' babe, even my 7 year old thinks your sexi' internet dating - part 3.

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started.

Hello everyone, not been around so just catching up on everything and will be reading later

Now looking for a talking too or advise on how to keep cool...

So, I meet Geordie for coffee on tues, I went to his house to watch DVD on thurs (nice snogging) We made a dinner date for sunday. On Sat he asked if I was free and came to mine, more tv but also had sex, very good sex

Was terrified that after sex there would be no dinner - but he turned up as planned. Lovely dinner and then back to mine for coffee (and a shag lol) I asked him if we were dating or shagging - and he said he wouldn't have done dinner if we were just shagging - does that mean we're dating?

Now, my insecurities are really kicking in (the talking too part) He didn't contact me all day Sunday before the date. I text him couple of hours to check we were still on and he said of course. Now, I'm thinking (hoping?) he just isn't a texter/caller and is doing what we used to do before mobile phones - make a date and turn up for conversation lol But I'm not used to someone not chatting by phone inbetween seeing each other

The other thing is due to work shifts and a holiday, we won't be able to see each for 10 days - I don't want to keep texting if he isn't a texter, I really like him but am scared he will lose interest/find something better in those 10 days

He has removed photos and hidden profile on POF but still logs on (though the last few days only occasionally, whereas when we were chatting on there, he was logged on nearly all day - I keep logging on to see if he has been on, which is bordering on stalking!

On a good note (?) before he left on sunday, he added me as a friend on facebook

How do keep you keep calm, not get your hopes up, prepare for letdown? Do I have to just ask him what his intentions are? Should I just keep calm and wait and see. This really isn't like me, I don't normally do relationships - I usually a shag them and have fun person

My last few relationships have all let me down in one way or another, I'm just waiting for this one to do the same - and we aren't even in a relationship!

I'm a lost cause aren't?

Sounds like dating to me at least rather than just shagging :o

And keep calm - re: being logged on, on pof... it could be his phone leaving him logged in so take that with a massive massive huuuge pinch of salt.

I used to see someone who wouldn't text much on the actual day he was seeing me but would chat in between via text/email/phone/whatever

What's he been like with texting etc so far apart from that date day??

Just chill and enjoy it for now anyway and see how it goes the next couple of dates. Don't think you have anything to be concerned about yet :)

He is a man of few words with texting - has answered but not initiated much. I think that's why I'm going all Glen Close over him

He text me monday to rub in the fact he had a day off and didn't get out of bed til 11am after leaving mine at 3am, when I had to get up 6.30am for work

And now I'm out of the country for 5 days with work- so haven't heard anything since - which why I am sitting here willing him to log on to FB so I can say hi (and why there will be an expense put in for essential hotel internet use! lol)

I'm such a sad sack

Awh, congratulations MsCellophane you are now dating. And shagging!! you lucky thing!

Try not to worry too much, stop stressing and just enjoy every single moment, because this is the nice and exciting part of the relationship. The 10 day gap where you won't see him is fab, it will keep things fresh, and who cares if he isn't a texter, YOU are, so send him nice texts. It's not all on his terms you know, you are not out just to please him. I think he is more likely to stay 'alert' if there is a bit of a change going on for him than what he is used to. If you have a camera phone you can always send him a pic or two too

You are not a sad sack at all. You are just all newly loved up and excited. Enjoy it!

Sounds like a relationship to me MsCello. It sounds as though he is one of those guys (like my ex) who simply don't text much so I would try not to worry too much. I often check my phone for an email and then leave it on that page so it looks as though I am on all day. If everything else is good then try and just enjoy it, once you know each other better it won't seem a problem/worry.

I have been emailing a very nice looking guy who I recognise from when I was on POF early in the year so will see how that goes before he does a disappearing act

I sent a polite 'sorry but we live too far away for things to work' to someone tonight so he replied with 'yeah same old story' Ishoooooooooos

Hi Wriggly I guess if he's not lighting your fire after 3 dates then he's not going to. Agree tha alot of the men are flaky this week, or I'm justgetting cynical

A lot of men admit to hating texting, they would rather talk, too impatient to text, plus they are crap at it! When we were together I would send my exP texts that were fairly lengthy and just get an 'ok' in reply, if anything at all. Used to frustrate the hell out of me!

I agree with Xany wriggly don't hang on to the dead wood, chuck it on the bonfire and move on to the next plank bloke! We are on a mission you know, no time to waste on losers!

MsCello I agree you are now deffo dating! and yes we are v

wriggly I think if he's still not floating your boat after 3 dates, time to cut your losses.

and yes men are flaky this week. or generally in my case

Right I'm off to bed, I just gave my email address to Mr Mystery who I have been chatting to - he is going to send me some pictures.

Off to give the dog a cuddle before bed seen as its her 2nd birthday today

MsCello... don't overthink. He's into you, so don't scare him off by coming across as needy.

Yup mrs cello, personally it all sounds good to me. If you are a texter, there is no harm in saying to him you would like to text now and again but feel a bit worried he might not be keen. I am a firm believer in being honest about your feelings and talking about them. If not you will end up making a whole load of assumptions that could be very wrong. Perhaps he is a texter but feels the same as you? You never know unless you discuss! Just keep everything all light hearted and most of all have lots of fun!

