The Brave Babes Battle Bus - We're All Going On A Sober Holiday!

[Mouseface]

Hello, I'm Mouse

Welcome to the Brave Babe's Bus. This is a bus full of drinkers old and new, sober and not, and those who are somewhere in between.

We are all at different levels of sober so you can bet that one of us has walked in your shoes.

If you want advice and support then you're in the right place.

Come take a seat or just lurk, we're happy to have you along for the ride.

And here is a link to the last thread so you can catch up on the journey so far HERE

Afternoon all,

Mouse No, I'm not on AD's, that's DH!! I'm ok, just get a bit down feeling lonely in my marriage sometimes. It may be that the Ad's Dh has been taking for a while have an effect on him, but, I think it's more to do with me, thinking what I want, and, at the moment it's not the relationship that I have with Dh. It takes two though, and I think that maybe just lately I haven't been trying to live the life he feels happy with (although to me, that life looms ahead as being just bloody dead boring).
I have many new things starting in September, and I want him to be excited and chatty with me about them, not like some of the conversations we do have where I feel like I'm a client (and not in a good way ).

La, la.... nothing to moan about really in the big sceme of things. I am very lucky in so many ways.
Two nights away in hotel for DC's graduation, we'll see how that one pans out!!!

Back later, but then I won't be around until next week, so don't worry, anyone!
xx

P.s also visiting my lovely Mum and Dad Mouse which is a real treat, I always get looked after, and feel like a safe little girl again!

afternoon all!

fisrt of all - HAPPY BIRTHDAY DTS!!! a big kiss from aunty jesus!!! XXXXXXXXXX

thurso - you lovley lady!, i have to say that dd moving out has affected me FAR more than i thought it would, i have felt lonely, old, useless and sometimes i miss her so much i could weep, i keep looking back in my mind to all the little things she did that made me laugh when she was little, all the times when she said things that melted my heart and all the times i said 'no' or 'im too busy' and i wish with all my heart i could go back and change things, i wish to god that i had had the courage to have more children (long story, my choice and apologies if that sounds insensitive to those who struggle!) and sometimes i look at dh wonder if this is all life will ever be (odd, given that i love him dearly!), tbh, i have no idea what im looking for, i have a lovley life, for some reason i just have this overwhelming sense of loss all i can put it down to is dd growing up and me getting old and menopausal - i think all we can do is plough on, keep going, find things that interest our minds and just weather the storm!

i cherish the time i spend with dd these days (even when it costs me vast amounts of money! ) and im encouraging dh to take up dangerous sports! helps keep the 'boring' side of him at bay! im taking us to view new harley davidsons next week!

sorry, that seems a bit of an self indulgent post!

Happy 1st Birthday to Indie's little girls. Wow, that's gone fast!

JWN not at all self indulgent, exactly what I'm feeling like at the moment, and just what I needed to hear. That I wasn't alone!
I have booked three lots of theatre tickets for the weeks after they've both gone, something we can do together.
Dh did ask if I'd like to go and watch him play squash last night,....um, nooo!
I too, love Dh dearly and he has been my rock and soulmate, but, oh I do sometimes hanker after the bad boys I have known!!!!
Crikey, I'm a cliche.

oooooh thurso - dont get me started about bad boys!!! i married a couple of them! i still find the roar of a harley and the whiff of black leather a bit of a head turner! , then i see they are either old and paunchy or young enough to be my son!

anyway - wos up swallowed? - its nice to have you back but you sound a bit sorry for yourself!, still, means you've come to the right place!

dont mind at all!!

do you want to stop compleatly or cut down? - tbh, i used to find 'cutting down' was soul destroying, i failed time and again, beat myself up about it, gave up the fight and just drank myself silly - i find it so much less exhausting to just not drink, its the first decision i make every morning, sets me up for the day and the longer it goes on, the easier it gets - the thought of a hangover is just horrific!

