friends with young women on facebook......

[Facebookisforlosers]

Long story short....

Husband been a dick in the past, never cheated that I know of but I wouldn't be surprised.
We're both 37.

He's new to facebook, emailling one old female friend pages lots of smileys and ggls.(it's fucking lols)
He's now made friends with a girl from work who is 23 and looks like a stripper, pages of photos in lipstick lesbian poses, tiny clothes, short skirts.....

I'm making no assumptions about this girl and think she woudn't be interested in H. But AIBU to think that a 37yr father of four, married, is a tad pathetic to request fb friendship with a woman who he barely works with?

I think those focusing on the age difference thing are missing the point?

OPs husband hasn't added a huge swathe of people of whom the young girl is one- he's specifically looked for her, and others. Which is a bit ick IMO

Flaming heck!!! YABVVVVVVVVU

OP YOU ARE ONE OF THE WOMAN RESPONSIBLE FOR LOSING ME ALL MY FRIENDS THAT I WOULD NEVER DREAM OF SLEEPING WITH!

It is women like you who stop guys talking to friends they have had for years and years, because you are threatened by a little bit of cleveage and lipstick (not that I wear lipstick or even have a fb photo).

Get a grip and get the hell over your securities. Since when did adding someone on FB equal shagging and cheating? Or even close.

Maybe I should just walk around in a burqa, never allowed to mix with men, never mind, god forbid, be friendly to them.

Give your DH the benefit of the doubt.

Bloody hell, if I worried about who my other half had on FB, I'd have had a nervous breakdown by now, especially since I know a couple of the girls are a little 'mental' (think showing inappropriate photos to all - my DH usually tells me and shows me, a) so he knows I know theres nothing funny going on and b) cos it scares the living daylights out of him at times and he doesn't quite know what to make of it!).

And actually, I have no problem with DH admiring other women if it takes his fancy. Its harmless and healthy. I am not the only woman in the world, and I would be a bit worried, if he only found me attractive. Thing is, its just looking. I know he loves me for my appearance, my personality, all the experiences and times we've shared, the common interests we have etc. I trust him.

I suggest you start trusting your DH.

OPs husband hasn't added a huge swathe of people of whom the young girl is one- he's specifically looked for her, and others. Which is a bit ick IMO

for fecks sakes.. he KNOWS her, he WORKS with her... he didnt go stalking her for gods sakes!

Where on earth from anything that the OP has posted can you deduce that he is collecting a harem of scantily clad young women.. it just is not in the thread at all!

What makes me laugh is how the OP is judging the girl on a few photographs of her on a night out?

I'm sure she doesn't dress like she's going clubbing all the time. I don't imagine she strikes random 'lipstick lesbian poses' when trundling round Sainsbos looking for BOGOFs on washing up liquid

I don't know about anyone else, but when I'm shopping/reading a book/working/cooking dinner...I always forget to ask someone to take a photo of me?!?

Therefore, most of my photos tend to be taken in pubs/clubs.

I am also looking forward to watching "I'm a Celebrity" starting tomorrow, and will be happily ogling the beauty of Mark Wright... who is quite a few years younger than me... my husband will be watching it too, and I expect he will admire the bodies of whichever young attractive women are in it... it doesnt bother me in the slightest. I would be more worried if he was lusting after Lorraine Chase or Chrissy Rock, both of who are nearer his age.

There is nothing wrong in finding an adults body attractive, no matter how much age difference there is. There is also no crime being committed by being friends with a member of the opposite sex. There is nothing at all to hint that Ops husband fancies these women, or is actively pursuing them, or they him. It is just insecurity and jealousy on the part of the OP.

He'll be sadly disappointed Squeaky...the average age of contestants is 48 this year

Op: speaking as a human with a pulse, I'd say he's making friends with these women because he fancies them and wants some cyber sex.

End of.

Erm, it's not women who are responsible for you losing any male friends QuietlyAfraid, unless you believe that men have no minds of their own and are the victims of nasty, bullying women......

