The Brave Babes Carry On Past The Easter Booze Offers.

[NotTheMessiahJustMouseface]

Hello,

I'm Mouse, well, I am usually!

Welcome to the Brave Babes Bus.

This is a journey of sobriety, started almost a year ago by the wonderful jesuswhatnext. So why not come aboard and find a seat. There's heaps of support on here whether you are sober, drinking or somewhere in the middle.

And, for those of you who want a bit of history, here are the Previous Threads

That should be good wishes.

Morning all.

I'm obviously very easily amused; I'm still chuckling a bit at Venus talking to herself on the last few posts of the old thread...

Isinde - hope you're feeling ok this morning and aren't being too hard on yourself.

Mouse - thank you for your reply; you're right, it's just another "first" which will probably not be as big a deal as I'm dreading. Actually, the fact that the baby is so monumentally unsettled and un-sleeping is probably all the "excuse" I need. Sorry that you're in so much pain; hope that the new approach from the doctor helps you.

JWN - we have the same thing this weekend (hence the worrying about not drinking). Thank you for posting what you did. It is good to know how you're now able to do wine shopping and cope with it - gives me hope for the future IYKWIM.

to Serenity - well done!

I hope everyone else is ok today.

Bugger, knew I'd get my names mixed up! Sorry!

Morning Babes.

Trist - that's it lovely, keep it simple! Just take the pressure off yourself otherwise you'll whip your self up into such a state, your resolve will vanish and before you know it, you'll be tristspissed

Ma - was it you who asked about my pain?

I had severe SPD (technically called a fecked pelvis) when I was expecting Nemo. I was bed ridden and finally induced at 39 wks. Because of Nemo's 'Complex Needs', I've been unable to rest and now the back of my pelvis, the sacroiliac joint, is inflamed and out of line with my legs, hips and pelvis.

So I've been on crutches for 2.5 years, needed bed supports to aid sleep, very strong pain killers, physio and hydrotherapy. It was really hard at first, out lots of pressure on our marriage, sex life etc.

But for the first time in 2.5 yrs, I feel as though I am being taken seriously!

IsinDe - I know exactly how you are feeling about the cuts, it will hit us and Nemo will lose valuable support. We are also losing our nearest hospital where we can take him 24/7 as we have open access to it. We will have to travel an extra 30 mins, just to have him seen in an emergency.

I really feel for you and the people involved. Familes are under far too much strain as it is......

venus - MWAH to you for finishing the other thread, you are a star. I hope this weekend proves a walk in the park for you, you'll be in my thoughts xx

Maz - Thank you your kind thoughts lovely

MissP - WOWOWOWOWOWOW!!!!!!!!! Well done you! Fab achievement. I hope you are very proud of yourself.

Right, We are away for the weekend. I have a 3 hour car journey to look forward too, thank Jeff I have decent pain meds!

Be good Babes xxxxxxxx

Morning all!

Venus I love what you did with the old thread!

I'm impressed with you being able to buy wine yourself and not drink - I'll try to remember to come back to you for tips when I'm in that position. Atm DH isn't drinking because it's Lent and it makes my life so much easier ... to be honest I'm really dreading when he starts again, not because he drinks very much at all but because he will happily buy a bottle of beer and leave in in the fridge for days - I swear it looks at me!

AWNP - hope you are feeling good this morning! Day 4?

Hi tristmum I was filling up the old thread because sometimes if they're left with spaces someone who really feels in need of help googles and finds an old thread. A couple of months ago someone posted on an old thread and didn't get a reply for a couple of days, cos we all missed it. I know that when I was desperate, having a prompt reply to my posts felt like a lifesaver.

And anyway, I quite like talking to myself - at least I get sensible answers and no-one argues with me

Mouse, cross-posted with you. I had no idea how much you had on your plate - you are an amazing lady!

(Ooh, and yes, I will have a bacon sarnie! Mmm!)

