Husband making friends with young women on facebook......

[Facebookisforlosers]

Long story short....

Husband been a dick in the past, never cheated that I know of but I wouldn't be surprised.
We're both 37.

He's new to facebook, emailling one old female friend pages lots of smileys and ggls.(it's fucking lols)
He's now made friends with a girl from work who is 23 and looks like a stripper, pages of photos in lipstick lesbian poses, tiny clothes, short skirts.....

I'm making no assumptions about this girl and think she woudn't be interested in H. But AIBU to think that a 37yr father of four, married, is a tad pathetic to request fb friendship with a woman who he barely works with?

He's emailed an old female friend and he has a woman from work on his friend list also.

Sorry, how does that equate to letching?

Does that mean we are all letches if we have FB accounts?

The main thing here is that the OP doesn't seem to like her husband very much. But maybe there isn't much to like.

No I think this is the last in a long line of last straws. I've spent time in Asia thinking terrible things of ex pats who letch after the young locals.

The 23 yr old as I've said could be any sort, she could be a devout virginal Christian for all I know. But the way she dresses is obviously something my h has noticed and judging by his other fb friends he notices this glamour type a lot. I find that unattractive.

If I were having a go at my husband for being FB friends with women, and making assumptions in the way that the OP has, (from what she has posted), I wouldnt expect him to like me very much.

I would expect him to find me needy and possessive. Not endearing qualities.

Perhaps OP has got more to back up her worries, but as she has chosen not to disclose them, (nor am I expecting or asking her to do so), on the basis of what she has posted, she is acting unreasonably, and creating a problem where there isnt one. She seems to have a very low opinion of her husband, and also of other women.

Has he actually commented on how she dresses then?

I wouldn't be starting a thread if he just emailed a woman and made one female fb friend. It's the absence of emails to blokes with certain flirtatious phrases or if he made everyone a fb friend. Or if she requested him.

but has he commented on her appearance?

When we met he was a sexist objectifying bloke, I thought age had changed that....I don't think it has.

I can't say too much more for a fear of outing myself but I have reasons to suspect he is not remotely loyal. I guess

I'm not either.

If I won the lottery I'd divorce him.

And you married a sexist objectifying bloke, hoping age would change him?

You're not loyal? Is that what you're saying?

You don't need to be rich to get a divorce.

Why did you marry a sexist objectifying bloke?

You sound unhappy. You also sound resigned.

This isn't a bed you have to lie in. If he's not making you happy, if this relationship makes you unhappy you can leave.

When we met he was, I thought it was bravado and peer pressure it was 17 years ago, but he had changed, I assumed he'd grown up. We married ten yrs ago.

Why do you want to stay in this marriage? 37 is too young to be trapped with a bloke like this.

We're in debt. I can't really leave, I'm waiting till we've cleared the debts and got ds1 into local secondary. We argue a lot, Dd cried and asked us to stop this morning.

Sometimes I can convince myself it's alright with "well at least dyz" but that list decreased daily.

And actually it seems to be you being sexist and objectifying OP.

Just to re-cap some of the things you've said about this young lady based on some photos of her on a night out.....

He's now made friends with a girl from work who is 23 and looks like a stripper, pages of photos in lipstick lesbian poses, tiny clothes, short skirts

He's barely friends with blokes at work and not with any older women, just younger and 'I'm cool with lapdancing' types

older men falling over that type of woman I find pathetic

she is single, carefree and has a plethora of porny/nightclub frat style pictures

I've always has a rather dim view of women that promote themselves as sexually vulnerable and submissive

The whole 'pornstar' look makes me feel pity for that type, the Hooters, lap dancing crap that all these girls feel they should measure up to

The young girl is just the same as every one that you see in town/city centers on a Friday night. I genuinely feel pity and dismay and hope to God that my DD has a little more respect.

And I am pretty judgmental about women who 'perform' for men, but I blame the tabloid, lags mag culture that we live in

And then lastly...and this is absolutely classic when you think of all the sexist and objectifying things you've written about her based on a few photos of some nights out, you then go on to say this.....

The way this girl dresses says little about her to me, to the rest of the world it's a man's ideal view and projects certain attitudes

I think you're the one with the attitude OP. I don't think I've ever seen such judgement of a young lady you don't even know

He's a prick, he's making you miserable, you need to find a way out. Now. Not after debts and secondary education. Now. This home life is making you and your children miserable. Martyrdom is not a quality to aspire to.

Its nothing to do with facebook then.
I think your worries over facebook are just because you are insecure. Half the universe under 25 does lipstick lesbian poses on facebook these days. I am twice that age, and find it hilarious, but am also aware that in America there is an army of wives who feel it is their God given right to be offended if their husband has friends on facebook. You don't own your husband. Its up to you to realise that a picture of a lady in short skirts wouldn't normally break up a marriage.

I can completely see why you feel disrespected and I suspect many others would too,
Where in essence , your DH is openly ogling a 23yr old women for everyone on your page/his to see, that is disrespectful this issue is his.

I think you nailed in in your OP that he's been a dick

Worral. I've posted over seven pages. I have been consistent in not commenting on this woman's morals or personality. I can comment on the only message she delivers which is how she wants the world to view her.

I do find it sad that so many women have been sold the porn story of beauty.

But who/what she is is irrelevant in the grand scheme of things.

I don't understand why you're still with him. OK, you have debts, but how long will they take to pay off? Do you really want to look back in 10 years and think how much time you wasted when you could have been happy without him? We all need money, but time is something you're never going to get back.

And if you really hate him as much as you say, why does it even bother you if he's friends with young women on his fb?