Father doesn't want baby! He says abortion :'( :'( :'(

[badmothertoo]

Im in a right mess. I am 34, single, two young children (2 and 4) and found out on Monday I'm pregnant again to someone I've only been seeing 4 months. Stupid I know, we used condoms and the 'safe time' after a period, as I was regular, but obviously caught out one weekend when I went to scatter my mother's ashes!! STUPID but it has happened and there's little point going over that now.

....what I want to know is, are there any other mothers out there whose partners initially didn't want their babies? Did they kick and fuss, then think about it, and come round to the idea????

He just says he doesn't want a baby and its a bad idea (which, yes, our lives aren't exactly great) but 'abortion' doesn't immediately enter my head as an option! If you're pregnant, you're pregnant that's it. Can you even HAVE an abortion just cos you're life's not bloody right????

I'm totally confused. He says he doesn't want to lose me, but he doesn't want a baby. But twice, he has said he doesn't know what he wants...he wants to keep it but he doesn't want to keep it.

He wouldn't come see me last night, said he needed to think. We talked on MSN and when I said I was going he asked me not to go, to stay and talk with him.

Then this morning, he sent me a text again saying he's sorry but he doesn't want a baby now.

Experience and insight needed pleeeese.

would totally second that observation hd!
bmt, how are you?

Something to remeber is that if he felt you were taking precations about contraception then he is perfectly wihtin his rights to feel shocked, angry and confused about an unplanned pregnancy.

You have the right to decide what to do with your body and your life but so does he.

You can have an abortion for whatever reason you feel is important. I got pregnant accidentally 2 months after meeting my (now) husband. We were sitll in very early stages of daitng and I caught a tummy bug which upset my pill. Neither of us were even sure if we were in the relationship for the long term let alone about children. I was only 23 and knew I ceritnaly didn't plan on children at that age. So I chose not to continue with the pregnancy.

I've seen 3 relationships of friends break up because the woman got pregnant when they weren't planning it and they felt they had to 'go ahead' both with the relationship and the pregnancy. In one case nto only did the couple split up but the baby now lives with its grandparents because the girl wasn't that keen on babies anyway and once she was faced with being a isngle mum she had a break down.

I disagree that anyone having sex has the right to feel shocked angry and confused about pregnancy.

When contraception is 100% effective, then yes. But otherwise, with a 0.5% failure rate or whatever it is, that's a hell of a lot of unplanned people in the world and someone has to be the unlucky one. No-one's got the right to expect it not to be them, in that sense.