Oh Venus, sorry, I didn't mean to sound sarcastic

Mouse, have a lovely weekend

Thurso Venus - how did it go? How did you recognise each other? Spill girls, I want all the details!!
Isindie - failure corner here too

morning girls!!

i am I want to have dinner with venus and thurso and everyone! - I want to meet everyone and hug and laugh and chat and cry!

now, here we go, tough love thoughts, isindi, you remember what i said the other night about 'dabbling with soberity'?, well, last night you found an excuse to drink, it hasnt made any bloody difference to the people you were with yesterday, it may well have had an effect on your dp though and now this morning you are feeling shitty and have to start all over again - the bottom line is that you drank because you wanted to! stop kidding yourself about why you drink, of course we all know people who are losing their jobs, we know people who are finding life even more difficult right now because of funding cuts, they arnt all getting pissed on it!, so what makes you so special that you need to? now my lady, you need to get a grip and show your dp and your girls that you really are the person they can trust and relay on, they need you!, you made them promises!, now prove to them you meant it! here endith the nag!

JWN - that is a really great post. Can I share this with you all?

I think a lot of us can relate to that post JWN, I know I can. It goes back to the old 'I've had a bad day/good day. I feel exhausted/elated. Because I can/because I know that I shouldn't.'

I still feel like getting smashed, especially on days like yesterday when it was one thing after another but I didn't. I went to bed feeling bloody brilliant because I didn't pick up the vodka. Oh I wanted to, I really wanted to. I had 1 glass of wine with dinner and left it at that which amazed me because I was convinced that come 10pm when Nemo finally gave in, I'd be straight into the kitchen for a large, neat voddy.

I wasn't interested in feeling out of control or drunk as such. I was interested in turning my head off, stopping it going over and over the events of the day IYSWIM. Sometimes I want to hit pause and just breathe.

So, PJs went on, meds were taken and book was read in bed.

And, even though my drinking is far different from many others here, I felt a tiny victory over my wobble last night.

Keep posting Babes, keep going xxxx

ma it was lovely. I had a really good time - I think by the end we could have talked all night. Anybody who was listening in would have throught we were religious nuts - the number of times we talked about Jesus, and in such familiar terms as well, even going as far as to compare ourselves to Jesus (and sincerely hoping that I'm not offending anyone who has a deep religious faith). And all our other friends seem to have pretty wierd names too...

Deliberately chose to go somewhere that was not an obvious wine bar. Easiest decision of the night? "some wine to go with that ladies?" "No thanks."

I'd say that it was something well worth repeating. If you're on this thread, don't have real life support from others in the same boat (e.g.AA) AND if you feel safe enough (and that is really important), then it can be good to make a real life link with someone who understands the temptations, the frustration, and the idiocy of drinking too much. Feels like the most honest conversations I've had in years.

Do you think loneliness plays a big part in people drinking?

I think it can do obrigada, why?

I know some people feel as if they'd be boring unless they were drinking in public, but then I think lots of us have had that experience when we realize that we're actually not the barrel of laughs we'd like to imagine when we're pissed!

Oops, pressed send too soon.

I think drinking eventually makes you quite a lonely person, because you end up prioritizing the drink over everything else. I know I'd go out with my mates and maybe seem to be having a great time, but I'd be thinking all the time 'can I get out of here just before 11 so I can go to the corner shop on the way home and buy a bottle of wine, because these 3 pints weren't enough', or I'd be thinking 'I can't go out now, I'm halfway down a bottle of wine and I'd rather stay here and drink than go out and pretend I only want one glass of something'.

The specifics might not ring a bell for others but I suspect anyone who's on this thread will have had times when they know they prioritized the alcohol over being properly sociable.

Why do you ask, obrigada?

I think it can do, yes, but only in the same way that people who drink too much do so because they have come to use alcohol as a way of addressing some particular problem (whether that be a "concrete" issue, or something in their character/emotions/etc, or both).

