advice needed desperately regarding social services

[wannabestressfree]

I am desperate for some advice and wondered if anyone could help......

I have three sons. 14,10 and 7. My oldest is aspergers and ADHD, self harms daily and has had two stays in mental hospitals. On sunday he attacked me with a knife in front of my middle son. He didn't hurt me but obviously it was very scarey. He then absconded {he does this a lot} and eventually the police took him to hospital.

A house officer phoned me in the morning and said he would be requiring inpatient treatment but he is medicating at the moment [he is on a childrens ward} and so they have reversed the decision and say he is fit to return home. He self harms daily and his special education school has told social services they are refusing to have him back. I work full time as a teacher.

I told social services I wouldn't have him in the house......... this is after years of asking for help and they have phoned today and said they will give me respite for a week by placing him in foster care in our old home town. I cannot believe they would do this as this is where he absconds too and drinks and was basically told 'tough'......... no other foster carers would take him due to his mental condition. The social worker insisted I tell my school they were dealing with us {head was super supportive} and said they would be looking at the other children. I am so upset as I just want some help.

He will stop taking his medication when he comes home, attack the other children and roams in and out of the house. We are all exhausted.

So advice please............ do I take him back tomorrow or allow him into foster care that I know is not the right place. I honestly feel like they are emotionally blackmailing me..................

No he is not psychotic. He has been threatening, unsettled and euphoric though. And apparently when he was told he wouldn't be able to see me he did say..... 'I will hurt/kill someone......... not the brightest thing to say in a forensic unit.

I am allowed to call. I just can't see him. Under his hold he has been told he poses a risk to himself and others. I am going to ring the psychiatrist when I finish school and I have emailed the solicitor.

A teacher will pop onto the ward for an hour a day but he has a full statement. Not sure if they can override that........ I personally think when he goes into school and resumes seeing me he will settle. He just needs time to get used to new people/ places etc and when I call it sounds like a zoo.

I miss him :{ and he misses me. How do they ever think they will get him home. I am tired and f**Ked off with it all.

Its a unit specifically for those with Aspergers........:{
I know when I told him he said........'I don't mean it I just miss you'.
I made it clear to the doctor I wasn't amused.....

This is written in haste and I will add more later but, briefly, if doctors/staff at this unit are refusing to allow you visit your ds because they consider him to be a danger to you, they are required to give legitimate reasons why they cannot make provision for you to be supported throughout your visit or for your visit to be supervised.

What are ds psychotic symptoms at present.

As far as I can see they are using punishment as their treatment....this is abuse!

would you consider somewherelike
here ?

They offer behavior and psychiatry input for children with AS. They may take children on sec 3 also. They cater for complex and challenging behaviours.

Tbh if this was my ds I would get someone like Alan Willis ind Ed psych in to do report on what my ds needs.

I do wonder if your ds has been slum in forensic unit as cheaper than education paying for the type of unit your ds needs?

I do wonder if your ds has been slum in forensic unit as cheaper than education paying for the type of unit your ds needs?

Spot on, Sea.

That is excatly what is happening.

If this is what I am thinking I would find the most suitable education unit and then apply for reassessment of statutory needs at LEA when was last AR wannabe?

Get ind reports done including psychiatric. It sounds behavioral not psychosis and if they have misdiagnosed and it is Aspergers only he should be in education setting. It would be worth your while asking for your 13 weeks unpaid leave to claim IS to get legal aid to get solicitor and reports

Izzyizin said to contact Lorna Wing centre, ask to speak to Lorna or Judith Gould. Ask for assessment of ds. See if they can help?

Once ind ed psych report done, contact MP, councillor to write to LEA to state they are not meeting ds needs. complaint to mental health commisioners re treatment? Isolation should not be used with anyone who is psychotic! your ds doesnot require isolation and what you have described is punishment which is abuse and illegal! When is section 3 up for renewal? Appeal this too. Your ds is messed up because of an even more messed up system.

Would you consider going to the press? At least threaten too....as a parent of dc with AS I know we have to scream from the highest mountain...we are behind you Wannabe on this mountain called everest and try and help you from slipping.

It needs to be fought legally from all corners education, mental health and social services! They re equally to blame I must admit and the three top systems we have need to be challenged!

Sea - I definitey agree with the suggestion to contact Judith or Lorna. I spoke to Judith when my son was misdiagnosed and she said she would see him on a teriary referral basis. As it happend I obtained a private dx from elsewhere.
I mentioned the Piers Bolduc case a few posts ago - which was what prompted me to realise that DS had been misdiagnosed. It was Lorna Wing that finally dx'd Piers correctly.

Wannabe - I know your son already has an ASD dx BUT it may be they are seeing psychosis and treating him as a threat to himself and others on that basis, when in fact it's AS related.

He seems to be stuck in some Kafka-esque nightmare here as his initial presentation doesn't seem to have warranted the restrictions he is now placed under.

Every day that he's being housed (inappropraitely) by the NHS is another day that your LA will be rubbing its hands with glee at the savings it's making by not having to fund a suitable educational placement.

The stress of dealing with these idiots when DS was ill caused me to have to take sick leave. It was the best thing I did as it gave me time during the day to make all the phone calls etc to get things moving/sorted. Trying to do that by rushing home from work to make a snatched call to solictor / hospital just became untenable. Perhaos you need some free time from work now things have got to this stage?