I've got a little program from my telco that lets me send SMS messages from my PC or I can send them from my phone. My phone is a Samsung touch screen thing and it's seriously crap (as we found out when I tried to send those posts on here the other night!) so if I'm home I'll text away as if I'm typing a letter, but if I'm out and about I send very brief messages or something like "Sorry. Crap phone. More later."

Morning ladies, I gave in early last night after messaging a hot lovely guy, but just didn't get any good vibes.
Thanks for the advice re my current project. He has asked me to to go his for a chilled evening of wine & food, but I would have to stay over if I drink (obviously not excessively!) as he is 1hr away from me. Am I mad to consider it? I really enjoy his company & his caring nature - attentive, texts, calls etc. And the new, dark side of me wonders if I should let the physical thing happen and see if that lights my fire or not - this would be the last chance for it to work.
Any advice would be fab as I am really unsure what to do. How do you know when someone is 'safe' to go to their house - gut feeling?

Wriggly, have you been on any dates with him before? Sorry but I cant remember. If so, how do you feel about staying with him? If there was say, a travel inn nearby his, would you prefer there? Would you want the physical side to happen? If he is any sort of decent guy you should be able to ask about sleeping arrangements if not, make it clear sex isnt on offer. It doesnt have to be whether you stay at his or not.

If you do decide to go, I would make sure a friend/family knows exactly where you are going and you have a fully charged mobile, just in case.

Morning wriggly , I have often waited until a few dates so that I felt safe with the guy before I went to his house or let him come to mine although Mr Body did come to mine for a snog coffee because my gut feeling was good and I hoped the dog would protect me if my gut feeling was right. I had a few dates before I really fell for my XH but I think its a fine line between keep giving things a go and when to realise that there is no spark.

Well I have been asked out for lunch by 'mbris' on OK but not sure at the moment.

Wriggly I did similar for a 2nd date once. If you are not sure then laterooms.com are excellent for cheap deals

It is really hard as I love his personality etc and he is not my normal body type, but so far they have turned out to be selfish tossers, so that is why I am giving it a go for now :-)

the 69 year old is persistant - another message - maybe he forgot he already sent one. that I ignored...?

been chatting to a gothy chap, perfectly pleasant, not really a spark tho i think - plus in his profile pic he's wearing a hot pink mesh top and I can see his nipple.

Stay, I have been on 3 dates, I have told him that sex is not on the cards, he is thoroughly decent about the whole thing and is not pressuring. It is just me being fretful about getting myself into a situation that I could regret - but when does it suddenly become safe?

I have a 'phone a friend' who knows his mobile, landline, address, name and profile details and we would check in regularly.

It becomes safe when you feel as though you would be comfortable. If you are fretting, it would suggest to me you just arent ready for overnight stays yet.

Good for you wriggly. I'm open minded about what package my Mr Right might turn up in. I'm giving different personality and body types a go. Last date with Mr Friday a couple of weeks ago was a different personality type... and one of the best dates I've ever had for conversation and laughing.

Hi everyone. I'm just back from town. I gave in and bought a new outfit for Friday. fickle Well, My thinking is that if things don't work out on Friday I will be having lot's ha ha! of first dates so this outfit will do for them ALL!!

Having teeny little panic attacks today but keeping them under control. Eating like a horse and not starving myself in anticipation of date, but feel I probably should be, that's the done thing isn't it? takes huge bite of apple turnover

Wriggly Going on what you say about your date I would go for the evening, (letting LOADS of people know where I am and having 999 on speed dial on your phone, but I'm old) enjoy it and see where it takes you. Prepare for an overnight stay but also prepare for a drive home/travelodge. Cover all bases.

Stay Did you phone the OU?

Zany go to lunch in the name of research for the thread then come back and give us a full report

goes to get the other apple turnover--

Oh cross posted. I'd go out on a limb and say that was safe especially as you have a friend that can check up. I went with gut insintct for that 2nd date that time and obviously it was fine... I didn't even consider any risk and no one knew where I was, but I knew he was a decent guy.

I'd say it's just down to physical stuff vs not... has he got a spare room or could you get a hotel?

Nice one Time :o

I never ever starve in anticipation of a date. it's when things go well a few dates in and you start really liking each other and it's all butterflies and going like a daft teenager that I lose my appetite :o

excellent time, but why on earth would be it be the done thing to starve yourself before a date? thats just plain crazy!!

wriggly, my only advice ( and the same i shall be giving to my child) is be safe, and dont do anything you dont want to/arent comftable doing. If you dont feel comftable staying, dont stay, simple as :)

snape - pink mesh?!?!?!?!?!? lovely! lol

mrs cello - sounds like its going great, id hang back on the texting.. i get annoyed if people constantly text me, maybe he is the same. And just because you are 'dating' doesnt mean to say you have to be in constant contact.. just relax and enjoy it :)

sponge - glad you decided to rejoin, who knows in the time you were away someone perfect might have popped up.

Nothing new to report from me, ive got a ton of mail i need to reply to on pof, and a few phone numbers i should have put in my phone but havent... so, that says a lot huh.
Have decided on holding off contacting mr epic shag this week because im a bit knackered ( and i LOVE, that i can do this and not have to give it a second thought) Mr AD has been really nice and we have been chatting on/off all day since we swapped numbers and i am looking forward to that date.