I think this is yet another thread where some posters misunderstand feminism and take a contrary approach just for the sake of it.

OP it doesn't matter what other posters find acceptable in their relationships, or that they trust their partners. What matters is your relationship and the trust within it. You are entitled to feel diminished respect for your husband's online flirting and you're also entitled to feel less respect for women who think it's 'empowering' to embrace the porn and lapdancing culture.

This thread really has absolutely nothing to do with feminism though, and I truly hope it does not turn into a feminist vs "whatever you want to call anyone else" argument. Yet again.

Nor is it an argument about porn... seeing as there is no porn involved... there isnt even any flirting involved either from what I can see.

I'm glad I've got a husband who likes beautiful and intelligent women, not silly young girls who feel they have to live up to the media's image of perfection, which in my eyes is really quite ugly and plastic.

OP, perhaps you'd like to repost in Mandarin Chinese, or perhaps Swahili? It seems like 95% have completely misunderstood what you are saying anyway.

Couldn't agree more squeakytoy. Not exactly sure why Charbon was quoting feminism at my post. I think she's obsessed.

Erm, it's not women who are responsible for you losing any male friends QuietlyAfraid, unless you believe that men have no minds of their own and are the victims of nasty, bullying women......

I can think of at least two of my male friends who are more than a little hen pecked. Which has been commented on - by men. I have also been told, that their mrs's had 'issues' with me being friendly with them; for no apparent reason other than I'm female and they thought it inappropriate. So go figure. Apparently I must have been giving out vibes that I was desperate to get my end away with their not so attractive OHs. Really nice guys, but seriously do nothing for me, no thanks.

Anyway long live feminism and women who dress like strippers on FB.

How do you know this girl isn't intelligent Mal? You've never even SEEN her, let alone spoken to her.

I'm glad I've got a husband who likes beautiful and intelligent women, not silly young girls who feel they have to live up to the media's image of perfection, which in my eyes is really quite ugly and plastic

Indeed...but what does that have to do with the 23yr old young lady the OP is talking about?

Or are you suggesting you know her IQ from a few photos taken on a night out?

Mal, that is a very unfair comment.

I am saddened by the negative comments being thrown at this 23yo who has done absolutely nothing wrong other than to be a facebook friend to a colleague. This could be my daughter, or any of your daughters.

How would you feel if you knew your adult daughter was being described in the way this young woman has been on here. Its bloody awful.

It sounds to me like you don't like your DH very much OP, by how you write about him :(

I haven't made any dispariging comments about the young woman in particular
It was simply an observation on the kind of men who find the Nuts/Zoo look desirable, it says something not very nice about them, imo and it does annoy me that young women buy into this distorted body image crap, it's every bit as psychologicallly damaging as pro-anorexia sites etc.

So, if you're not making comments about this woman, why are you talking about women in Nuts?

It is absolutely not comparable to pro-anorexia sites at all.

Anorexia is a life threatening illness. Being slim, and wanting to look like you are being photographed in Nuts isnt.

You called her a "silly young girl". That is dismissive and patronising to a young woman who has done nothing wrong.

So young women who dress in a particular way, are buying into distorted body image crap. If they want to 'dress like strippers' perhaps they just LIKE dressing like that?

Its not the older women who have the problem with it then? Its all about Nuts readers and not the godawful magazine or newspaper she's reading either.

I do despite the idea that women who dress a certain way are a certain type of woman and behave in a certain type of way. Ditch the stereotyping.

I'm just hanging on for the classic Feminism's about choice and then I think I'll be off too...

Makiko, as you well know, the OP actually posted this in AIBU, and it was moved when it was at page 5.

Pity MNHQ didnt mention that when it was moved actually.

It isnt a feminist thread Tethersend. Thankfully we seem to have moved off that predictable path. :)

I wasn't the first to mention feminism, squeaky.

It came up.

The OP said she was a feminist, which is informing some of her views. Including hoping her dh would have feminist attitudes rather than letching after young women.

Still I think the main thing here is that she doesn't like him very much. But maybe there isn't much to like.