The Owl Man goeth - Owelefs, come to my nest, bring wine

[ParsleyTheLioness]

Well,he went about a week ago...other thread on here. Apparently his online dating habit commenced when me and dd wouldn't go owl watching with him one night....We are seeing him this morning at Mac's. He texted me to say he's moving into 'a room' (cue for sympathy, no?). I text back to say does he want the spare kettle (I am already taking him the travel iron). No response for 24 hrs, so I text again, saying, well, does he want the kettle? Get a text back, as if to a stranger who is harassing him, saying no thank you, and see you at X (in other words, I shall speak to you no more, or should that be Hoot No More, until then). I am hurt and fecked off.

Tell me not to text unless it is absolutely necessary.

Parsley - the way things are at the moment, I'd say the divorce IS all your choice and so it should be! do you feel like you are being pushed into it?

Your solicitor sounds a bit, um, slow on the uptake - either that or dodgy. Are you sure that she is the right one to fight your corner properly if and when you start divorce proceedings?

Er...Parsley, you could try going "Am I bovvered tho?" out loud like Lauren from Catherine Tate....

thumb, she is only doin the will. Other woman, who I have more faith in, from the same practice is doing the other stuff. Don't feel I am being pushed into it. Resent ah's implication that this might be an idea that came from nowhere, and his behaviour is not in any way relevant.

Ah I see, sorry! [fick]

AH does like to skip out of his responsibilities, doesn't he - is he doing the hurt "But it was your idea, I never wanted any of this" sort of bolllocks?

Kind of Thumb, by implication and by stealth iuswim.

Have bought dd and joint pressie of a guitar for Crimbo. Now he wants to know 'if we are getting her anything else to open'. Well, yes, i am, but I'm blowed if I'm putting ah's name on those...

Hang in there, Parsley!

I am five, despite tripping over in town today (embarassed). You doin ok hun?

I am. Really really good.

There was one woman on one of the past threads who said that you can recover from infidelity if they are TRULY sorry, that you would know for sure if this was the case. I do know. He is. I believe he would walk over broken glass to unwish what has happened.

ps We all fall over!! Been there, done that!

This is true five, about the falling over, and people who are really sorry. Unfortunatley, mine does not really seem to understand what he has done, not just recently, but over 20 years.

Don't understand why I am feeling more angry with Poison Dwarf mil, who just rings dd as if I don't live here, and pumps her for info. than ah. Possibly because I have to see arse every week at Macs? Any clues thumb or anyone?

where are you all?

Hi Parsley, what does dd think of PD mil?

Although it's a pain, at least you don't have to speak to her yourself, I presume?

She knows she has been a bit shit with me nose...she used to get on better with her when she was young. Now dd has a mind of her own, and pd can't tell her what to do/think the same things aren't quite as good. She was horrible to dd on holiday. Other thread. She is noticeably keeping in contact more now ah has gone. Nasty old witch. many of her son's problems started with her.

I'm guessing that you feel more antagonistic to MIL for several reasons, including:

1. You were never in love with her so there's no conflict of feelings
2. She brought the AH up to be an AH
3. She has added muchly to the situation
4. she's being bloody rude by not talking to you, only your DD, as though you don't exist/matter

And I don't know how well/not well you got on with her before this all kicked off but I have no doubt that any simmering resentments have all trotted to the fore as well to fuel your anger.

Sounds reasonable?

Got to run off now - busy day, Thursday! :) I'll be back ~1am your time.

Haven't answered your question properly nose. What's really irritating is she just rings here for dd and leaves messages from Granny, on ansaphone, as if I don't exist. She has always side-lined me. I don't have to speak to her, but as the Cow lives 2 1/2 hrs away, dd meeting her will require some co operation from me.

Yes Thumb, perfect sense, thanks. She was always a cow. In fact fought me for ah for 20 yrs. As I said to him on ill-fated holiday, "She's fought me for you for 20 yrs, you weren't much of a prize then, and you certainly aren't now, she can effin well have you".

Ah there you go then - no surprise at all that you're angry with the ol' cow!
And now I can add in another one -
5) she has Won. Admittedly, not much of a prize, as you said - but she has Won. And that always rankles.

Let it go - she can be happy in the knowledge that when she dies, her Beloved Son will be on his own - good one, ma!

Yes. And I suppose when I have to ah, so that dd can see him without him playing mind-games, I can't 'let' myself feel too angry, cos I would have to stab in Macd's...

well, have been to the dreaded Macs. Got a couple of things off my chest in the car park, after dd was safely in the car. Am getting good at hissing...feel marginally better.

No improvement in general terms then?

Sorry, in general terms? Had wine...

Coping, but not feeling great. Sad still.....a bit stuck on the fact that the whole relationship was a waste of my love.

I meant him - as in, is he being as much of an arse as always?

Parsley - you have to stop regretting your relationship. Yes it was years of your life but look what you got out of it. With my ex-fiancé, he took 11y of my growing up, fun years when I could have been out clubbing etc. BUT otoh I had a house when some of my peers didn't, he supported me through college and in a low paid job, we went on some great holidays that I otherwise wouldn't have managed, and at the end of it - I had a house, my own house. Yes, I might have met someone different and still had a house - but I might not either. So rather than dwell on the might-have-beens, look at the positive gains you have from your relationship with ah, and let the rest go.
You're not dead yet, woman! There may still be another, better man in your future - there may not, we don't know, but stop wasting time regretting this one.
Stay strong lovely - it will get better, promise. (((hugs)))

Still being owly-detached, but pretending regret over needing to move stuff out of house to store at bil's. Is saying he has been an arse, but with no conviction iuswim.
Just feeling a bit low, but don't want ah back. Got a sarky text back when I asked where printer driver was. He probably knows, is just enjoying the chaos when it won't work.