The Brave Babes Carry On Past The Easter Booze Offers.

[NotTheMessiahJustMouseface]

Hello,

I'm Mouse, well, I am usually!

Welcome to the Brave Babes Bus.

This is a journey of sobriety, started almost a year ago by the wonderful jesuswhatnext. So why not come aboard and find a seat. There's heaps of support on here whether you are sober, drinking or somewhere in the middle.

And, for those of you who want a bit of history, here are the Previous Threads

Afternoon babes

Have made it to day 5 - the longest I've made in erm, erm, I really haven't any idea

I've got that annoying voice going round my head, arguing the toss about it being a Bank Holiday and that I should be at least able to have a couple of glasses of wine but I'm doing as JWN said yesterday and playing the film through to the end, as I don't 'do' a couple of anything.

Glad Nemo is OK, Mouse

Take care of yourself ma - hope you manage to find a solution to what must be a really tough time x

Well done obrigada on 4 days!

Well done Was - give that voice a telling off!

Can I have a big little moan?

Yes, Wills and Kate both look lovely, as do all the guests. BUT, I really don't want to hear about it, read about it, watch it all day feckin' long.

I hate the media for the way this has been turned into such a sensationalised event.

It's a fecking wedding. She's a bride, he's a groom, Phillip's a pissed potty mouth and Charles is a twisted old man who offed his ex wife. We all know what happens at weddings, one will fall off one's chair blind drunk by mindnight, another one will lose one's shoes, another one will puke in the fountains.....

One will cop off with one's uncle, twice removed. One will get into a punch up for looking at another one's breasts......

The DJ will be shit, the food okay but not perfect, the cake a waste of food, the speeches will be made by people who's names you can't understand because they are too posh so everyone will be called Ffarrfafafar or Tarquin.....

It's just like any other wedding. And just like any other wedding, I don't want it on all bloody day.

Meh!

Haha!

I was at work last night so missed the whole show as I've been in bed - the DCs weren't watching it whilst I slept but I caught a glimpse of the catch-up right up until DS commandeered the remote to put Garfield on!

I thought they looked lovely and seem to be very much in love (thought Diana would be spinning in her grave at Camilla waving away on the balcony though).

Like you though I've seen all I need to - what I really would pay good money to see is the drunken fools at about 10pm tonight, vomiting into the silverware and crying for their mummys

Can you imagine? Oh to be a fly in a martini tonight!

So, what are your plans today Was? MIL, DH and Nemo are all out in the garden planting flowers and having a great time. I'm on housework, laundry and food detail.

It's so nice and warm here. Perfect N&T weather!

Oh I'm doing what I do best after a night shift - lollygagging around in pyjamas hoping the housework fairy will pay me a visit!

It's overcast here but warm - I'm thinking of cracking open the soda water

I've been meaning to ask - I 'gave up' smoking years ago, but for about the past year I've been associating drinking with smoking and was puffing through about 5 ciggies each time I drank.

I'm thinking (now that I've had 5 days to think about it!) that some of the driving force behind my drinking is the need to smoke so that past few nights when I've felt myself wobble, I've gone in the garden and had a smoke. Do you think it's OK to do this or should I just stop it all together?

I feel like I'm sustituting one craving for another and that it might be the wrong sort of mindset but the other oart thinks that a few fags a week isn't as bad as 50ish units of alcohol?!

50ish might be a conservative guess, BTW

I wasn't smoking when I finally stopped drinking but a few weeks on, I started again (have a chequered giving up, starting, giving up smoking history..did three years once but have lately been doing two/three months and starting again ) I know it's really bad for me, and I know it's the most stupid thing i could but I went to see my stop smoking nurse (am a regular ) and she said, after discussing a whole heap of shit I've been through lately plus the AA stuff, that right now really wasn't the time to stop. I'm not in the right frame of mind. I know I will and when that time is right she will help me. I don't know what kind of a smoker you are but sadly we have addictive minds don't we! Don't beat yourself up as they say - I'm not condoning smoking, but I never got into the states I mentioned above by having a few fags!!

Was

I'm an ex smoker. But do you know, you have to stop your addictions in the order they'll kill you in, I learnt that from MIFLAW

So no, in short a few fags won't kill you, unless you fall asleep in bed with one!

And I mean the tobacco kind.

afternoon all,

I watched the wedding with dd, although I enjoyed it - it just wasnt the same as when I was young and watched charles and di, think little one was a bit bored - she did make me laugh though, she asked me if the queen has to wear a nappy!!!

I've been invited out twice today and declined, first off, I havent left the house at all since saturday and don't think I can face it yet - and secondly drink will be flowing today and I want no part of it, I'd rather stay here being boring but safe.

I had a really bad night last night, I don't think I've ever felt so lonely in my life and so aware of how much my life has changed.

I cried a lot - grieving for the time when I was happy and had lots of friends that liked me, rather than a handful that pity me. I cried for dd missing out on all the summer parties and bbq's because I wont be going, and I cried for the loss of my best friend and everything that losing her will mean.

knowing it's all my own fault just made it seem even worse, there is literally nothing I can do about any of it. I recited the serenity prayer in my head quite a lot, and it helped me a bit, I even slept in my own bed last night and slept all night too.

ma I', so sorry to hear that things are so bad for you, I've been there and I know how it feels - but I also know it WILL get better in time, I hated it when people said that to me but it's true. Hope we hear from you soon, and hope you're as ok as you can be.