Are you drinking in the day a lot Swallowed?

swallowed - its not a 'small sounding goal' AT ALL!!! - you can ONLY stop drinking a day at a time!, dont think about saturday yet, concentrate on thursday, on thursday

WE WILL NOT BE DRINKING!!

just for thursday! - what else can you do instead of sitting in the pub? have you got a list of things that need doing?, if you have, why not try and tackle the first thing on the list, keep your mind occupied and your hands busy - just for thursday!!

you can tackle friday on friday!

AAAAARgh!! just looked up the train times, so that I don't have to be in the same car!!

SAF

Welcome to the Bus

Sounds as thought you've got yourself in a cycle of kind of existing to me?

So you day starts, this and that happens, you feel the need to maybe 'reward' yourself with a drink? You've gotten through the morning so you deserve a drink.

That's how I am. Some days. Been to hell and back tonight with Nemo - trying to switch off so the white wine has arrived. Stupidly but 'it's been one of those days'

'Those' days can often trip you up. So, the wine is now in DH's glass and Nemo is finally asleep. I am off to bed after Sherlock.

Tomorrow is a tough day, DH is away, and Friday. Then we're in Brum to see his mum, BIL, SIL etc..... lots of pressure. I'm hoping that I can 'cope' too.

Saf - keep posting, stay for a while. Let it out.

Sorry for typos. And Saf - I meant welcome back xx

Off to bed now. xx

thurso focus on the dcs and getting them out there, and then have a long hard think about you! Easy to say I know!
One day you will be free - just not today. hang on to the thought of one day.

Hi saf good to see you around. Sitting in your garden with a book tomorrow sounds wonderful - much, much better than being in the pub. Or if that feels too self indulgent or difficult (or puts you under pressure to do the ironing or cleaning instead) then why not go and sit in a park and read, or in a local coffee place, or in the library? Indulge yourself and feel good about it. Ok so you'll not get any of your list of tasks done, but why not reward yourself for not having a drink, rather than punish yourself by doing chores? After all, the chores will still all be there another day. And then one day you will feel like doing some of the tasks of your list, and I can guarantee that you will feel even better then. I know that when I was drinking I became terribly lazy about getting things done, and it only took a few days without drink for me to have moer energy and enthusiasm.

thurso I know what it is like. dd2 is back from her travels but we hardly see her. dp has hobbies but they all involve extreme cycling or hill running so we don't do those together, although I sometimes join him at events and go for a nice stroll . Since dd2 went away last year I've made a big effort to try and find things for us to do that are interesting or different, so that we don't fall into a rut of sitting on our respective backsides each evening staring at computer screens. dp is compliant (usually) with my ideas, but I get really fed up that it all seems to be my responsibility, he seems to be incapable of looking on the internet to find something that's on locally, or of generating any ideas. It seems that he would be happy to sink into premature old couple-dom.

I too know that I've not got much to moan about, but it sometimes helps just to offload.

oops saf I see it was the PUB garden you were going to sit in.... Well that sounds OK if you are really sure that it IS the sitting and reading that you enjoy. If it's sitting and reading with a glass of wine, then I'd give it a miss for tomorrow and find somewhere else lovely to read your book

mouse how are things, you sound a bit frazzled. Just a very gentle reminder that 'hoping' you can cope over the next few days is not a very strong strategy (assuming that you're speaking about coping with not drinking). I know from my experience that I needed some more active strategies that hope to make sure that I didn't have a drink when the pressure was up. So plan for all those lovely non-alcoholic drinks that you love, go out and buy them and put them in your fridge. Plan a fun evening with dd - coke and popcorn and a dvd? Plan a relaxing bath with some luxury bath oils. Do whatever waxing, nail cutting, eyebrow plucking, beauty treatments need done before the weekend. Plan to focus on your wonderful nemo - he is the reason that you are doing this xx

Hi to JWN and a big wave to ma