The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Giving Up Booze For Lent.

[Mouseface]

Hello.

I'm Mouse.

We are a Bus load of posters with various relationships with the demon booze. Some are sober, some are not and some are inbetween.

So come say hi and meet the rest of The Babes, there's always plenty of room on the Bus, the doors are ALWAYS open.

No judgy pants are worn on this journey, pants yes and even the odd Tena Lady but always of the non judging variety.

Previous Threads

Hello, I'm venus, I'm an alcoholic.

I meditate, cogitate, deliberate, pontificate - all a pointless waste of time but it keeps me sober, and I know that spending my life in a pissed-up state was the biggest waste of time ever.

i am jesus (and delusional! ) and im an alcoholic! - i can state that being sober improves many things except spelling!

Hello
I'm Threesteps and I'm still here following the thread and getting ideas and food for thought...
It's great you're here. Maybe for lent I should give up lurking so much
xx

Morning ladies

I went to a meeting last night, the same meeting I went to for the first time last week and I came away feeling bloody angry and pissed off.

A woman came in who I vaguely recognised (this is not a problem for me now on the whole, the possibility of seeing people I know in meetings) but half way through the meeting I remembered where I knew her from.

Three years ago I went to a place called adaction for addiction counselling (for alcohol). I was assessed by a woman I really clicked with and we both hoped I would be assigned her as my counsellor, but instead I was given a trainee who I immediately didn't take to at all. I tried to get it changed but the centre manager said 'you get what you're given' (with the implication that I should be bloody grateful for getting anything at all) so I had to stick with the woman I had been assigned, who I felt judged me in every session. It was nothing she said, but she wasn't very good at hiding her facial reactions to what I said.

Added to that, when the sessions came to an end (with no noticeable positive effect in my life), she said that if I needed a top up session to call and leave her a message.

Five weeks later my mum died, and a couple of weeks after that I rang and left the counsellor a message - she never got back to me and I ran out of steam.

Anyway (sorry for the essay), the woman at the meeting last night was the counsellor I had been assigned, and she didn't acknowledge me or didn't recognise me. I felt she was deliberately avoiding catching my eye - especially as my experience so far is that women at meetings are generally very open and friendly - which made me think that perhaps she was deliberately avoiding me.

God, sorry for ranting

golly - hope you feel better for the rant! , dont know what to say really, i have found that there a few people in aa that i instinctivly dislike, i guess thats true of all walks of life but i just feel these few people would drain my life force iyswim? (i know that sounds very melodramtic, but they are very negative, totally self centred and i just find their shares a misery fest!) - i just avoid them, thats all you can do with this woman i suppose!

Golly - I know that mouseface will be cross with me for posting on here, rather than the old thread, but I thought it made more sense to do it here....

Your experience at the meeting sounds upsetting, but am I right in thinking that this person who was previously training as an addictions counsellor is now attending your AA meeting. Is she attending as a fellow alcoholic? If so, then it is not surprising that she is now looking uncomfortable if she recognises you, and it might also go some way to explaining why the 2 of you didn't click in the previous situation. People can be attracted to counselling roles for a range of reasons, including the unconscious recognition within themselves of the very issues that they are offering counselling for. Obviously this can cause disruption in the client / counsellor relationship if the counsellor either identifies too closely with the client issues, or conversely reacts too strongly against them.

Counselling services are usually keeping a very close look out for issues like this, which is why there should be rigorous supervision. Former alcoholics can train as counsellors too but there is usually at least 2 years between resolving your own dependency and starting your training.

As JWN says, do what you can to keep away from her if you feel upset and focus on the friendly approach of ther other woman.

Hello Babes

No, not cross at all venus - I just thought the other thread might be better because it had more traffic xx

Hi Venus

I have no problem at all with her being a fellow AA member (she did a small share so I know that she wasn't there for any other reason), and I've always known that addiction counsellors are very often addicts in recovery themselves. I have no idea if she might have been still drinking whilst she was my counsellor but you're right, if she was, her own discomfort might certainly account for her judgemental attitude - even if she were in early recovery I could understand that she could have had conflicting issues.

