Dh can't/won't have sex with me anymore

[Geordieminx]

i have written about this a couple of times before under a name change (patient partner) but I'm not in the mood fir changing tonight (bottle glass of wine has made me brave)

We have had issues for a while, he is considerably older than me, and struggles not only to get an errection, but also to even want sex. I guess it's a chicken and egg situation.

We have talked and rowed about it so many times, but last week, spurred on by other things I brought it up again. Many tears (mine) later, he agreed that he would make an appointment atvthe doctors and try and see if he could get some help.

Fast forward a week later and he hasn't.

Something daft earlier prompted me to snap, ask him if he had spoken to the doctor and a huge row ensues. He now won't speak to me, isn't interested in discussing it and has been in the spare room all night.

He has 0 sex drive, and cannot maintain am erection. He hasn't made any effort to try and resolve this, despite me trying to support and help him. He doesn't make me feel in any way wanted or attractive. I'm 29 and feel like my life ahead is going to be a celebate one. He doesnt (understandably) want me to have sex with anyone else, tempted though I have been. We have a 4 year old son, I am desperate to makevthibgs work for him, but I am at a loss.

Apologies for the ramble, I dont suppose anyone can fix this, or even offer any advice, I just needed to get it off my chest as I am so desperately sad

How are you getting on GM? Did he make the appointment?

he spoke to the doctors yesterday and has an appointment for next week.

I'm pleased, but saddened that it has taken this amount of tears, arguments and sadness to actually get us to this point. Still, time will tell.

I have found a counsellor, gonna give him a ring this week.

I think perhaps the most important thing I have realized from this thread is that I don't have to put up with this forever, and that I would be fine on my own. The thought of still being on this situation in 10 years time terrifies me, although thankfully at the moment, I have youth on my side, I know that it won't be like that forever. one day I will wake up and I'll be approaching 50, and I have promised myself things won't be like this.

Oh that's good, glad he has maybe started to realise what is at stake here.

Good luck minxie, and don't neglect to ring the counsellor will you ?

Whatever your husband does/does not follow though with, you need support with your own self x

Im glad hes made an appointment Geordie. Thats good. But whatever happens (i will echo what AnyFucker said) make sure you see the counsellor for you and to talk about your needs.

Geordie - what is he doing on the internet until the early hours. You should find out.

Re Internet, part of me wishes it was porn or similar, but, unless I am totally off the mark it's football forum, occasional photoshopping and watching pish action films. Nothing remotely exciting.

I did ask him the other day if he was having an affair, he said no, and to be honest I believe him. He has 0 opportunity, and every minute of his day is more or less accounted for? I honestly believe he just has 0 sex drive

Maybe I am being too naive, and it will cone back to bite me, although in a way if that wad the reason he didn't want sex it would easier to handle.

carernotasaint I didn't realise you were already on this thread when I suggested you take a look last night

duhh

Thats cool Any Fucker. Geordieminx my OH is the same. No interest in it at all. If you put a porn mag and a computer mag and a car mag in front of him,the porn mag would end up in the bin and he would only take the other two. The only mags he has with any regularity is Classic Rock and Mojo. Hes really into his music. I believe in my case that he is simply asexual. I think its just that some people are. However in your case Geordie it involves ED so there is hope yet now he has made an appointment. You are absolutely right though in that you shouldnt have had to go through all that anger and pain and hurt to get to this point. Take care xx