Many apologies for my late return - dumb klutz here was sure she'd safely preserved this thread in 'watch' but having exhausted other possibilities, it occurred to her to look in 'hide' 
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So you're expecting a delegation from the BY? Mmm, I'm curious as to what mission they're on, especially as they'll have to make an early start to get to you by 10.30am... still, I guess it's something of a jolly awayday for them.
Two possibilities come to mind; the first being damage limitation they wish and the second being that they need to impart information about your ds's stay that could render them even more bang to legal rights if it was conveyed in writing.
Are Bindmans acting for you only insofar as you are ds's guardian? Have they begun firing missiles sending missives to SLaM re ds's misadventures while in their care or are they waiting on a legal aid cert?
Assuming that SLaM are as yet unaware of your intention to crucify them seek legal redress, I see no reason why you should enlighten them and I urge you resist any temptation to mention solicitors/legal action or anything that may burst their bubble.
As this isn't the time for you to go in all guns blazing, you're best advised to act on WetAugust & Maryz's advice to circumspectly hear them out and I would suggest that you act the part of 'utterly knackered and subdued' (no makeup required) convey the impression of being somewhat distracted and preoccupied (pass hand across brow and gaze into distance every 10 mins or so).
Explain your large notebook and painstaking notetaking as being essential to help you keep track as the events of the last few months have taken their toll of your thought processes. Take all the time you need to write down as much as possible of what they say - don't be afraid to ask them to speak more slowly if necessary or tell them to wait a minute while you write down what's been said verbatim.
If they perceive you as swallowing their well-rehearsed pre-agreed spiel whole, the chances are you'll get more out of them than by adopting a more confrontational approach.
The less you contribute to the proceedings, the better. Use phrases such as 'I will need to think about that in some depth before I can give an answer', 'that isn't something I've thought about', 'I'll have to get back to you on that' to deflect any questions that seem designed to put you on the spot or pin you down.
There'll be no percentage in querying the details of the escape or rehashing the minutiae of your ds's ill-fated stay in the BY as that is now more properly the remit of solicitors.
Because I suspect that they'll be intent on 'waffling', I reckon you'll be able to wrongfoot today's visitors by making it clear that you don't wish to cover old ground in other than in the most general terms - i.e. why your ds was placed in the BY and why the BY decided to send him so far away.
However, there are certain questions that I believe you should seek answers to this morning and these are:
- Prior to your ds being able to abscond, what clincial and emotional benefit did he derive from his stay in the BY?
- What has the been the outcome of his police interview in relation to the attempted abduction he was subjected to while he was at large?
- Following the decision to close the unit, why was it necessary to place your ds so far from your home? NB: you found and passed on details of a suitable placement in Orpington and there was, and are, surely others available in the South East.
4 Who made the decision, and why, to transport him in handcuffs to Birmingham?
- Taken overall, what effect do SLaM/BY's clinicians believe your ds's experience of the BY has had on his emotional welfare and wellbeing?
I don't believe the people coming are to 'blame' the system is....
When the people who are visiting today are seated in your home, take a good hard look at them, honey. They, and thousands like them, are the system and their lack of individual accountability and oftentimes their complacency, coupled with their reluctance to whistle-blow rock their comfortable boat sinecure, is what allows the system to, literally in some cases, get away with murder.
Make no mistake: individually and collectively, they are to blame for the failure of the system to make adequate provision for children such as your ds.