I was very disappointed with the counselling that I had back then for the reasons I said yesterday. I had great hopes that it would be helpful, but because there was absolutely no chemistry (negative chemistry even!) it was worse than useless.

Anyway... Morning ladies I went to a great meeting last night - it's a huge one with people who are asked to come and share - and sat with a woman that I met at my first meeting a week ago. There are two more meetings that I want to check out when I get the chance and then I'm going to stop putting myself through the mill of being the new face in a new building and choose a home group, and possibly find a sponsor. I've realised that I've been being terribly self centred about the whole issue although I have been asking other people how they've been, and I'm not sure how to go about changing that, especially as I have so many questions still about AA and how it all works.

Hope you're all having a lovely day.

Hey All

I have found you!!

Well one hectic week down, and one to go .
I am in the calm in the middle of the storm at the moment.

DD is at at church youth group function, and DS is at his dad's. So I am having a very very very lazy afternoon (inbetween washing/emptying the dishwasher / packing for tonight).

Back down to London tonight for 3 nights, but I come off on holiday on Friday and can't wait to have very little to do .
Had a forced evening in the pub on Friday, but did manage to persuade a friend to go for a good long walk before hand, to minimise the time, but it was very hard watching everyone else drink whilst I had a soda and lime, there was a little voice in my head screaming "it's not fair it's not fair" . However I got through it and it wasn't the end of the world.

I have managed to find a meeting close to where I am staying on Monday - and I will be getting to it!! Just feel I need the resolve and serenity that a meeting brings.

On a personal level, the separation is moving so slowly, and I am still having periods of utter panic and despair about the situation, but nothing that a drink would not make 100 times worse.

Hope you are all well.

thurso, ma and venus are we moving forward on getting a date for us to go out and paint the town red have a cuppa?

Bafana
xxx

ah, here you all are!
collected niece - my sulky cow face dissolved after receiving a huge bear hug and "oh auntie demented, thank you So much for coming to get me!". (I love her really )
Got home, bacon butties, read the paper then crashed out in bed for 3 hours!!!
Feel a bit better, despite thumping headache. Got up to find load of washing in the machine and all the floors hoovered. Was about to praise my teens, who had obviously done this out of kindness while I was ill when DD1 muttered" bloody cat's got bloody fleas!" while all 3 of them sat there scratching like some orphlings with ringworm!!
Hey ho, got to go and make meatballs for the troops, plus niece plus grandma...hope i don't sneeze in the bowl. Extra mozzarella anyone?

ok, where is everyone? Are you all on another thread that I don't know about?
bafana Thurso is going to get back to us with dates and then we'll try and get something planned.

Sorry was cooking dinner. You okay Ma? xx

Evening all

Hope everyone's ok tonight (Ma - fleas notwithstanding!)

All well here, after colliding with some cava on Friday night (No! Really?! ) and tainting a special day yesterday with the usual hamster-wheel of thoughts, today's been a good day.

Am just enjoying a cup of tea before heading off to bed.

No , having managed to talk down the little demons suggesting it all afternoon because...oh, the sun's shining; I've had a nice day; I had a day off yesterday etc etc. It's the little demons who are convincing me, paradoxically, that I need to at least cut right down.

Evening all., just killing time before I get on the train, my ex has managed to piss me right off not exp, exh - like the person that left me 9 years ago.

His new wife hates me really not sure why or what I have done, but there you go. The horn buds and tail that I have to hide every morning before I leave the house are challenging, but heyho, thats the cross you have to bear when you are the shedevil of the North. Small pity party going on here .

The desire to climb on the train and down a bottle of wine is incredibly strong so I am telling you lot - so that you can all send positive mental thoughts my way please.

