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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Here's To STAYING On A Sober Holiday!

1000 replies

Mouseface · 08/08/2011 12:20

Hello, I'm Mouse Smile

I have an abusive and volatile relationship with alcohol.

This is the Brave Babes Bus, it's filled with sober, drinking and somewhere in between Babes who are all here for the journey ahead, whatever that may entail.

EVERYONE is welcome on this Bus. No-one will judge what you are going through, what you drink, what you don't or what you do.

Come take a seat. Smile

Take a peek at the journeys so far (including the thread by JWN that started this whole journey off) HERE

OP posts:
wanttodie · 23/08/2011 10:09

My gp knows my history. Dp saved me before when I was in a dark hole but he has to put the baby first. I can't cope being without them .... I have a difficult relationship with my father and I don't want to be here. I'm at my wits end. I have tried suicide in the past but I can't even get that right

wanttodie · 23/08/2011 10:09

My gp knows my history. Dp saved me before when I was in a dark hole but he has to put the baby first. I can't cope being without them .... I have a difficult relationship with my father and I don't want to be here. I'm at my wits end. I have tried suicide in the past but I can't even get that right

venusandmars · 23/08/2011 10:14

wantto you may not know, but the very first thread in this series had the title "me and alchol have fucked up my life".

The person who wrote it is living a much better life now, with her dd and her dh.

You can turn it around.

Isindebetterplace · 23/08/2011 10:15

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Isindebetterplace · 23/08/2011 10:17

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

venusandmars · 23/08/2011 10:19

Sounds like you got it wrong, getting so drunk, and probably did some really stupid stuff. That DOES NOT mean that it is fucked up for ever.

Your dp is probably pretty upset with you if you did some stupid stuff. He may also be a bit confused. He may even hate the way you behaved. He probably does not hate YOU. He probably still loves you, he may just be finding it difficult to like you at the moment.

You can get through this. Keep posting to us.

wanttodie · 23/08/2011 10:19

Baby is fine (6 months old) dp will talk tomorrow but has made it clear we are over. I'm in edinburgh

wanttodie · 23/08/2011 10:19

Baby is fine (6 months old) dp will talk tomorrow but has made it clear we are over. I'm in edinburgh

venusandmars · 23/08/2011 10:21

There are other posters on here who have had their relationships with their dc disrupted by their drinking. But they have used that awful time to fix their determination, to get support, and have started rebuilding those relationships again.

It is possible. You can make it happen.

obrigada · 23/08/2011 10:25

Wantto, there are so many wise women (and man) on here that can help you through this.

wanttodie · 23/08/2011 10:42

My dp has phoned my father! He is worried but thinks I need to talk but I can't talk to my father! I need to talk to him. I need to get to a meeting

venusandmars · 23/08/2011 10:44

So can you get a plan together ready for your talk with dp tomorrow?

First thing - NO drinking today (from what you've posted you didn't drink yesterday). Can you do this without being locked up at your father's house?

Next thing prove to yourself that you are serious about getting help. Try the following:

Edinburgh & Lothian Council on Alcohol. They have a drop in service on a Wednesday at 3pm. Call them today (0131 337 8188) and arrange to go. They are at Clifton Terrace, Haymarket. Get someone to go with you if you think you migth back out.

SMART recovery at Simpson House, Queen Street. They have a group meeting today at 12.30. I don't know if you need to be referred, but call them now (0131 225 6028 / 0131 220 3404)

AA meetings in Edinburgh as follows: 1pm today in Shandwick Place; 2pm in Lauriston Place at Tollcross; 6pm in Palmerston Place; 8pm in five, yes FIVE, different locations across the city, from Portobello to Dalkeith. Call them (0845 7697 555).

wanttodie · 23/08/2011 10:48

I'm sure I can stop for now! This is my rock bottom. I thought I had hit it before. What are peoples thoughts on antabuse? Thankyou wonderful babes

wanttodie · 23/08/2011 10:48

I'm sure I can stop for now! This is my rock bottom. I thought I had hit it before. What are peoples thoughts on antabuse? Thankyou wonderful babes

Isindebetterplace · 23/08/2011 10:50

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Isindebetterplace · 23/08/2011 10:54

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

wanttodie · 23/08/2011 11:02

I have managed a tea and 85 million fags! Of which I will run out of soon. I'm waiting for gps call but as I have been in a diff city I'm not sure what she can do. My father is not supportive of aa. He thinks it makes me worse. I physically ache for my baby.

MsGee · 23/08/2011 11:21

wantto you are getting excellent advice from Isindie and venus so just wanted to add my support.

can you get to a meeting today? even if your father doesn't support AA can you get there? would he take you? or can you call AA and get someone to collect you. It sounds like he is trying to help but keeping you locked up and away from your baby might not be the way forward. Could you return to be nearer DP and baby and still have support, go to AA etc? Can you get a plan together for before you talk to DP tmrw?

Original poster
Mouseface · 23/08/2011 11:22

Hey Babes

wantto - I had Antabuse some years ago now. It was when I was with my XP and I'd taken to drinking to blot out the life I was in.

Is your baby with you? Sorry, I may have missed something.......

Antabuse didn't really work for me. It helped for the first few days but I wasn't ready to give up alcohol at the time and continued to drink heavily, so it failed, or rather I did.

Who else do you have in your life to support you? Do you have any close friends? Family?

You CAN'T do this alone sweets, you NEED physical and emotional support.

Have you had a drink so far today?

OP posts:
wanttodie · 23/08/2011 11:30

I have mum and dad but they don't understand! Dp has suggested rehab. I can't do that

Original poster
Mouseface · 23/08/2011 11:39

Okay, so what can you do? What do YOU think can help YOU. Today?

OP posts:
venusandmars · 23/08/2011 11:49

wantto why can't you do rehab? Are you scared of being away from your baby, panicing about not having access to alcohol if you need it?

Do you know what you want your GP to do - refer you to somewhere?

I agree with msgee - is there a supportive friend that you can stay with near to your dp so that you can see your baby (and get support for your drinking) while things settle down and get sorted out?

dementedma · 23/08/2011 11:56

wantto nothing to add to the excellent support you are getting but just to add another voice and hope you can stay strong and move forward, even in tiny steps.

wanttodie · 23/08/2011 11:58

I don't have any friends near dp. I was in the process of moving to be with hime. I have just begged him to take me back. I spoke to gp. She told me not to get my hopes up but she will see what she can do. I still want to die

wanttodie · 23/08/2011 11:58

I don't have any friends near dp. I was in the process of moving to be with hime. I have just begged him to take me back. I spoke to gp. She told me not to get my hopes up but she will see what she can do. I still want to die

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