The Brave Babes Battle Bus - We're All Going On A Sober Holiday!

[Mouseface]

Hello, I'm Mouse

Welcome to the Brave Babe's Bus. This is a bus full of drinkers old and new, sober and not, and those who are somewhere in between.

We are all at different levels of sober so you can bet that one of us has walked in your shoes.

If you want advice and support then you're in the right place.

Come take a seat or just lurk, we're happy to have you along for the ride.

And here is a link to the last thread so you can catch up on the journey so far HERE

Thanks venus that's very helpful. I will mull it over a bit more but also I think I need to stop 'thinking about it' so much. I'm worried that if I'm not on my guard it will sneak up and attack me from behind . Not that I'm paranoid or anything .

thank you so much to you all - mouse, venus isindie faire legal jesus as always I am blown away by the support that I get on here. I am still processing everything so will respond properly later but please know that all your words mean a great deal to me.

venus thank you for posting that. I might print it out and read it every day. I am trying to create a lot of structure to get me through things - time for work, time for gym (not this week but ...), time for DD etc.

issindie thank you so much, your words brought tears to my eyes. each one had so much thought and poignancy.

legal you voiced my thoughts on many things so eloquently - I want to be there where I have made my decision not to have more children and be at peace with that. I know its the only decision I can make, I just don't feel ok with it all yet. Your post made me hope that I can do do that.

venus and mouse thank you for the lovely words. mouse, I am so sorry if this is bringing back bad memories for you. I could see you stamping your foot and taking care of me at the same time. Thank you both for mentioning poo-gate. It made me laugh. I do still think of you both whenever we wave a poo down the loo after naming it!! mouse you are right DD does rock.

Right onto business Faire I could have written your post on Saturday. I do the same but I always get from 'two glasses feeling ok' to 'necking the bottle and wanting more and feeling stroppy because there isn't more and if there is its not there quickly enough' (all in one breath). Some times it takes one day to get from A to B, sometimes a few months but as soon as I check in at A, I am on the path to B. Each and every time. However, each and every time I kind of had to do it. Sometimes I would just hurry to B again so it was over and done with, rather than the trying to control it.

However, as venus said, that is not the way for everyone. Perhaps you needed to take that test? The only thing that stands out for me is that you are right: a 'normal' drinker would have had two glasses of wine and gone to bed. They wouldn't have thought about it. They'd probably have to think if you asked how much they drank and it would be no big deal. They probably wouldn't be writing on this thread ... As someone said before (jesus ?) perhaps its not about the amount we drink but the head space that it takes up?

Jeez, long post - sorry.. x

Hi hope everyone is OK. Been away for a few days and trying to catch up.

saf I understood. So what is the plan for the rest of the day?

sounds good - what are you going to cook? DH is going to have beans on toast again ...

Just started raining here, so hopefully it cools things down.

opened the fridge half an hour ago to cook and thought: hmm, has been one of those days, was really good last night, maybe just one glass? And then thought: no, it's not that it's a bad day, it's just that it's 5pm and the witching hour. poured diet coke. If I can withstand temptation for two hours I'll be fine.

Fairenuff can identify with what you're saying. Am hoping with the Mon to Thurs rule that I can move from no drinking on Monday to Thursday and I'm allowed a few drinks on the weekend to no drinking on Monday to Thursday and I might have a few drinks on the weekend if I feel like it. And regardless of anything the zero tolerance rule has to stay in month for six months minimum and possibly a year, or I think I will backslide.

(Pathetically, I checked the calendar earlier today and the first two days of our Xmas holiday with family and christmas eve/christmas day both fall on sat/sun.)

Grilled chicken, baby new potatoes and salad for us

Right, I have been shopping (again) for holiday clothes (flying out in six days ooh la la).

Need help though. Am after a really good book or two as will spend most of the time round the pool with little dips to cool off now and then )

Can anyone recommend a good read. I have read everything by Philippa Gregory and some current ones The Slap, One Day etc. Am open to suggestions. What are your favourites? Thanks babes

legal I'm a 5pm girl too. Got my lime & soda on the go

have moved onto the heavy stuff - ribena!

Book suggestions - the pressure! I've been on a popular non-fiction splurge lately (can really recommend Bounce by Matthew Syed - the source of numerous subsequent dinner party conversations). On the fiction front, I enjoyed the gentle humour of Major Pettigrew's Last Stand (Helen Simonsen) and have just discovered Colm Tobin - Brooklyn is beautifully written and am now onto The Empty Family, which is a series of short stories so great for dipping into and out of....

Faire I should have come to your house for tea, sounds yummy - we had pizza. however, I did do an online shop last night, so we are sorted for the next week.

I seem to be crying a lot at the moment which makes me wonder if I am ok or not. I had a GP telephone appointment this morning and he is referring me to a bereavement counsellor linked to the surgery and to a specialist re genetic counselling.