I agree with LRD, though, that excessive drinking exacerbates loneliness both in a practical sense and also by the depressive effects it has, which make one (me) feel like I'm not worthy of being a mother/wife/friend etc.

yes obrgarda, i think loneliness and the pain of it could make people drink - i have a fear of loneliness, im the sort of person who needs other people, i am fine with my own company for a day or two but after that i crave the company of others - tbh, i think its almost an illness for some people and i can understand why picking up a drink would be attractive - looking back though, i do think i was lonely in the last days of my drinking, mainly because i knew it was out of control and i didnt want to face up to it or discuss it or face the fact that the drink was the very thing that was making me lonely!

Jesus so pleased you watched the documentry, harrowing but what a wake up call!
I'm on 3rd day, leaving party in the pub tonight- I must go but I will not drink! I have a mock driving test tomorrow moring. For months I've been scheduling driving lesons at 8am Saturday so I can't get too pissed fridays- the things you do!

Afternoon everyone.

Also very at Thurso and Venus meeting up but at the thought of people overhearing you and refering to som eof the names on here.

I'm feeling a bit stressy today and partly my own fault for trying to be wonderwoman. Am re-painting my kitchen and trying to do it for next week when my family are up. Realised last night I was absolutley exhausted and all because I want my brother and sisters, mum, dad and friends etc to walk into the house and think to themselves 'boy she is doing really well doing all this with a full ish times job, 2 dc's and a hyper hound'. Very silly.

DP is back today so looking forward to seeing him but a bit confused that I haven't missed him that much, possibly just because after being single for a year I do enjoy time to myself and with the DC's.

XH being a twat difficult and will start charging me interest for every day I am late in paying him his share of the house, he doesn't get that I'm not delaying its just that re-morgaging is taking ages, too much fom filling etc. HX girlfriend spoke to DD on the phone last night on speaker phone (she was aware we could all hear her) and so said 'love you loads' to her when I was sitting next to her. I love the fact that she seems to like my DD but felt like saying 'back off, Mum in the room'

Sorry for rambling

Hope you are all OK Indie Ma Mouse JWN Venus Thurso OB LRD Trist sorry if I've missed many

Have I scared everyone off with my me, me me post

No, you'll have to do better than that zany!

I was trying and failing to find the right way to say that if your family doesn't already realize you're doing really well they bloody should! But it's funny how with family you push yourself to live up to all these ideals, isn't it? I know my mum lives in a pigsty - but catch me having her round without a frenzy of hovering and dusting.

Sorry to hear about your XP being a twat - can he legally do that, charge you interest? I mean, surely if the process is slow that's his problem as much as yours?

hi all, bit down today. my little taste of freedom over the last few days has made me realise how much I chafe under DH's suffocating clinginess and controlling. he was on me like a dog on a bitch this morning, marking his territory showing how much he loved me. Would have been nice had he said "How was London or Nice to have you back" first!" All day has been stupid questions about what I'm doing/where I'm going etc. All trivial stuff but so bloody annoying.
Went for a run just to get out of the house for 30 minutes...I am trying so hard not to pick up - even have my jammies on at this time of day - but I just want to down a glass or 12 and then, yes I kinow, will feel even more miserable and hate myself in the morning!

Thank you LRD, think I try and prove how 'well' I am doing with my family as I am one of the only siblings out of 4 to split from the father of their children and it was frowned upon by quite a few as they couldn't see I was unhappy. Part of a huge family where only me and about 3 cousins out of 25 have divorced.

Sorry to hear things aren't going so well since you are back Ma, it does sound like your DH is a bit suffocating. Can you talk to him about it?

Hi all.

Just caught up on the threads and realised I caused a commotion (?) on here the last time I posted. sorry, didn't mean to and won't go into it again otherwise it'll all start again.

I've been contemplating my situation and can so relate to the fact that most things I've done that I cringe about are alcohol related. It's obvious but a light bulb moment too.

x

zany that sounds rotten. It's a crappy attitude - I've never understood why staying in a bad marriage is made out to be such a virtue by some people. By the sound of your ex you're well out, at least.

My family would be exactly the same - my mum gets judgy about the fact I've had all of three serious partners including DP. All you can do is roll your eyes, I reckon.

dee - sorry to hear you're having a bad time.