The Brave Babes Carry On Past The Easter Booze Offers.

[NotTheMessiahJustMouseface]

Hello,

I'm Mouse, well, I am usually!

Welcome to the Brave Babes Bus.

This is a journey of sobriety, started almost a year ago by the wonderful jesuswhatnext. So why not come aboard and find a seat. There's heaps of support on here whether you are sober, drinking or somewhere in the middle.

And, for those of you who want a bit of history, here are the Previous Threads

Good evening babes,

How are you all tonight?

Dh gone off to play squash, so have a minute!

Little bit of an up and down weekend for us, with me going off like an incendiary device, at random moments! We have definitely cleared the air (for a while) though, so onward...!

Isinde your girls are so beautiful, the photo made me come over all broody, especially as I've got two boys, and never got to do pink hats .

Mouse I hope you have had a lovely day with Nemo, and enjoyed all your visits, and visitors.

Ma how are things with you? Have you managed to re-kindle the flame for DH in your deepest self? I only ask because I think that, that is what has seen me through some dark moments in my thoughts about (my) DH. I do know that I really love him, and he loves me, and if we've got that we can hopefully get through the difficult times (if that doesn't sound too Mills and Boon!).

We have a milestone Birthday on Friday, DC2 is 18!!!! , how did that happen , from two year old tousle headed cutie, to 6ft blondie charmer (yes, I'm biased too Inde!), I tell you Mouse, you turn your back for a moment, and they have all growed up! .
xxx

P.S JWN Congratulations on 11 months.

indie 10 days??? you kept that quiet girl! Well done!
Thurso For me I don't think it can be rekindled but I can endure, particularly as we are talking now and DH detemined to make things better. he is going back into counselling and is at least listening to me, for now anyway. Can't really ask for more than that, but the issue remains that he loves me and can't live without me, and i don't love him, and could quite happily live on my own.
I did another 30 minute jog today which i am pleased with.
Our DC2 will be 18 in September, if i don't murder her first!!!

Morning all,

qo, cheermum, golly, luci, eight, changeling, obrigada how are you this morning?, sorry for anyone I haven't name checked, I must start writing names down!

Mouse I hope you are all not too tired after your busy weekend.

Inde Is it today that you go away for work? I'll keep you company with a lime and tonic tonight. Well done on 10 yesterday, or 11 days today. I'm feeling the benefit again, better sleep,etc.

Ma Crikey, well done on your run, I'm going to try to get back to swimming. I went religiously, every morning, for months, and then tailed off. You have inspired me! I'm glad that things are on a more even keel with DH, but I'm sad to think that you are enduring rather than having the love and life you deserve. We all do it at times, I guess. Maybe if DH does go to counselling, he won't be so needy, and you can then think about where you want to go, and perhaps not with him! Sending you my love.

I'm back at work today, but actually feel quite relaxed since I packed them off at 7.30, I think the two long weekends have been a bit of a strain, with all the talk, if truth be told.

I found this lovely quote by Grouch Marx, of all people, when I sent DH an email this morning:

"I, not events have the power to make me happy, or unhappy today. Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn't arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I'm going to be happy in it."

That suits me, for today

Venus How are you? Isn't this the month that DD comes home? Yippee!!

Love to all
xxxx

Groucho !!!

Morning all!!

Indie well done on 10 days and JWN 11 months wow!! what an achievement - you're the living proof that it CAN be done!!
ma that sounds like such a sad situation :( are you ok with things being like that?

I'm feling so chipper and upbeat, I managed to get loads done this weekend, and it's helped no end - I feel really positive and good about myself, I've had some quality time with the kids, with no drink at all - it's been fab, I'm loving it.

The only thing is that today it will be 10 days since I left the house, and I actually kind of like it like this - I needed to lock myself away from everyone to get my head straight, and now it is straight(er) I still don't want to go out or see anyone.

I don't know whether to face up to it or not, it's helping - so if it aint broke dont fix it? on the other hand, I have to see dd off on a residential trip in about a fortnight, and the thought's already making me panic a bit.

I've just done my tesco shop (no alcohol) and I'm going to spend most of the day carrying on with the great garden clean up - it's actually starting to look like a garden now!!

mouse how was nemo's birthday? hope you all had a lovely day xx

x-posted thurso - that's a great quote and it's going to be my new motto!!

Hi qo,
You sound great today. Well done. For all my opinions worth, if you don't have to go out, why force yourself? It will come, and you have done so well, maybe give yourself a few more days, and see how you feel then? Actually that's why I haven't been back swimming, I didn't feel like putting on the "it's all lovely" face, to people who were swimming acquaintances.
xx

morning!!, must be quick as i have a mega manic week at work, all this time off has played havoc with my deadlines!

qo - not sure if staying in is a good or a bad thing, i would say that it might be a good idea to maybe plan a small trip to the shops or park or something with the kids!, they know the score and the the older one will be there to keep you 'safe', iyswim?, i do think its important that leaving the house does not become a huge issue! - i remember that feeling of almost terror i had in that leaving the house would almost certainly mean that i would drink - the first few weeks i did kind of 'hunker down', as i felt very safe and got a couple of weeks of sobriety under my belt before i socialised properly - i did find that staying in for a while kind of re-connected me to my home, focused my mind etc, i remember doing loads of jobs that i had neglected and it really gave me a boost, so i hope your garden is looking lovley! , so i suppose im saying, plan a trip out in a few days, somewhere gentle (no hoards of people all in a rush), your mind is defiantly becoming calmer and i reckon in a few days you will handle it just fine!

sorry, thats a bit of a waffle , i hope you get my drift though?