Now for an effective day..

msgee bereavement counselling sounds like a good idea - you've got a good GP. Crying is not unusual - it's what we do when have have a lot of sadness to deal with. If fact I'd say that crying is a good sign. Denying your emotions would be more dangerous.

thanks venus yes the GP is lovely, better than the other one at the surgery who asked how many weeks pg I was and then referred me for abortion choices counselling .... a month after the termination. Bless him.

Hi everyone,

MsGee I asked for bereavement counselling (my mum died at the age of 60 just over 2 months ago) and was told that the professional body for counsellors (which I think is called BACP) have said that bereavement counselling can't start less than 6 months after the bereavement. I think any decent counsellor is registered with them. I have things I need to get through - my mum and I probably had a "co-dependent" relationship - yes, in quotes as I am struggling to understand it, and that is probably part of my grief. And I am sure part of yours is related to the termination even though your lovely baby would have died anyway. I guess I am not helpful directly, I just wanted to share what I have learned.

I am so tired, I am not sure whether here is the place to mention it, but I had a long chat with my sponsor last night about other "substances" that I use to make me feel better. Is it ok to list them? I need to talk them through with her, for sure, and my I am learning about my personality daily.

Love to all and hope this hasn't put others off - I see "lurkers" joining - please come and talk about things, that's what this thread is there for.

morning!!

noteven - i would think that if you are now feeling ready to talk about 'other substances' then it would be a good idea to do so! i feel a bit concerned for you though, im assuming you are talking about drugs (forgive me if im wrong, i mean no insult!) the thing is, your sponsor may not be the right person to go to, she is after all just another alkie at aa, great for someone to talk to about drinking not maybe not so good for dealing with other stuff, do you think a professional drugs 'adviser' (whatever they are called) would be a better choice? - im in no way trying to put you off talking about your problems with someone, just concerned you get to the 'right' person!

noteven of course its ok to talk about other things here. Last year we had many days discussing my DD's poo habits (poogate ) - I was told that that if its something that I am worrying about and its all tied up to stress and therefore drinking its fair game. Using other substances as a way of not drinking does sound like its part and parcel of the same thing?

noteven I had heard that about bereavement counselling and to be honest had thought that I was doing ok and that being sad was a natural part of grieving - until the GP said he was worried about my mental health.

saf can I ask about why you didn't like the cruse appraoch (I don't know anything about them - just interested).

Afternoon Babes

MsGee - your posts haven't brought back bad memories at all, just memories. I actually went out to the garden yesterday with Nemo and talked to the boy's tree. It helps me to know that they are still around in a physical sense IYKWIM? That might sound utterly bonkers to some people but it helps me.

noteven is right, there is a certain time period that has to pass before any bereavement counsellor worth their salt will see you. It's all part of the grieving process and the emotions that you go through in that time.

I think counselling is a fantastic idea for you. I hope that when you do get to talk to someone, you feel that you can connect to them and let it all out sweetheart. Huge hugs to you xxxx

I'm going out to a friend's house tonight. She's NOT drinking as she's on a detox. The thing is, I'm going to drink and have planned what I'm taking (2 bottles of Bulmer's Cider, yum!), as is another friend who is going but in the last few days, all we've had is 'I'm not drinking but you two can if you like' and 'I don't need to drink and I hate how it makes me feel' type comments.

Now, for me, that sounds like a person who can't or won't stop once she's started, very much like I was. My friend said that her DH came home on Saturday night with a litre bottle of gin and they drank it all between them.

There is almost and air about her of 'you drink if you need to but I don't' A guilt trip?

Time will tell I guess.

I'm going on my jolly hollyidays tomorrow but will be around to get my fix of The Adventures From The Brave Babes Bus

I like Christopher Brookmyre books, and Kate Atkinson is a good fictional crime/thriller writer too. She did

Case Histories, posted too soon!

Hey saf

I'd not have them removed, it's YOUR experience of cruise, not the general consensus. We all have our own ideas of what works, what we fancy trying etc..... just let it stay I'd say

I'm grand thanks sweets, just off to said friend's house who is in denial, you met her, so the next few hours will be fun. Thing is, she can be really nice one on one. Add other people into the mix and she gets a bit 'Jonny Big Balls' if you know what I mean?

I'm a bit meh about going but want to see my other friend who is adorable. She (other friend) will be drinking so maybe we'll see what happens when we drink and she doesn't.

Anyway, I'm outta here for tonight. Be back for my Brave Babe Fix before I go tomorrow.

Hope the quietness here indicates a nice evening in the garden with a tall nothing and tonic??

Be safe Babes xx

I love the phrase "nothing and tonic". Am going to borrow it.

Still on the wagon but very bored with elderflower cordial. Have drunk a whole bottle (diluted) over the last four days so perhaps not surprising. Am beginning to understand the need for a range of exciting non-alcoholic drinks.

Feeling exhausted, which I think may be the result of a significant drop in calorie intake.

Am planning an absurdly early night involving a good book, fennel tea and toast.

"..and to all a good night"...