Bloody hell, how long does this shit have to carry on for, I have no issue with the woman, I do not wish to have him back, I let 90% of his/her shit wash over my head. The latest thing I have supposedly done is allowed my kids to go to the Panto with their Gran on her Dd's birthday. I emailed exh, about 6 weeks before and asked, and all was fine, but no - I have done it delibrately!!!!

I give up

Bafana, I'm sorry that you're having to bear the brunt of this woman's insecurities.

FWIW, very strong anti-wine vibes from here - as you know yourself, drinking won't make a blind bit of difference to her, but will knock you off course, and will torpedo your tomorrow.

Take care

Off to bed, night Babes xx

hey Bafana - stay strong!!!

Hope your evening was OK Bafana and that you managed to resist the wine. I'd have thought that having to go to the loo on the train many times would be enough to put you off. I have a hatred of toilets on trains and I'd suffer quite a lot of dehydration beforehand and a massively full bladder during a trip, just to avoid it!

My exh and I have managed for several years to parent our dds in a civilised way, however he has had a new partner for the last 18 months and now he's 'not allowed' to speak to me. What the F* is that all about

Hope the rest of you Babes have had a good day. We went our for dinner tonight with dd1 and her bf - drinks order was 3 lime & sodas and a gingerbeer

Morning All,

Thanks for doing the new thread Mouse, job for life there! I wouldn't know where to start. I hope your weekend went well, and that your back is better, and Nemo's cold.

Ma, how's your cold?

Golly what Venus said! about your ex-counsellor. It sounds as though she has many problems of her own, and maybe that is making her defensive, uncomfortable and unfriendly. Maybe she was avoiding you, because she felt guilty, doesn't make it any less unpleasant for you, though. Also, I don't have personal experience, But, from what I've read on here, no-one in AA would mind you asking questions about how it works.

Bafana I'mvery sorry that you had a horrible time just before you got on the train. Bloody timing! I can perfectly understand your desire to have some wine because you are Pi*ed off, but in the end, we only hurt ourselves by doing that ( voice of much pi*ssed off drinking, here! )

Trist well done on defeating the demon

Venus Is your DD still in India? I was thinking of you yesterday, don't know why, probably all the DC's going far away stuff.

I had a very long walk, and talk with DH yesterday, and basically came out with all my resentment, worries, and fears. It was emotionally draining, and I was very scared afterwadrs that I would set him right back. But, he said he was glad that I had told him, otherwise we would be living a facade..... I said that that is exactly what I felt I had been doing !
Anyway, we both agreed to talk more (is that possible for me ), and the day ended well. (but, not that well Ma! ).

Have good mornings all
Speak later

Hey, Indie how are you?, and Miflaw, did you have a good weekend?

Morning Babes!

Morning everyone!
Tired tired tired.
But otherwise all fine and alcohol-free

Morning all,

I resisted , got straight into jammies and bed. Actually slept pretty well, and am now on the train out to reading. Another critical point overcome. Will definitely get to a meeting tonight.

Also need to get to the shops ds has asked for a present, and I have been away so much recently that I am feeling really guilty!! So I shall endeavour to get him a wee something for being good for his grandad.

Thurso glad that the conversation went well, look after yourself honey!!
maddogs. You are doing well - day at a time!

trist thanks for the good vibes

Venus and ma. Mwah mwah - what would I do without
U both?

To all other bb's. - have a fab rocking alcohol free week.

Bafana
Xxx

thurso yes dd is still away. But her money runs out soon and she will be back in about 6 weeks time . I will be so glad to have her back on the same continent. She is doing really well, but I still get nervous every time I hear about earthquakes and tsunamis. Recently someone tried to mug her - although it was broad daylight and she was with friends so it was all OK. I know that anything like that could happen here too, and she is having a wonderful time and learning a lot about life and a lot about herself. Doesn't stop an old Mum from worrying though