Husband has left me while am 5 months pregnant with first child.

[bidleyboo]

I am devasted. On sun 23 Oct i came home at 2pm to find that husband of 2 yrs had taken all his belongings and left home. I had panic attack called ambulance went to hospital. He never came but said he cared for me and baby but wants seperation and most probable divorce. He had stopped talking to me properly for 6 months, says no other person involved. I have no family/ siblings and totally isolated. Have lost 5 pounds weight in since 23 Oct and frightened that I will not make it. He wants to be at scans and birth. I am detroyed.

Dear Matana, will you e mail me. Thanks

Are there any women who live near Angel in London to meet up for a tea. I am fexible for meeting up but from 7pm onwards I feel very tired and it would be better for me to be at home. I nearly fainted/vomitted on a bus today and the man who helped me off the bus kept following me. I hid in a shop for 5 mins. When I came out he was still there. He wanted to know where I lived but was looking at my chest and clocking me up. I felt dizzy and sick but I told him I was okay, he wanted to know my address. I went in another shop and told them what had just happened and the man ran off. I feel fed up.

Feel like God must really hate me. Trying hard not to believe this.

Hello Biyboo

Ive read the thread and not posted before. Just wanted to say hello and ensure your last post didnt go unanswered for too long. I live too far from Angel or I'd gladly come and meet you for tea. Im sure someone around can do so though. MN is great like that.

What a horrible thing to happen today. Glad you found a shop to hide in. Did you hurt yourself when you fainted on the bus? Have you managed to eat since you got home?

There is some really good advice on this thread and some fab posters
Take care of yourself and bump xx

No he doesn't. You know that thing about mysterious ways? You would not have been better off had you stayed with him, and neither would your baby. You deserve (and will get) a kind, good man who will look after you

Hi biyboo - my offer stands! Today is difficult but I could do tomorrow. I don't work too far from angel so could come out to meet you for a cuppa (and definitely cake - good call merlioness) tomorrow, around lunchtime?

Dear onholidaywithbaby, would you like to meet up on at a cafe on essex road or even outside by chairs and tables outside planet organic. Have time today and tommorrow.

Hi jewelsandbinoculars, reaching out to those who are near, yes am ready to meeet up, can meet you outside angel tube and free today weds.

It too late now as could meet you later briefly too today.

Sorry, meant to say is it too late to meet now? Am free all day and could meet you breifly at angel tube.

Aww, biyboo. I'm sending you hugs. Don't give a shit if it's un-MN, the situation warrants it. My Ex-P left me when our baby was 4mo, that was hard enough, but to do so while you are still pregnant? Your STBXH is a cunt. And I don't use the pure form of that word often.

I too was struggling to eat, to think, to move - but I had 3 older dc that had to be looked after, and I was BF'ing my DS3. I am now 5 months down the road, DS3 is now 9mo, and along with my other dc, is one of the four most wonderful things in the world.

I have gone through the dazed feeling, the confusion, the tears, the lack of appetite, and it is only NOW thatI am getting ANGRY with him. I am sure that at some point I will become indifferent to him, but right now I am angry. You too will work through all these stages too. But when you look into the eyes of your baby - you will know that everything will be alright, because you and your baby will face your new life together. You will have your own family, and he is not part of it anymore.

You do not have to have him at any of your antenatal appointments or scans, and you don't have to let him into the delivery room, and if it is in your birth plan that you don't want him there, the MW will not let him in. He has lost out on that opportunity by walking out on you while you are carrying your dc.

I am too far away from you to be able to come and meet up with you, but I am on MN most nights and if you need to talk or are feeling lonely, PM me by using the message poster bit on the blue bar where my posting name is (I will be changing back to my non-Halloween name in a minute but will post on here so you can PM if you want), and I will PM you back as soon as I am on here.

Stay strong, you can and will survive this, and YOU will have your beautiful dc at the end of it. He will be left with some scan pictures and some pregnancy books - which are a very poor substitute for being present at your dc's first smile, first steps, first everything like you will be.

Biyboo - this is my 'normal' MN name. If you want to PM me, use the message poster on this post, so that I get your messages.

Hi again, found you other thread and bumping for you:)

Morning Biyboo. I hope you can get together with someone from here soon, it sounds like you have people close by. Thinking of you. x

Hiya biyboo - sorry for misunderstanding. I work full time and don't tend to check MN during the day. I meant I could get away today (Thurs) not yesterday (Weds). That's still a possibility if you're feeling a need for company, although as it will need to be a pop-out in my lunch hour I won't have ages. If so let me know - I will have a look back on here around 1ish. The tinderbox cafe in the N1 centre wld work for me.

My H says that he did not go to counsellor with me as I said I would not go. I always said lets go but when he started saying he was going to use counselling sessions to end the relationship/marraidge I ony then said why pay £80 per hour to a counsellor when you think like that. He did not even listen to what I said and tried to cover his reasons for going. Does he not think that I no matter where I go or what I do in life will ever forget the way he just left. I am sorry to admit to all MNs that I do believe that this all could be salvaged if he returns and we both work hard on going to joint counselling.

Hi Onholidaywithbaby, I would love to meet early next week as it always is nice to get out of house and would cheer me up lots. Do let me know where and what time so I can arrange other things around it. Even a brief tea/meeting makes a difference.

OP - you have a wonderful baby coming who will honestly be the adored light and love of your life. Babies are wonderful creatures and one day - maybe a few years from now you will feel utterly blessed that you have the privlilege to be a mother. This is a temporary situation.

Even if you are not religious (which I am not) your local Church could help you no end. I think of Church as nothing more than a community gathering place and I admit this to my local Vicar.

There are people in the community who would like to help you (because it makes themselves feel good - dont worry about the God Squad) and can give you lots of baby things and furniture. If I were you, I would hook into some community support via your local Church.

Hope your ok B .

Your ex hasn't told his family that he's left you ?

He wants to have paternity leave ?

He wants to be at the birth ?

He has stolen your scan pictures (your name on them sweetie , they are yours not his )

He has told his work not to let you in ? Wtf ?

All about him . . . . So make your anger all about him.

Phone his parents and cousins , tell them what he's done.

Phone his work and inform them as he has left you , he is not entittled to paternity leave and would be committing fraud if he tries to get It. His employers would be paying him to have a free holiday (which is what he wants)

Don't let him know when you go into labour . Don't tell him when the baby is born....let the CSS do it for you sweetie xxx

Sorry , not CSS , CSA (silly iPad keeps changing text)

Willing to make a voodoo doll , for this git .... Has anyone got any pins ?

He might just get a stabbing pain in the bollocks !