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Original poster

The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Here's To STAYING On A Sober Holiday!

1000 replies

Mouseface · 08/08/2011 12:20

Hello, I'm Mouse Smile

I have an abusive and volatile relationship with alcohol.

This is the Brave Babes Bus, it's filled with sober, drinking and somewhere in between Babes who are all here for the journey ahead, whatever that may entail.

EVERYONE is welcome on this Bus. No-one will judge what you are going through, what you drink, what you don't or what you do.

Come take a seat. Smile

Take a peek at the journeys so far (including the thread by JWN that started this whole journey off) HERE

OP posts:
MsGee · 23/08/2011 21:42

Great - first step. You are in a truly tough position right now, you will be emotional and vulnerable and you will want to fall apart. You can do and feel all of those things but the only thing we have all learnt on here is that in tough times the booze doesn't help at all. I know its not easy but that cup of tea is the first step.

If it helps I have a plan every single night so I don't grab that bottle. Planning to avoid drinking has become second nature now. I still fail most weekends but that is ok too. All i know is that its easier not to have the first than it is to not have the second, third or fourth... I have to go to bed now but it gets easier I promise. xx

missy10 · 23/08/2011 21:46

I can go a few days with out drinking fairenuff and then hit the bottle about 6pm some days it will be one or 2 glasses then othernights it will be alot lot more it is a huge cruch for me at the moment as its the only thing i have

Fairenuff · 23/08/2011 21:53

I know what you mean Missy because I am also able to go days without drinking and some days I would have 1 or 2 glasses but more often it was usually the whole bottle. The thing is, do you consider your drinking to be a problem for you?

I know I have a problem with it. I personally don't call myself an alcoholic (yet) because I'm trying to control my drinking but I know many others have tried and found it doesn't work for them.

This is why most of us take it one day at a time. One moment at a time if we need to. And we get support from where can. For some it's aa or other such groups, for some (including myself) it is just coming here and sharing.

wanttodie · 23/08/2011 21:56

I feel for you missy! I hit my own rock bottom on sunday. These ladies have helped me. We can get better together

missy10 · 23/08/2011 21:56

Yes i do have a problem fairenuff and thats what scares me slightly my life just seams to be in bits and alcohol seams like my only friend at the moment

missy10 · 23/08/2011 21:58

Thank you wantto

Fairenuff · 23/08/2011 22:00

How are you doing this evening wantto? Good to hear from you Smile

Missy how is alcohol helping you? I know it seems like a friend to you but can you say what it is that you get from it that helps you deal with the difficulties you are facing right now.

startAfire · 23/08/2011 22:01

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missy10 · 23/08/2011 22:01

it helps me forget just for a little while

Fairenuff · 23/08/2011 22:05

Hi Saf I am going to refresh my peppermint tea. It hit the spot!

Ok Missy it helps you forget the difficulties in your life but doesn't make them go away, so then you still have to deal with them but now you also have a hangover to struggle with.

No-one here will tell you you have to stop drinking for ever. We all know how scary that thought can be. But we can help you to stop for now. For one day or one evening. And then hopefully you will be able to face your difficulties and find support.

Right off to put the kettle back on.

jesuswhatnext · 23/08/2011 22:07

missy - i can tell you without doubt that alcohol is no friend!! it will take and take until you have nothing left to give!, it will take your peace of mind, your self respect and your dignity, it is a lying son of bitch, a false friend! it sits and whispers in your ear that you have nothing and no one and all the time you listen to it you will get lower and lower!

i know that all sounds melodramatic, but looking back at how i felt when i drank, the thought that somehow i 'needed' it, and looking at how far down it got me, i really mean it! it still trys to whisper at me, i give it the old 'fuck the fuck off' and it gets weaker and weaker while i get stronger and stronger and happier and calmer and my home becomes more peaceful and plesant and my relationships become stronger and more loving - its been fucking hard work and at times i have wondered if im capable of it or even if its worth it, looking at the posts today i can honestly say that being sober is the single most important thing i can do for myself, i have been right down there with you!

THE THING IS!!

YOU CAN DO THIS!

YOU ARE WORTH SO MUCH MORE!

missy10 · 23/08/2011 22:14

thats the thing jesus i just feel so worthless at the moment and wonder what is the point of every thing the fight just dosnt seam to be there any more i just dont know what else i can take any more

wanttodie · 23/08/2011 22:18

My gp is phoning tomorrow. Dp has agreed to meet me and take me to get my prescription on thursday. I can then spend time with my beautiful girl but I will be returning home and I will need you babes more than ever!
I don't know what to say to him? Have any of you got advice.. I've been trying to write it down but my heads fecked.

wanttodie · 23/08/2011 22:18

My gp is phoning tomorrow. Dp has agreed to meet me and take me to get my prescription on thursday. I can then spend time with my beautiful girl but I will be returning home and I will need you babes more than ever!
I don't know what to say to him? Have any of you got advice.. I've been trying to write it down but my heads fecked.

Isindebetterplace · 23/08/2011 22:19

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Fairenuff · 23/08/2011 22:21

wantto such good news that you will get to see your little girl. Have you been to rehab before? Is that something you could commit to do you think?

Isindebetterplace · 23/08/2011 22:22

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dementedma · 23/08/2011 22:23

missy, i am drinking tonight as I do most nights. not to the point of passing out, or being sick, or getting arrested, but just drinking because it takes the edge off and it's a terrible terrible habit. Stopping now and going to bed but you are not alone. Listen to the old hands like mouse and venus and jwn and Mif if he shows up. he is out resident, hard-hitting boy babe.
try are things any better? What's happening?

jesuswhatnext · 23/08/2011 22:24

oh missy!! you arent worthless my love!!, Smile you have a bloody shit load on your plate and its not fucking fair and its not bloody surprising you are feeling like death warmed up! - the thing is, im willing to bet you are so much stronger that you realise, that you have so much more going for you than you see, and that all the time you tip the booze down your neck you are making your own life so much more difficult that it needs to be! you KNOW alcohol is a depressant and what you need is a 'pick-me-up'! you are trying to cope and just going about it the wrong way!

how about tomorrow, you get up and start life again?, life on your terms?, not dictated by a bottle of booze?

i can promise you one thing, not drinking will not make you feel any more worthless and it might just be the start of feeling a bit better about yourself, worth a try maybe? Smile

missy10 · 23/08/2011 22:27

you can see where i am comimg from dementedma it just seams nevereneding at the moment one more bit of stress and shit on top of another it just is neverending :(

Fairenuff · 23/08/2011 22:33

Sorry if I suddenly disappear for a while, I keep losing my connection when I try to refresh or post and it's a teensy bit annoying . . .

startAfire · 23/08/2011 22:37

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Fairenuff · 23/08/2011 22:39

Phew, it worked that time.

Missy can I ask, are you managing financially, etc. at the moment. Ignore if you want but I am thinking that there is a lot of help out there re housing, child maintenance, etc. I think Citizens Advice would be a good place to start but also loads of information on the relationships page of mn.

Sorting out what you can in your life, one thing at a time, will help you feel that you can cope. There are lots of people on this thread who can advise better than me but they will be around tomorrow. (Am thinking of Mouse, Venus, Miflaw etc.)

Can you come back here tomorrow and try to find the help you need in tackling all of your difficulties, not just the drinking?

Fairenuff · 23/08/2011 22:43

Well done Saf hope all that liquid doesn't have you getting up in the night, sounds like you could do with a well earned good night's sleep.

startAfire · 23/08/2011 22:45

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