Hi everybody, glad to hear everyone so upbeat. I'm hideously depressed I'm afraid . I decided that AA was not right for me after a lot of reelection and thought. I just can't get the Higher Power, the forgiveness, basically a lot of the Big Book stuff, although I thought I could It's all too much at the moment! I'm not saying it isn't right for a lot a people - and I have met loads of lovely people, I just can't get my head around it right now. I'm in such a muddle, no job, dh clearly beside himself with worry about money, I'm on anti-d's, can't sleep, have so much childhood trauma going around in my head..it's all a mess. I'm not drinking - that is a huge problem (not that I'm not, my drinking I mean ) but I'm just feeling useless and pointless. I've felt like the mother from hell these past few weeks as I have just not wanted to be around the children. ds is a sensitive little soul who just looks worried to death that I'm going to start drinking again - my sponsor told me i won't be able to stay sober without them - argh,it's all too much! Sorry for the moan. I intend to try to spend today being constructive and looking for a job (just like any other day then) I do have an interview tomorrow but it's in a town about 40 miles away and the thought of driving there is stressing me out, let alone the interview! God, what a state to be in!

hi changling - im so sorry to hear you sounding so miserable - perhaps aa is not right for you, imo there is no point in flogging a dead horse, it does sound to me like you do need some outside help though!, have you looked in to counselling? - there is not much you can do about money worries but one thing i have found is that by staying sober you stay far more rational, which in my book is always a help! (and you arnt spending money just to piss it away and feel like shit!)

fwiw, i think that most parents have times when their children just feel like a drain on their soul , i think that the feeling will pass though, just give yourself some time, try and find a calm place in your head and allow yourself to heal a little!, you certainly arnt useless or pointless, you are just in crisis right now and need a bit of care and support!

im finding that as i get older my dm was right in one thing , things never stay the same, hard times do get better and life is worth living, just be kind to yourself and everything else will follow!

oh, and also, your sponsor is wrong!, AA is a tool to help with soberity, not the be all and end all!

If you find AA is not for you, then what?
stinkin-thinkin.com/2009/04/01/what-then-if-not-aa/

JWN I totally get your drift, you've descrbed exactly what I've been doing. I am worried that leaving the house may become a problem, but I'm determined to sort myself out once and for all - I don't want to swap one problem for another. I'm quite happy at the mo, I'll work on it maybe next weekend.

Not only do I not want to go anywhere, I don't want anyone coming here either, for one I feel like it's my sanctuary and if I'm just left alone I can deal with things on my own - and secondly, I feel people are looking at me and just seeing "my problem" now, one person in particular is doing it already just through phone & text conversations.

changeling I feel for you, I lost my job back in march, with all the problems that brings inc money worries, and I have all the childhood issues too. AA isn't for me either for personal reasons, and it isnt the only way - I hope you find the way to suit you. personally I'm taking a lot of strength from this thread

oh and forgot to say good luck for the interview!!! :)

great link chattex. Thanks so much.

"I just can't get the Higher Power, the forgiveness, basically a lot of the Big Book stuff, although I thought I could It's all too much at the moment! I'm not saying it isn't right for a lot a people - and I have met loads of lovely people, I just can't get my head around it right now." Fuck all that, because it's optional - as is having a sponsor (I don't, for example, and am 8 years sober). If AA meetings make you feel better or more able to cope with life, then attend them. The rest will come (or not) in its own time.

and if anyone EVER tells you "you have to do it this way" point them towards Tradition 3 and then tell them to fuck off.

Thanks for the thread, chattex - though I think it only fair to point out that it seems more concerned with American AA which is known for being far more doctrinaire than British AA. Indeed, British AA members themselves attack, in speech and on the internet, meetings that say "this is the way it has to be, do this or die" - I believe their site is called "cultwatch".

Also, it is true that AA's success rate is the same as trying on your own. What this tends to overlook, though, is that the majority of the people in AA tried very hard to quit on their own resources and failed. In other words, going it alone might work for 5% of people - but it didn't work AT ALL for the 5% of people in AA. That's why they're in AA. As for the other 90% (which also includes a lot of people who tried and failed to go it alone) - well, it's not fun to think about them, is it?

hello mif you honeypie! - i have noticed that the only 2 people i have met in AA who say its 'the only way' are, although fairly long term sober, still pretty scared of life and seem to 'endure' soberity rather than embrace it and start grabbing life by the balls! (so to speak! )

Hey JWN congrats on 11 months your zest for life and positive attitude continue to inspire and amaze me . I am a month behind you!! Incidentally I do not, and have not ever attended AA. I believe no two individuals are the same, what ever works for YOU is the right way. The tricky bit is finding what works for YOU. I think for me I had to own up and take absolute responsibility for my drinking, and all the crap that those choices created. It was/is painful at times, but here I am and each day does get easier. I will not allow myself off the hook, if I return to drinking everything will be the same as before, I will not suddenly be able to drink normally. Blimey I've peaked and its only Tuesday

lovely to see you missp! and i agree absoluty!, horse for courses and all that!

Meant to say thanks to Jesus and qo too - am trying to figure all this stuff out - but one thing is for sure, it is sooo much easier with a clear head

Very quiet on here today, am back on Day 3!

How on earth are we meant to know what 'Chapter 3', or 'Tradition Three' means?