Thanks both - I can't explain how helpful I find the advice on this bus, just to able to talk about things with people who understand

Mouse - of course the tobacco kind, I gave up being a raging drug machine years ago (well, apart from the booze that is, as changeling says, I definitely have an addictive personality).

I always feel that I should be 'rewarding' myself with something but it seems ironic that I'm doing it with substances that harm me - where the hell is the logic in that?

Hi qo

You're really beating yourelf up still, aren't you? So pleased to hear that you managed to sleep last night, and in your own bed, too.

Please try not to keep going over events - what's done is done and if anything positive can come from it, it's that you're not drinking and hopefully have reached rock bottom and can only climb up out of it from now on x

Qo, from following this thread I know that what you are doing now is projecting, try not to project, all you need to get through at the minute is today, and who is to say in a week/month whatever you will feel ready to accept invitations to parties. Just get through today.

I know what you mean about the projecting (I am doing that) but I have also lost a very important person who has been in my life for 14 years, someone I've been through thick & thin with, who is more like family.

I really don't blame her at all for not wanting anything more to do with me, the things I said to her were bloody disgusting, and even if she forgave me - we wouldnt be comfortable in each others company with that hanging over us.

I wouldn't want to see her, even if she wanted to see me, as the shame would be just too much.

I've apologised, my phone, text and in person - that's as much as I can do, I think she truly believes I didn't mean any of it, but if someone had done to me what I've done to her, I'd be very very hard pushed to forgive. It's just something I'll have to grieve for and get over, but it's hard.

I really feel for you Qo and I honestly hope I didn't come across as flippant, as you say you have done as much as you can do where your friend is concerned and of course like any relationship in our life that has ended there will be a grieving period. I hope that in time your friendship can be restored but you need to look after yourself at the minute.

thanks obrigada, I'm trying and feeling a little better day by day.

Also haven't had a drink since sunday which feels really good!! How are you doing?

I am ok Qo, keeping busy at work so that's helping keep my mind off other stuff, long weekend ahead so going to tackle the mess that is my home, and hopefully tackle the jungle that is my garden. Need to set aside time to sort out finances and stop ignoring bills:( Maybe I might sleep better then)

yeah I feel better when I'm distracted, I've watched so many films this week and watched 2 and a half seasons fo weeds back to back (very funny i=n case anyone's interested)

My finanaces are up shit creek as well, a combination of things but can't afford to pay several bills this month - so far I've buried my head in the sand, will have to man up and ring round on monday to see what I can sort!!

qo

Baby steps my lovely. YOU are in control of YOUR life. You do sound better again today and it's fab to see you on the Bus.

I love Weeds very dry.

hello, may i join the bus please?

not ready to admit to being an "a" yet (though i know deep down it is true)

am on day 2 and it is hard

Hey Cheer

Welcome to the Bus. So, day two huh? That's pretty good going tbh. Most Brave babes are still drinking whe they get on the Bus.

So, tell us something about you, or what your are finding hard right now, or even what your plan for the rest of today is?

hi mouse. well, it's day two but probably won't last long, never does.

feeling low, really missing it, not sure how to get through the afternoons without it so am counting the minutes until i can reasonably go to bed and that'll be another day done.

hi Cheermum. I'm on day 62 now and the first week felt like hell, but you can do, don't think about the next time you 'need' a drink or 'deserve' one or whatever, just try to focus on the negative bits of your drinking! Like someone said on here earlier - Watch the film to the end! That's a brilliant bit of advice. I personally go to AA - something I resisted for years and for me it's beginning to work. You have recognized you may have a problem, it's working out what you want to with it. I hope that's helped a bit! x

thanks, after reading the last few pages yesterday i thought about the waking up with dread, not knowing what vile things i did/said the night before and the embarassment that makes me feel and i settled for a milky coffee instead.

i'd like to be able to be a "social" drinker rather than using alcohol to blot out the world. not sure if that is possible though.

If you can honestly stop after one or two and not crave any more - then you can be a social drinker! If not, you'll have to think hard about really stopping completely! I know I can't stop so I have to abstain. It may seem horrific to think of life without another drink -ever! and it is really hard at times, but only you know how you are. Hope that may help a bit

Hello cheer, welcome aboard.

I can sometimes stop after a sensible amount, but I can't ever guarantee which times I'll stop and go home with no harm done, and which times I'll drink till I pass out/blackout/become a total c*.

I've tried cutting down, I've changed drinks, I've diluted my drinks and although that worked for me some of the time all it did was give me permission to carry on drinking. And like I said I can't guarantee which times I'm going to binge, every binge started with the first drink.

So it's safer for me not to drink at all, you'll have to work out what you think about your own drinking? It is horrific to think of life without another drink, but you don't have to think of it if you take it one day at a time - then it's only one day without a drink :)