Best wishes

Have you been able to talk to one of your son's clinicians or the solicitor?

Going back to something you said on Tuesday: I honestly don't think I will ever get over the stress.

IMO it's fair to say that your experiences with 'the system' will have knocked years off your life; not in terms of your life expectancy as such, but in terms of the prolonged impairment of the quality of your life, and that your of your ds and other dc, over a duration of many years.

I suspect that you are already suffering from PTSD and, when it comes to establishing an appropriate sum in compensation, I would suggest that you ask Bindman's to give consideration to obtaining the services of an expert in this field to make an assessment of the stress you have needlessly sustained and it's probable mpact on your present and future life.

As it happens, a certain Professor William Yule has been a recognised specialist in the field of post traumatic stress disorder for some considerable time...

I feel very low...........
I have CPA on April 5th [DS'S birthday] and I will speak to them then about what's going to happen next. The plan/ whether they are renewing section/ how long they see him remaining there etc
I am going to phone Lorna Wing centre and see if they can help

DS's escape made the Evening Standard last night............

oh no I sent long reply and I'd been logged out::(

I will half it out now as got to get to bed as clocks..

CPA ask:
what is ds MH diagnosis?
What treatment is ds having?
If accepting treatment, any need for sec3 now?
Who and why was punishment reinforcement used to control ds behaviours? Say you are not happy with this...lacl of contact with family esp as so far away for a teenager is abusive!
If they plan to discharge...have something else in mind (educational unit)
Don't tell SS first as you want to not give them preparation to say it is not appropriate costly
Look for a unit with both education and MH expertise usually accept AS kids with ie Bipolar (common dual diagnosis).

If they also want to renew sec 3 say about ds returned to unit after walking out (not escaping) and this is not what you would expect with someone on sec 3 with no insight/responsibility of self or others.

Btw wannabe can I put a positive spin on this....your ds returned safe and well. If sucidal ds may have killed himself or his peers who are on forensic unit as risk to others may have hurt/murdered ds. Ds had someone looking over him that day!

Try and find an approiate educational place...Judith/Lorna might know! Contact everyone and anyone who can help...you will be surprised what precious bit of info you can get! If LEA their ask for AR! You need that opportunity to appeal for a suitble placement.

So when you go into CPA you will be prepared! This will give you more control back.

Nothing to add bar - oh my fucking god, on so so many levels. I have worked in CAMHS (Inc forensic, at SLAM, though not at Bill Yule Abd not for many years).

I am so so sorry you and your son have been so badly let down.

I am up North not far from B'ham - if there's anything I can do to help please do let me know, feel free to PM, even if it's providing coder and a friendly ear post-visit(s).

Good luck - you sound like an amazing Mother and strong woman xxx

I have no coders but I do make good COFFEE...!

I will prepare an argument and make phone calls this week.I need to find time as its the last week of school. Thank you for all your advice and thank you Horrible
Day :} Am staying at the flat at Ardenleigh.

I have a rotten cold and feel generally crap so excuse the fact I haven't been on. On a positive note he has been quite upbeat and chatty the last couple of days..........

You don't need to prepare an argument, honey, but you should get to work on preparing a rebuttal to counter their argument that your ds should be under section, should be labelled as a 'forensic' patient - i.e poses significant risk of offending or causing harm to others - , and should remain in a placement some 200 miles from his home.

Pack a pistol and wait to hear what they have to say before shooting those fucks ducks out of the water.

My thinking cap has been in the wash over the weekend and I expect it to be fit to wear later today at which time I will add more here... in the meantime, I hope you'll feel better soon.

They may pay some heed to that if he was still in the Bill Yule, Maryz. As it is, he's 'in the system' and amassing more damaging reports with every move that's forced on him through no fault of his own.

I think its a valid point.I think that will be more relevant for my case against the Maudsley.

Am so so tired. Bank details for him don't work, my mum sent him a letter he hasn't received it, I am still the only contact on his list so I have my mum on my case, when I called last night they asked if he was a patient or a nurse [comforting]........

I have spoken to Lorna Wing and they train people now, they don't look at children. Someone from NAS is ringing with advice on Thursday but she repeated a lot of what I know already. I need an expert. That I can pay to help me if necessary.

Just thought I would give a quick update. Will pop back on later.........

How about someone like Ind Ed Psych Alan Willis, his professional opinion re if suitible for ds or another place?

Otherwise google top psychiatrist re Aspergers and dual dx or ask on SN children? Maybe Wet will be along soon her ds had private dx, instead of Judith at the time.

I personally think the Ed Psych route is best as you need to get the ball rolling on geting ds out of forensics and settled in an environment that will support educational as well as any mental health dx (if their is one?) and if possible closer to home than current milage.

The stress is taking it's toll on you wannabe, eat blueberries if you can or take vit c you are living on nervous energy this can't last...you need time out to ensure you recharge because if you fall then ds got no one else to fight for him....so take sone time out, have coffee and read gossip magazine etc just escape reality for 10 mins a day.

Sadly I had a phone call from the forensic psychiatrist last night to say my DS is suicidal and self harming again to his chest and arms. He has been put back on arms length nursing and they are doing random checks on his room......

I am so very sorry to hear this. Have you been able to speak to him? Have the unit confirmed that you will be able to see him on his birthday?

yes am going up next wed for a couple of days. I spoke to him tuesday and he seemed quite happy. He is known for putting fronts on though.

sorry to hear this news about ds